Jealous Spouse?

[takingaleap 71]

Sorry in advance for my spelling. Spell check is gone

I just started my journey, and I have to do a 90day diet in order for my insurance to approve me. My husband is a little smaller than me, but not much. Today he was very rude about me getting the lap band. He is telling me go do it, but on the other hand he is rude about certin things, just kind of selfish. Anyone have this experince? I think he is now coming to terms with the fact that he is going to be the fat one. Lol

[Sojourner 2,446]

Sorry in advance for my spelling. Spell check is gone

I just started my journey, and I have to do a 90day diet in order for my insurance to approve me. My husband is a little smaller than me, but not much. Today he was very rude about me getting the lap band. He is telling me go do it, but on the other hand he is rude about certin things, just kind of selfish. Anyone have this experince? I think he is now coming to terms with the fact that he is going to be the fat one. Lol

Actually, the relationship dynamics you describe are quite common...anytime that one of the people in a relationship changes the equilibrium of that relationship, insecurities can be expressed. Change is a word that frightens many people. It does seem that you are going to "rock his world", and he is not too happy about it...

[SageTracey 608]

Yes, change can be frightening, even threatening for the people closest to us. The best thing you can do is show by your actions and behaviours that he is still and always will be your number one guy.

My husband encouraged me to get the band and then expressed concerns that I would be attracted to other men or that other men would be attracted to me. Considering he was the same weight as the day we married 28 years ago, I thought it was a strange concern that I might become attracted to other men!

But we have taken this journey together and he is absolutely my hero. We eat mostly the same foods, unless we are eating out and we would have had different meals pre-band, so no biggie! We also workout together. I have made massive changes to my food choices, portion sizes and activity levels and am enjoying the health benefits. He has made great changes to his exercise regime and willingly gets out of bed early mornings so we can exercise together. He is even taking adult swimming lessons because I love to swim.

The benefits to him are not only that he gets to have me around and healthier than before, but his cholesterol is also down.

I hope your husband can become your champion on your journey!

[judych 225]

Sorry in advance for my spelling. Spell check is gone

I just started my journey, and I have to do a 90day diet in order for my insurance to approve me. My husband is a little smaller than me, but not much. Today he was very rude about me getting the lap band. He is telling me go do it, but on the other hand he is rude about certin things, just kind of selfish. Anyone have this experince? I think he is now coming to terms with the fact that he is going to be the fat one. Lol

im sorry that he is being like this with you but im wondering if he is feeling quite insecure now. Men are like that a lot. it well could be that he is feeling that you are going to be losing weight and he is going to be left behind. Men have funny ways of looking at things sometimes.

[judych 225]

Yes, change can be frightening, even threatening for the people closest to us. The best thing you can do is show by your actions and behaviours that he is still and always will be your number one guy.

My husband encouraged me to get the band and then expressed concerns that I would be attracted to other men or that other men would be attracted to me. Considering he was the same weight as the day we married 28 years ago, I thought it was a strange concern that I might become attracted to other men!

But we have taken this journey together and he is absolutely my hero. We eat mostly the same foods, unless we are eating out and we would have had different meals pre-band, so no biggie! We also workout together. I have made massive changes to my food choices, portion sizes and activity levels and am enjoying the health benefits. He has made great changes to his exercise regime and willingly gets out of bed early mornings so we can exercise together. He is even taking adult swimming lessons because I love to swim.

The benefits to him are not only that he gets to have me around and healthier than before, but his cholesterol is also down.

I hope your husband can become your champion on your journey!

well put.

[takingaleap 71]

Thank you everyone, i will try to show him, i dont plan on going anywhere, i know i have told him a million times, after all we have been together 10 years and have kids together lol! I do wish he would be happier for me, and not say things like, well i guess we wont be going to the buffet any more! Smh

[SGP78 16]

I had that a little with my husband, but I talked him into going on a "diet" with me for support and he has lost more weight then I have. I was band on 3/8/2012 I tell him everyday how good he looks. This is taking the attention off me and on him.

[ready4therealme 41]

My husband has been very supportive but sometimes he will ask me if I am going to leave him when I get to my goal weight. I know deep down inside he knows I wont but some of his family members always tell hiim watch it. "She is pretty now imagine how pretty she is going to be thin, she is going to leave you!" I'm sure they think it is funny and are koking but it bothers my husband. I LOVE my husband and we have been through so much. I tell him all the time why would I leave a man I trust, a man I love and a man that I am building a life with. We work out together, go bike riding and are more active. It think this journey is bringing us closer together. Just give him time. Men are not good with change.

[SGP78 16]

LOL! My husband asked me the same thing! I married him when I was skinny why would it be different when I lose the weight!?!? Guys are a little different.

[Jenn1214 120]

Strangely enough, my fiancé never seemed that worried that I would up and leave him once I lost weight. We were both obese when we met and fell in love, so I guess it was never a concern. He proposed to me at my highest weight, a month before surgery. I was always afraid that he was only attracted to me as an obese person and that he would lose interest once I lost weight, since I knew a girl who had gastric bypass and had the same problem. He seems to love me no matter what size I am, so lucky me! He's been banded almost 3 months now, so we have our own little support group!

[takingaleap 71]

You guys are making me feel so much better! I'm going to talk with him tonight. Then maybe he will relax a lil LOL After all im just starting my journey anyways i have a long way to go