Don't Judge What's On My Plate

[johnnycantrock 71]

When I don't judge what's on yours.

I've been banded for 5 weeks. I have lost 30lbs and feel real good. I've noticed I've started feeling less restriction, and can eat more than 4pz but my doc can't see me 'til 2 weeks from today.

So tonight I have a plate of veggies. I know I can't eat them all, but they're there nonetheless. My mother in law walks by and asks,"How can you eat all that with your surgery?!" mind you, she's done this several times before, and I give her the same answer. "I can't eat all of it, so I eat what I can, then put the rest in the fridge for later.

But it bugs me that she sees my progress, she knows my losses, she sees me eat less, but every time I have food, she asks me that question, and it's asked in a dry, condicending tone!!

The worst of it is, she says this about my plate of veggies and she has a HEAPING bowl of chocolate Syrup covered ice cream and a container of Oreos!!!!!!

[tomosia 12]

I think this is the main reason I ont plan on telling my mom or most people. They don't realize how thoughtless simple comments are.

[johnnycantrock 71]

Everyone in my life has been supportive and encouraging, even her. But she's the only one who just doesn't understand What I'm going through. She's like a cheerleader who cheers her team on, but doesn't understand the game and criticizes it while it's going.

And it's healthy food, too!!! I understand if it's a box of chocolates, but veggies?!?!

I know she doesn't intend to be mean, it really isn't, but it's aggravating to have the same conversation over and over and then she sits down, in front of me, with a big bowl of sugar!!! And I'm suppose to be understanding!?!?!

[honk 780]

This is the reason I don't tell people at work! Was she eating ice cream in your home? If so I would stop buying ice cream. If she complains say "Well I really can't eat ice cream so there's no point in buying it" I'm sure that would tweek her. Childish but so satisfying.

[Jenn1214 120]

My fiancé gets this from his family all the time. He's newly banded and I think his head hasn't caught up yet, so he'll put more on his plate than he can really eat. He did it to me once too a few months back, but I nearly bit his head off and we had a huge fight, so he hasn't done it since!

It can be very annoying feeling like you are always under a microscope when it comes to eating. I constantly feel that people are judging what I put in my mouth, even if they don't say anything. I try not to let it bother me, and since my results speak for themselves, I don't get any comments about my food choices. This isn't a diet, it's a lifestyle, so if I want a cookie or something once in a while, it's not going to hurt me. People don't get that.

[Holly Dolly 575]

When I don't judge what's on yours.

I've been banded for 5 weeks. I have lost 30lbs and feel real good. I've noticed I've started feeling less restriction, and can eat more than 4pz but my doc can't see me 'til 2 weeks from today.

So tonight I have a plate of veggies. I know I can't eat them all, but they're there nonetheless. My mother in law walks by and asks,"How can you eat all that with your surgery?!" mind you, she's done this several times before, and I give her the same answer. "I can't eat all of it, so I eat what I can, then put the rest in the fridge for later.

But it bugs me that she sees my progress, she knows my losses, she sees me eat less, but every time I have food, she asks me that question, and it's asked in a dry, condicending tone!!

The worst of it is, she says this about my plate of veggies and she has a HEAPING bowl of chocolate Syrup covered ice cream and a container of Oreos!!!!!!

Get in the habit now of putting only what your normal portion should be on your plate. If you finish it, fine. If you don't that's fine. That way you don't go overboard. If I didn't do this in the beginning, or now for that matter, I could still eat way more. But when I finish, I am satisfied.

[Change2011 2]

I realize that questions and comments regarding the subject of weight, food intake, and weight loss in general have always been a touchy subject for me. The fact that I have had this procedure did not in and of itself change that fact about me. What is changing slowly but surely is how I am feeling about myself and in general and my weight and health. So, while unsoliciated and advice and questions regarding my lapband or food intake is still somewhat of a sensitive subject for me, I now filter and respond to it in a different manner. How I use to respond and or felt really depended on the person asking and/or the way they asked or even the way I was feeling about myself that moment; I never said a word to that person but internalized it or complained to everyone but them. Now, I don't internalize it or take it personal (even if was meant to be personal). I am working on not allowing how someone thinks or perceives me to affect how I think or perceive myself. So when, I get unsoliciated comments, advice, questions, and I have a negative feeling about it, I first stop and ask myself why I am feeling this way. Secondly, I address that person accordingly and respectfully. If I don't feel the need to explain what is on my plate or why, I don't (99% of the time I don't; I have been know to say things along the lines of "thanks for your concern about _________ but none is needed I am fine".). If I feel like someone is being rude, etc. I tell them that I feel their comment was rude, etc. or ask them directly what is their concern, etc. I usually can figure out the true intent and if I can't there is certainly no question about about mine.

Bottom line, from my own experience, most people treat you the way you allow them to treat you and I have learned that I have some responsibility in how I allow people to speak and/or treat me.When someone says or does something that is upsetting, annoying or offensive to you, you should tell them and/or address it, otherwises they may not ever know. Don't ever assume someone should know or understand how you feel. Sometimes people are trying to be helpful and not hurtful or just curious and asking a question and other times not. Either way, if you don't speak up for yourself and they continue to do it, you should take part of the responsibility for them continuing to say or do something that they may have no clue is offensive to you. If you tell them and they continue to do it, the responsibility is all theirs.