What to tell people ?

[sparkling 0]

Hi everyone! I have a date set for 3/23 still waiting for my insurance approval. I'm quite nervous waiting . I was just wondering what to tell family and friends. How does everyone handle social events and Holidays? food is such a big part of everyday living. I didnt want to jinx myself till I found out from my insurance. Just that its getting close

[marys 2]

Ive told no one but my significant other and other bandsters i met. I have been tempted at several times but feel I can always tell down the road but once I tell I can't take it back. This is very personal so think hard. Congrats on your date. No one has ever noticed anything strange about my eating. I got something stuck at home with a friend here and i just went upstairs and said i had to make a long phone call - most people don't pay that much attention.

The liquid phase and surgery healing will be hardest to conceal - eating before your first fill may be very similar to pre-surgery as you may have no restriction and no one may notice - after y our first fill you will need to be very careful learning how to eat slow and chew and NOT PB - you should eat out as little as possible and alone or focused on your food. This is not becoming a hermit - just a learning phase. If you are socializing, watching tv, etc. you tend to eat faster, etc.

[DeLarla 22]

Nobody but my husband knew. Nobody knew for a couple weeks. Nobody has to know about the band till you are good, ready and comfortable talking about it. That could be a week, a year or never. You'll know when the time is right.

Till then, just let everyone know you're changing your life one nibble at a time, and if they press you, walk away after handing them a hunk of fudgy cake and saying, "Here, enjoy."

[DOC 0]

Hi,

This was such a personal surgery for me. I told my DH, my kids who are in their 20's, and my two best friends. That is it.

I am so happy with my decision. I am usually to tell everything from the roof tops and decided not this time.

It is up to you, but I agree, once you tell, you can't take it back.

good luck....

[mousecrazy 2]

AS always, Jack gives excellent advice! The answer to your question is very individual, and depends on your attitude, and the attitudes of your family and friends. I am fortunate to have very supportive and easy to get along with family and friends. Like Jack, I have received practically 100% positive responses. If there's a .9% out there with a reservation or disagreement, it hasn't been voiced out loud.

Since everyone knows, eating occasions are no big deal. I eat what I can and what I want; no one ever says anything about it. Honestly. I enjoy most of the same foods everyone else enjoys...I avoid the things that don't work for my band, but everyone has personal tastes, so it just looks like it's my personal taste not to eat a loaf of bread!

Good luck as you sort through all of this...you will learn what is right for you! Cindy

[shforbes 0]

As someone who was recently banded and at a time that was filled with family birthdays and functions, I found it easier to tell the truth. Most of my family already knew. When we get together for these functions it's usually at a restaurant. At first I thought this would be very difficult because I am still in the liquid phase, but it isn't. I just politely tell the waiter/waitress that I've had surgery (no need to go into detail) and I am only allowed broth and would they please strain it. I haven't encountered anyone yet who wouldn't. It terms of telling those that aren't close to you my husband took it upon himself to say that I had hiatal hernia surgery (since I was diagnosed with one during my EGD). It explained the immediate effects after surgery (walking slow, unable to lift anything heavy, pain, etc.). That was enough for me for right now. As the weight comes off, the situation might change. I'll have to decide if I want to disclose the truth at that time. For those that I have told, I've found that everyone wants to know everything. There are many people out there who would love to have the surgery and just want a chance to ask questions and get answers from someone that has already been through the whole process. It's individual. Do what comes naturally and seems comfortable to you. Remember: you don't have to disclose anything that you don't feel needed. That's your right. Good luck!

[Wheetsin 714]

I told everyone. I told them back when I was just thinking about it. IMO I had nothing to hide, and am not terribly concerned about any resulting disapproval (WLS would be the least of my worries in this area).

I've not been banded through the holidays yet. I did go out to eat with DH & my parents when we were visiting them, and I just ordered a small Soup and a bowl of cottage cheese. Knowing my friends & family, they will make a point to have at least a few dishes that are WLS-friendly.

Even if I'd wanted to not tell people, I couldn't have. For one, it's just not me to lie (or "withhold" the truth)... whatever which way you look at it. There's no way I'd have surgery w/o telling at least my closest family - we just aren't like that. As for outside of my family, my friends & co-workers would want to know why I wasn't going out to eat lunch with them, did I feel ok b/c I wasn't eating very much, and if something got stuck I'd rather them understand what was happening and "act normal" than be concerned that I was sick.

I just never have seen any reason to hide this. I'm not ashamed, or concerned about others' reactions.

[lynng35 0]

Hi Sprarkling,

I told my fiance, family, some friends and co-workers but not my kids. They are 14 and under and I didn't want them to think that weight should be an issue for them. I told them I was having my appendix out and they believed me. I guess you just have to consider who your telling. If someone is supportive of you normally then they probably will be with this. If not then dont tell them, who wants to hear a bunch of crap about trying to do other things to loose weight from someone who is probably a size 8 and can scarf down an 18" meatball grinder in one sitting without gaining an once anyways?

[Jachut 487]

I told all and sundry.

Social events and gatherings are the same as they ever were only I eat less. Nobody notices that I have one glass of wine instead of 3 and nobody notices I only take a small amount of food or leave food on my plate. Its simply a non issue.

[mustang sally 0]

I am new to this forum. I was just banded this monday, the 13. I told my family but there arent that many of us. I am a weekender at my job so we are a close group. I told them and they were very supportive of me. there is one woman that has always struggled with her weight so i wanted her to know that when i started losing weight that i had done so with surgery. also i am off the schedule for 2 weekends and that caused them to say "whats up with that".

now my husband has told his friends that i had a hiatal hernia repair so that would explain his absence. when i lose weight, he will say that i am losing weight.

my closest friends know and they have been very supportive. it is a very personal choice. good luck to you.