Scared

[Mimi1980 27]

I am in the preapproval stage right now, but since yesterday I've had this flash of fear and uncertainty come over me.

I've heard so many success stories, what if I'm not successful?

What if I give up on it like I've given up on every diet I've ever been on?

What if the band makes me sick?

The more time that I have to think about this, the more time I have to doubt my decision.

Have any of you felt like this? How did you get over your fears?

[Christina2013 18]

I am also in the process of getting my surgery. I have to do 5 more months of diet for insurance, which is also giving me plenty of time to think. When I have doubts, I always start thinking of all the reasons i want this. My family, health, and happiness have suffered. I want them back! Just keep your head up and chat with others on this site. It helps me everyday! Good luck and feel free to chat with me if you just want someone to talk to!!!

[eyewonder 24]

@mimi I decided a year ago to take this journey because i knew i needed it. But something kept nagging at me. It was fear of the unknown. Doubts if I can actually stop eating all the things I love to eat. I said if I do surgery it would be the lapband because it is less invasive. But it is still surgery with possible complications, as with any surgery. Further down the line a thought creeped in my head to just do the bypass surgery and I would look slim and trim really fast. But that thought was shot down fast.

I let a few months go by before I went back for an appointment and said ok this is it I'm going to follow through and complete the test required. Then I slacked off again. Mimi I just wasn't at peace in my spirit about the surgery. I had all the if's and but's about the surgery. Images of all kinds of happenings.

It wasn't until 3 months ago that I made up my mind as I looked at my health condition which was getting worst. What I did was first made up my mind, Pray and turned it over to God. I know that praying sometimes is not the answer some look for, because they need a spoken voice to soothe them and assure them. But in reality nothing is sure.But if you sit still and listen to that quite still voice God will give you direction. If you can't hear Him, then he will order your steps and lead you in the right direction.

As for me I finally have a Peace in my spirit about my surgery coming up, and everytime a negative thought creep in my head, I quickly cast that thought down. Then I think of something else. I'm not going to lie to you and say just because I have a Peace I'm 100% not nervous. I'm excited and sort of nervous at the same time. Only because it is life changing. The Peace I speak of is a settling in my Spirit that I know this is best for me, my mind is no longer undecided.

What really helped me is this website, it's not a day go by that I'm not reading these post and searching for answers. People on here are very supportive, and I appreciate everyone with the courage to ask and give support.

I know this is a long long post, but I wanted you to know that you are not alone. I was given great advice throughout my life at certain times. I would like to share a couple of them with you.

I was told when my mind was confused and had to make a decision for me to stop going back and forth. Just make a decision whether it is right or wrong.

Also if someone else can do it, so can you. Hope this helped Good luck

[Cnewme2012 11]

That was such a wonderful post eyewonder, I felt exactly as you did. I will have to admit that I was nervous even after I had prayed and turned it over to God, but I know that we are human and its ok to be nervous. But I know that if I didn't do something that my health would be in jeopardy. I know that I am going to give this my best shot because if not then what else is there left for us to do. I will pray for peace in your spirit Mimi1980 and that you will have a successful surgery and a successful lapband journey -

[eyewonder 24]

@Cnewme Thank you, and I like what you said "I know that I am going to give this my best shot because if not then what else is there left for us to do".

I pondered that thought as I looked at the outcome if I didn't have the surgery. One of the images I had in my mind was depending on others to take care of me if my health got worse because of being obese. When your independence is taken from you sometimes your spirit wants to give up. The will to live comes into play.So it was a decision that was necessary in order to live longer. So it's no turning back now on my part.

[Mimi1980 27]

Thank you Christina, eyewonder and cnewme

Eyewonder, it's like you know exactly what's in my heart. I've been struggling with my weight my whole life, but it wasn't until 3 years ago that I really started feeling like this was a life or death situation. I had other things going on health wise so surgery was not an option then. Now that my neurological health has stabilized some --- it is finally the right time. I know I NEED to do this because nothing else has worked.

I just wish that I could have made the decision then have the surgery within the same week. That way I'd have less time to doubt my decision.

