Once Brave Now Petrified

[dragonfly37 0]

I started my journey in October with my consultation. My best friend went through LapBand 2 years ago and I saw her fabulous transformation. After my aunt died in August I decided this was a journey I needed to make, 30 years heavy was too many. I was initially told it would take six months for insurance approval but everyone that I knew had had their surgery scheduled in much less time. I was excitied and began to follow the rules...no soda, no drinking with meals, 1200 calories...but each subsequent visit I wasn't losing and I wasn't getting approved early. I'll be honest. I am an emotional eater and I turned back to my old nemesis. Anyway, it's 6 months later and I was approved the first time my case was submitted to the insurance. I should be excited but I am scared to death. I am 375lbs and 37 years old. I started gaining weight when I began grade school and it just continued from there. I was 250 lbs when I graduated high school. I don't want to be skinny...I just want to be not so big. I am just so afraid of failing yet another weight loss plan...this is life changing I know that. I want this, I really do. I am self-sabotaging, that I know. I don't want to be but I start following the rules and then before I know it I drink just one soda and it snowballs from there. Please tell me I am not alone in this...please tell me someone else out there has walked in these same shoes prior to your surgery. Oh, btw...no surgery date is set yet but my Pre-Op is Wednesday, May 30.

[AXA 19]

I found it very hard to follow all the rules before my surgery. Why don't you just pick one or two that will really pay off for you later? The major thing I did was quit diet soda. That was huge for me because I was so addicted. I replaced it with drinking lots of Water. So, then, I followed two rules! That's enough. It's good that you know what the rules are but just do what you can right now. It's better to succeed with one rule than to fail at all of them all, right?

The exception to all this is... when you do get scheduled for surgery, concentrate on doing well on your pre-op diet because it really will make your surgery safer if you can reduce the size of your liver.

[Grandma3 73]

My fears didn't start until the week before surgery. I kept doubting my decision and two days before surgery I was canceling it.

My friend talked me thru it, she reminded me of the reasons I wanted to have the surgery and told me how happy I would be a year from now.

She told me she was there for me day and night. Not to mention my husband is behind me 100%.

I had not found Lap Band Talk yet and had it not been for her I would not have had the surgery.

I had the surgery and did fine, I am one month post op and so far so good.

It worries me that I can not eat the things I love like ice cream and cake or drink my case of soda a week.

That seems like a small price to pay,

I once heard a saying that goes, nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

I agree with you, I am not looking to be skinny but under 200 would really make me happy.

Find someone to make this journey with you and will be there for you, you will need the support.

Is your friend there for you? She would be great support since she has had surgery.

I hope you find some peace with your decision.

[cmk99 39]

I am scared also, I have failed so many times before I don't want to fail at this too!

[DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703]

You sound A LOT like me. I, like you, have been big for what seems like forever. I too was around 250 when I graduated high school and I haven't been under 300 pounds since I gave birth to my daughter almost 18 years ago. I hovered around 380 for many years, then gained even more when my health took a turn for the worse the last couple years. I maxed out at 421.

I know you're scared, but if you are willing to make the necessary life changes to be successful with the band, you will be so glad you did it. I never in my wildest dreams thought I'd lose weight. I still have a ways to go, but I've already lost 96 pounds in just under 5 months. I was hoping to have lost 100 pounds by my birthday in a couple weeks, and now I'm sure I'll actually surpass that goal. I LOVE my band!! This is by far the greatest thing I've ever done for myself.

Hang in there, you will do beautifully too

[Jerseygirl82 18]

You. Are. Not. Alone. Please, read that over and over until you know it in your heart. I too and am emotional eater and was addicted to soda. I gave up soda a month before surgery. The emotional eating is still something I struggle with. Think about all of the times that you eat, now think about how many times you have actually been hungry. Im guessing the two numbers are nowhere near the same. That has been hard for me, but I am trying to let the band work the way it should. I won't lie, I still have times when I eat because I'm angry, upset, scared etc, but now I choose things like FF Greek yogurt or weight watchers light string cheese.

Good luck

[lassie 247]

HI Girl I will be praying for you thru this process. Hang in there it will get better when you start seeing results.

Stay in touch you will get a great ideas from this forum.

[AlleyKat 26]

I'm pre-op with mu surgery date set for June 22nd. I have many of the same fears as you and the other people on this board. Some days (Most) I am excited and ready to begin my journey. Other days, i wonder if i have made the right decision and if i wil succeed. What if i fail, I've failed at everything else I've tried. I'm also self pay (live in Canada). Was it a waste of money? Would that money have been better spent on the house or saved for retirement,

Then i pause. what kind of life will i have if I DON'T get the surgery. i have spent fortunes on every diet under the sun. I waste money on take out and new cloathes because my other one's dont fit. I don't feel good about myself. My doctor has told em I MUST lose the weight or I'm going to have more serious health problems then I already have. I'm recently married and we want to have kids in the next few years. What kind of Mum will I be when I can't play with them and I'm sick. What kind of influence will I be?

These are just my reasons and I'm sure I will be a nervous wreck in the week(s) closer to my surgery but right now I just keep remining myself of why I persued the surgery in the first place. I also have a friend who recently was banded and she is my rock. She has guided me through every step so far and I know she will be post op as well.

