Sex Hang-Ups Before & After Surgery

[eyewonder 24]

This is for people that are married, single, living together, or just having a lover or two. (Or perhaps 3 or more.) No judgement on this post please (if anyone responds)

My hang-up before surgery was showing my naked body because of my weight. My atmosphere was candles, colored lights, and even a light on in the hall while my door was slightly opened. Daytime was when I really felt self-conscious.

I do realize as a woman that men could careless at that given moment.But there are men that would bed you down but wouldn't want you to be a part of their life because of your weight.

I know if someone is familiar with you, things can just flow and it may not be a big deal about your weight. But what about women seeking new love in their life?

So after surgery and you lose weight, does the loose skin or scars make you feel undesirable? Do I still need candlelights? LOL

I would love for some men to respond to this.

I know I'm not alone in this. Does anyone else have sex hang-ups because of weight issues?

Oh I must add that I do love myself, I just don't like myself this way.

[marfar7 1,533]

I was married for 19 yrs during most of my "fat yrs". My husband died 4 yrs ago unexpectedly. 2 1/2 yrs ago I got the band placed. I started dating when I had lost about 50 lbs (was still about 60 lbs overweight). Had sex for the first time in 3 yrs after losing about 70. When I met my current husband (we've now been married 5 mths) 18 mths ago, I weighed about 25 lbs more than I do now. While I thought about my body, I'm definately not one to have sex in the dark - I like to look at his face ! (Sorry if tmi). And while I do have some dimpled skin on my stomach, losing it slowly sure did help with the skin sagging! If I had an extra $8,000 lying around, I'd probably get a Tummy Tuck, but the only people who see it is me and my husband who doesn't care.

My husband calls me "skinny mini", cuz my legs are stick thin. I think I look like a marshmallow held up by 2 toothpicks. He says to tell you that most men don't care about saggy skin either. If he's interested enough to date you, he's interested enough to sleep with you. Like you said, if he wants you in his life, he probably doesn't care. I'm so glad that real men aren't like the ones depicted on tv as only liking waif type girls. Most women wouldn't have a chance!

Good luck!

Marci

[eyewonder 24]

@Skinny mini Thank you for being open and honest, and I'm so sry to hear about your first husband. I like looking at the face to, I'm not in the dark, just dim lighting. Congradulations on your new marriage, and tell your husband thank you for his input and that I appreciated it very much. Skinny mimi you are so right about real men and women wouldn't have a chance without them. Thank you

Edited May 15, 2012 by eyewonder

[SageTracey 608]

Any hang ups you have before weight loss will still be there or may just manifest themselves differently post weight loss unless you get your head in the right space. My husband of 28 years has loved me through thick and thin - literally. I still worry about my looks but instead of it being my fat gut it is now my batwing arms. On the other hand, I have always thought he was drop dead gorgeous, but he worries about his stomach or his facial wrinkles.

I guess it's just human to be dissatisfied with how we perceive ourselves.