Thank you all for your advice and wisdom. I will keep going through my appointments and hopefully by the time I'm approved and have a surgery date, I'll be at peace with my decision.

I really love this forum.

[donna12 742]

@mimi I decided a year ago to take this journey because i knew i needed it. But something kept nagging at me. It was fear of the unknown. Doubts if I can actually stop eating all the things I love to eat. I said if I do surgery it would be the lapband because it is less invasive. But it is still surgery with possible complications, as with any surgery. Further down the line a thought creeped in my head to just do the bypass surgery and I would look slim and trim really fast. But that thought was shot down fast.

I let a few months go by before I went back for an appointment and said ok this is it I'm going to follow through and complete the test required. Then I slacked off again. Mimi I just wasn't at peace in my spirit about the surgery. I had all the if's and but's about the surgery. Images of all kinds of happenings.

It wasn't until 3 months ago that I made up my mind as I looked at my health condition which was getting worst. What I did was first made up my mind, Pray and turned it over to God. I know that praying sometimes is not the answer some look for, because they need a spoken voice to soothe them and assure them. But in reality nothing is sure.But if you sit still and listen to that quite still voice God will give you direction. If you can't hear Him, then he will order your steps and lead you in the right direction.

As for me I finally have a Peace in my spirit about my surgery coming up, and everytime a negative thought creep in my head, I quickly cast that thought down. Then I think of something else. I'm not going to lie to you and say just because I have a Peace I'm 100% not nervous. I'm excited and sort of nervous at the same time. Only because it is life changing. The Peace I speak of is a settling in my Spirit that I know this is best for me, my mind is no longer undecided.

What really helped me is this website, it's not a day go by that I'm not reading these post and searching for answers. People on here are very supportive, and I appreciate everyone with the courage to ask and give support.

I know this is a long long post, but I wanted you to know that you are not alone. I was given great advice throughout my life at certain times. I would like to share a couple of them with you.

I was told when my mind was confused and had to make a decision for me to stop going back and forth. Just make a decision whether it is right or wrong.

Also if someone else can do it, so can you. Hope this helped Good luck

I felt the exact same...I finally turned it over to God. I went to a Lap Band seminar in '08 but I just wasn't ready back then but now, now I'm ready. I'm tired of hurting knees, back hurting, getting out of breath and furthermore, I do not have children so if I were to ever get in the situation of not being able to take care of myself I would be in a nursing home and my obesity has robbed me of so many things in life.

My obesity has robbed me of fun activities throughout my adulthood, being self-conscious, it eventually ended my marriage (guess he was tired of me being fat) and now, well now I'm at my witts end of getting around. I watched my dad die of heart disease at age 67 and I certainly do not want to die an early age like that and if I keep going like this, I'm headed down the same road, death's door.

Thank you for your words of wisdom, they are powerful. May God bless you on your journey. I'm just starting mine. I do not see the surgeon until the 24th, just had my Psych Eval Friday and I am hoping to have surgery by the end of June. The rush, well, my BCBS ins expires as I have Cobra from my divorce and it runs out June 30th and I told my surgeon so they are doing all they can to rush things along. If I can't have it by then, I am looking at doing a self-pay because I will have to wait months maybe almost a year before I can have surgery with the insurance I have to pick up come July 1 and I can no longer wait. I'm tired of waiting, now is the time for me to be a better me, a healthier me. As stated above, send all your worries to God, He listens and He will rest your soul. Put all your trust in Him.

Donna

[eyewonder 24]

@mimi Keep me/us posted and message me anytime. You will have a peace because Prayers has already went forth for you from people reading your post. So be it

[eyewonder 24]

@Donna 12 Talk about hurting knees and back, I very well understand that, and not being able to enjoy fun activities. Self-conscious, you said it right, I can think of so many times I felt like that to the point of not wanting to socialize.

