Embarrassed Of My Lap Band - Ridiculous, I Know...

[goldielocks<3 2]

So, this might sound totally ridiculous, but I'm afraid to let people know that I've been banded. Mostly people like ex boyfriends and people who made me feel uncomfortable about my weight in the past, are the ones I absolutely never want to find out. I have this constant fear of random people finding out because it's such a small world! I'm embarrassed that I allowed myself to gain as much weight as I did, when it comes down to it.

I really want to post pictures of myself on here and track my progress, but I'm terrified of anyone recognizing me or word getting around (which is dumb considering there are only lap band patients here).

I have only told a select few people from my Mom's side of the family, absolutely no one from my Dad's side (which has been total battle considering I'm under his insurance), and my very best friends. I know that this lap band is just a tool that is already helping me, but I'm afraid that people are going to think that I'm just lazy and took the easy way out. In all reality, we're doing all the work, the lap band is purely a tool. BUT I'M STILL EMBARRASSED. ugh.

I don't know why I'm so terrified of people knowing. Anyone else feel this way? Or have a great perspective on it that may ease my paranoia? Please and thanks!

[jen_1381 446]

I understand, but you also need to give yourself credit for making such an amazing decision. My family was pretty critical of me getting the band, they didn't think I was "big enough" (I started at 243 lbs). While I'm not worried about people finding out, I do find that I'm hesitant to say "I had lap band" when they ask how I'm losing weight, because so many people don't understand. Lap Band surgery is NOT a cop-out. It is NOT the easy way out. It requires a ton of hard work and dedication to be successful. It was a very personal decision, one that I made on my own with my husbands input (which, by the way, he was against surgery at first too).

Everyone deserves privacy, and you can give them the honest truth - "I've changed my diet and started exercising" or "I made some lifestyle changes". They don't need to know the details.

[goldielocks<3 2]

Thanks for responding. Most of my family and friends didn't think I was big enough either. Do you think it's safe to post pictures on here or should I just cut my face out? haha

[jen_1381 446]

Well, I use my dog as my picture, just because she's so dang cute! If you're not comfortable with it then maybe just take the pics and put them on a file on your computer? That's what I did. As far as it being "safe", unless some of your family are really THAT suspicious and nosy they would troll around a support group to find you, I say do what you're comfortable with.

Really though, everyone I've encountered on here has been nothing but supportive. It's an amazing group of people!

[goldielocks<3 2]

Ok sound great. I might work on it! Thank you so much, Jen!

[SheenaLane81 4]

I have caught a little flack for getting the band because I lost 100lbs prior to having my Lapband. I like u had decided I was going to keep it a secret in regards to who all I was going to tell, but I decided to heck with that. And so far the response has been 100% great. I even had this devious plan to drop a ton of weight and flaunt it in front of the one exboyfriend that had ever made me feel bad about myself!!! LOL long story short I ended up telling him about the surgery pre op and he has been one of my biggest cheerleaders!!! :-). I'm hoping all works out well for u! I think we all know better than most how cruel people can be when it comes to a situation such as this. They view it as the easy way out and believe me, NOTHING has been easy about the journey to get here!!!!

[debbie221 4]

I haven't told many people either. Only my husband knew before the surgery, I didn't even tell my kids, who all still lived at home at the time. One cousin found out because she worked at the hospital where I had my surgery, she is an RN and is ,by law, not able to tell anyone. Over the past 2 yrs, I have gradually told more people. My immediate family knows as we eat dinner together often and my mother was very worried as to why I ate so little and vomited so much. Nobody judged, but all said I didn't need to have had the surgery, which is why I didn't want anyone to know beforehand , I didn't want anyone to talk me out of it. There are plenty of people who think weight loss surgery is the easy way out, I was one of them before I had it, but now I know it is far from easy. I tell people who ask that I eat less and exercise more, which is not a lie. But as far as the lap band, I don't feel that's anybody's business but mine. I wouldn't say I'm embarrassed, I just feel my medical history is for me and my doctor only.

[goldielocks<3 2]

Thank you. You're right. It's totally personal. I'm so glad I posted this topic. It's really been stressing me out. Especially thinking about going to visit my dad's side of the family. eeek. I really appreciate everyone who responded!

[running_scared 125]

I'm also embarrassed that I got fat enough to need weight loss surgery, so I haven't told the more judgemental people in my life.

[Jonna 4]

I am one of those that don't care who finds out what I've done for MYSELF!! That's right, this is a decision I made for ME!!! I wanted to live again and do things I wasn't able to do. However, I also make sure that I workout and watch what I eat so that I can honestly say that it's not the band that is doing all the work for me. Everyone knows that I go to the gym 4x per week for about 1.5 hours each day, so they can't say "oh she took the easy way out". I am proud that I made this decision and I can only hope that I can help someone that is on the fence!! Best of luck to everyone!

[NWgirl 574]

I think what you're feeling is completely normal. I don't want many to know, but if they find out, they find out. I figure if they are on here (which is the only way they could find me unless they randomly come across my blog, which is highly unlikely) then they probably feel the same way I do and would not tell.

I did start a private Facebook seperate from my normal one so I could post photos and have lapband friends.

[TKW 501]

I don't care who knows, but I know some people do. But by all means don't let anyone make you feel like you took the easy way out. I have been overweight since I was a child. I am now 49. I've been on every diet under the sun, and I can tell you this, I have never worked so hard at losing weight as I have with the lap band. It is just a tool, a tool you are using to help you lose weight. You know.... the same way a car is a tool and "they" use it to get to work instead of walking (that would make them lazy too, right?) Same way we every tool ever invented is used. To make life easier, more convenient, to aid us in our journey.

Good luck to you!

[DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703]

I understand how you feel.

It's weird, because pretty much everyone in my life knows I had Lap-Band surgery, yet I don't put my pictures up here because I don't want every random idiot on the internet seeing my picture and going "Oh that's the fat chic!" Also, like you, I have an ex I don't want to accidentally stumble onto info here either.

Now I do post pictures on Facebook, in fact I'm currently only a 1/2 pound from the 100 pound loss mark and will definitely be posting one there when I finally hit it. But, my Facebook list is relatively small (about 100 friends) and my settings are as such no one can see my wall except people on my friends' list.

I wish they had a setting here so only registered members could see pictures. I'd definitely post here if that was possible.

[pink dahlia 2,513]

you made a smart decision to get banded, as its a way to get healthy and strong . however , some people who know nothing about the band may see it as a cop out and you're going to get flak from them. if you're the least bit sensitive about it , i say DONT advertise your face or anything that people could connect to you. once info of any kind is out there, its really out there ! And theres no taking it back !EVER I had no problem telling people about the band and got 100 % support from family , friends and co workers, but i knew i was dealing with good people in the first place. Im kinda a private person outside of that and would not feel at all comfy sharing anything with the rest of the world. i dont do Facebook, dont put much private info on my lap band profile, etc. So i would suggest you keep your privacy if youre uncomfortable . you can always change your mind later. Good luck !!