Never forget why you wanted this in the first place and find your support person.

Good luck!!

[NWgirl 574]

As everyone has posted before me, you are not alone. I am an emotional eater as well, and have done fairly well so far (or so I like to think ). I approached this as a lifestyle change, not a diet. I had been on/failed so many diets through the years, I did not want to have those limitations.

To make this the lifestyle change I needed it to be, I do not have any foods that are off limits. If I want ice cream, I eat it. If I want chips, I eat them. Honestly I can say this approach keeps me satisfed and doesn't make me feel so deprived. I now enjoy these occasional treats and don't beat myself up about them. They do not go through my daily rotation and I've found myself choosing healthy Snacks because I want them and not because I feel obligated by diet.

For me, I knew that I wasn't going to "fail" about two weeks ago a few days after my second fill when I actually felt restriction and knew I couldn't eat endlessly. The thing that really drove home my new life was on Saturday when I tried on a pair of size 16 jeans and they FIT! I started in a size 22 and couldn't fathom getting my butt in smaller jeans.

Please don't be afraid. Think of the things you will be able in the future that you can't do now. It is so worth it!

[Sojourner 2,446]

I started my journey in October with my consultation. My best friend went through LapBand 2 years ago and I saw her fabulous transformation. After my aunt died in August I decided this was a journey I needed to make, 30 years heavy was too many. I was initially told it would take six months for insurance approval but everyone that I knew had had their surgery scheduled in much less time. I was excitied and began to follow the rules...no soda, no drinking with meals, 1200 calories...but each subsequent visit I wasn't losing and I wasn't getting approved early. I'll be honest. I am an emotional eater and I turned back to my old nemesis. Anyway, it's 6 months later and I was approved the first time my case was submitted to the insurance. I should be excited but I am scared to death. I am 375lbs and 37 years old. I started gaining weight when I began grade school and it just continued from there. I was 250 lbs when I graduated high school. I don't want to be skinny...I just want to be not so big. I am just so afraid of failing yet another weight loss plan...this is life changing I know that. I want this, I really do. I am self-sabotaging, that I know. I don't want to be but I start following the rules and then before I know it I drink just one soda and it snowballs from there. Please tell me I am not alone in this...please tell me someone else out there has walked in these same shoes prior to your surgery. Oh, btw...no surgery date is set yet but my Pre-Op is Wednesday, May 30.

No, you are definitely not alone with your struggles to be successful with dieting and maintaining a stable weight.

You did not mention why you chose to have a band over other WLS methods. I would encourage you to both do some additional research into how the band is effective for weight loss and the other options you may have which possibly are better suited for you...AND, I would also schedule a consult appointment with your surgeon to discuss your history with diet compliance and concerns about remaining compliant post op.

The Band is only a tool, and it is (pardon the expression) not a "cake walk" to be successful with using this tool. One has to be aware and mindful every day to be compliant with both your diet, and the steps you need to go through to be successful with weight loss.

I hope that you will move towards your procedure with both inner peace stemming from being an informed consumer and an authentic self determination for success with your weight loss. Best of luck!!

[Nick Nack 0]

I know just how you feel. I am 2 years post op and oddly enough I didn't have these fears before my surgery. I had waited and wanted it for so long that fear wasn't present on the surface. Now however, 2 years later, and not having the success that I thought I would...I do have fears everyday. The band did allow me to lose enough weight that I'm now expecting my first child so for that I'm thankful...but I'll be honest with you...everyone's experience is different. I attend a support group through my physician's office of 35+ people twice a month...no 2 stories are alike. There are people in there that are dropping weight like nobody's business and have no problems. There are people that are miserable and can't tolerate any foods. And there's everything in between. As much as you prepare and as much excitement as you may possess, there's only one way to know how it will work for you and that is to take the huge leap of faith required to do it.

I know it isn't easy. And I would definitely encourage you to talk to your surgeon about which WLS option is best for you and what they offer in terms of post-op support. It shouldn't stop with surgery...

Best of luck to you.

[dragonfly37 0]

Thanks everyone for you wonderful show of support. My preop was today and I cried during it. I am really afraid of failing and worse I feel I partially have because I have lost no weight in the 7 mths leading up to today. My friend that I mentioned is a big support but I need to learn to base my outcomes on me and not on her experience. Everything has seemed to have changed a bit since her surgery 2 years ago. Also, I did weigh all my options, I really did. I have two friends that have had Gastric Bypass and 10 years later, though the weight is gone, their health is bad in other areas. Lap Band is really best for me and I know this. I just need to quit allowing my head to screw me and get 'in the game' so to speak. Thanks again everyone. I'm glad we have this forum to talk to each other. BTW, surgery is tentatively scheduled for July 6.

[cfurrey 53]

im am completely with you. i have amazing support backing me but for some godly reason i cant get past my fears. im not turning back now no way this is what i want and need but im a week away from surgery and every day gets harder and more nerve racking. i so badly want to jump back out of this depressive hole im in but i just cant. i tell my self every day ull b around longer for the kids as i have some bad health issues and thats my goal so what ever hole im in even if i cant climb out i still see light shinning down!!!