I hope and Pray that your insurance will carry your surgery in time. Once I seen my surgeon, it was only a few days when I got my call for approval. So if I agree and you agree then God will be in the midst of it. I read that somewhere "When 2 or more are gather together( like in agreement) then God will be in the midst of it" Some of my post comes off like I'm real religious but I'm not. I do have God in me, so when I write I can't help but acknowledge him. God knocked me to my knees once, and humble me and put a whipping on me that I thought I never would recover from. I'm telling you this to say He got my attention LOL So I can't help but speak His name.

As you can tell I like to write, so I will send you a poem I think you can relate to.

Take care

[Mimi1980 27]

So, I feel a little better today. I finally told my mom and my sister about my plans (I didn't tell my sister, but she asked me because she saw the LBT app on my iPad, so I didn't lie). They are both really supportive and I was able to talk about some of my fears with my mom who's a nurse and a good candidate for the surgery herself. It really helped to talk about it and mom reassured me that I'm making the right decision. She's seen how unhappy I've been the last 3 years and knows that I must make a change. Who knows, my decision may inspire her to do something too.

Eyewonder, your light shines through the Internet. Don't ever feel the need to explain your belief in God. It is a beautiful part of who you are you you should continue to share it with others....

[clarks4willie 153]

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Eyewonder. And everyone for the words of encouragement. Thought it wasn't my post, I'm having doubts now that my surgery date (aug 15th) is set. Can I do this??? I've struggled diet after diet.. I went to a lapband information night a year ago, but it wasn't the right time- NOW is the time for me& just this morning, I called on God to help me though yet another turning point in my life. I pray he walks this path with me. Yesterday was a good day- I was in 100% for the surgery. Then then next day doubt. Seeing others go through the same thoughts and emotions really help. Thank u all.

[donna12 742]

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Eyewonder. And everyone for the words of encouragement. Thought it wasn't my post, I'm having doubts now that my surgery date (aug 15th) is set. Can I do this??? I've struggled diet after diet.. I went to a lapband information night a year ago, but it wasn't the right time- NOW is the time for me& just this morning, I called on God to help me though yet another turning point in my life. I pray he walks this path with me. Yesterday was a good day- I was in 100% for the surgery. Then then next day doubt. Seeing others go through the same thoughts and emotions really help. Thank u all.

I just wasn't ready back in '08 when I attended a seminar but now, now I am. Yes, I will admit, I am a bit nervous but I've got my faith and family and that's all I need. It won't be easy I know this, but I am determined to make it thru and work the program and lose the weight for good. Keep your attitude and keep looking towards God and He will keep your doubts away.

[eyewonder 24]

@mimi You have made my day, just knowing how your mind has been renewed. "God is good" This shows us the power you have when you finally feel how worthy you are of great things.. You are so much stronger than you realize if you stay focus. For you to have taken the steps you have from just the other day is amazing grace. Plus you can see yourself as being an instrument to help your mom and others.

Thank you for your keen insight and mentioning about my "Light'. About my statement that I'm not religious but I have God in me and etc. I just didn't want to overdue it, like I'm teaching/preaching in my posts. I'm just a person who Loves the Lord. As a matter of fact I wrote a post tonight about "Sex and hang-ups before & after surgery". I don't think God was in that one LOL

[eyewonder 24]

@Clarks4willie First keep reading these posts because there is so much support and advice that will help you through. God will walk with you, but you have to put the work in too. He will give you the strength that you need to jump over some hurdles, go under some hurdles and knock down some hurdles. He's walking with you now, you were lead to this website and you found this post. BY the way that "Doubt" you had after believing you can do this surgery, was nothing but you and Gods "enemy". Wanting you to take a "U" turn from the direction that is best for you, which is your Good. Don't let him win

[OldMomOf3 52]

Awesome replies everyone. I'm right there too - nervous as all get out, but trusting God and knowing he has control and will work all things out for good - even if they don't feel real good. I know God would not allow me to come this far (approvals, timing, husband's support, etc) if this was wrong. I know he will close the doors to plans he does not have for me. Still nervous, so much so that I cried while going into my endoscopy today, but trusting, nonetheless.

Thanks for the posts and the wisdom.