Those Of Us Who Are Brave Enough To Share Weve Failed

[soulsong 0]

I am not an uneducated or stupid person.:Let me put that out there. I did alot of research and talked alot on another forum before my Operation and found an excellent surgeonat extra cost. Almost 4 years have gone by. I have not lost much after the few first weeks, where I think its was more recovering from surgery. I have had 4 fills. I have shame and everyone wants to tell me how WRONG I am. That its MY fault it fails etc etc. The fact is I feel hungry - It has DONE NOTHING to actually change my appetite levels. A cold tablet does more with a bit of psuedo in it. Sure food can get 'stuck'.( we all know about eating slow and certain things that do ) And I either vomit or drink it through- I know Im as tight as I can take it given the changes within the month . I wish Id gone for gastic bypass or sleeve. At my last fill about a year ago other than feeling dreadfully embrassed - I met several others in my boat so its not unknown. Just most who post are the 'success stories'. Understandable.

I can of course watch my diet as I used to it past ( but still have to reply on discpline as much as ever and I dont do too great. ) The whole thing about it making your stomach think its full is a joke to me. After 3 years of no change I began to put on , eating same calories just like the old days- the body finds its level and wants to revert to it.

Anyway I have alot of shame and sadness that I cost my family this much money and IM still so fat. I really wish more people would get real who dont get a big loss so we can understand why it is like this for some of us. But we hide away as we used to before we tried to get the help.

I dont want to go back to the surgeon this time because its too sad and basically a waste of time and money. I wish ID had the sleeve at least somthing would have shifted!

peace x

[Jim1967 3,569]

Sorry to hear you going through this. This has been my biggest fear. Everyone who knows me now know I went for this and I am afraid of personal failure but I also don't want to be known as the fat guy who couldn't lose weight with weight-loss surgery.

[jodi8135 6]

I am so with you...I feel like a big failure. I am two an half years out I had struggled to lose 40lbs in the first year then I got pregnant gained all the weight back. Now my baby is 6 months and once again I am struggling. The practice where I had my lap band has a new doctor so I talked to him and we are considering doing the sleeve but he wanted me to give the band one last try so he gave me a fill. And I think he may have had magic hands I feel more restriction then I ever did. But on the other hand I really can't eat anything mostly Protein shakes and small Protein Bars and sometimes fruit smoothies for extra calories. It's only been 3 weeks and I lost 8lbs but I know my body I will get to a curtain loss and get stuck and now without eating I don't know what more I will be able to do.

Since for me it was like starting from fresh I am looking at it a whole new way so I guess I will just have to wait and see. But don't give up like you said this thing wasn't cheap try doing more shakes the first week was touch because I wanted food to chew but now I don't even think of food because I am sick and tired of throwing up

Good luck

[DizzyLizzy 21]

First off, the band is not magic. You will have to do some work. I just "re-discovered" this. I was banded December 2009 and did great my first year, lost almost 70lbs following the band rules and counting calories. Then I went on vacation and ate every sugary thing in site, which of course all slid down just fine, and drank shakes, slushies, all that bad stuff! Out of shame I refused to go back to my doctor thinking I could be back on track myself. A year later, and and extra 20lbs, I obviously did not! As they say EPIC FAIL!!! I was sooo hurt and disappointed in myself. But I told my family because I wanted to hold myself accoutable, and saying, YES, I MESSED UP, is helping me to cope!

I had also stopped counting calories faithfully too. I didn't realize it at the time, but that bowl of sherbert, oh yea a serving is 120 calories, but that's half a cup, not a whole bowl, which, it's sherbert, turns into liquid as soon as it hits your mouth, goes down fine, oh so tasty, so it's easy to put down a bowl... every other night! It was a slippery slope to eating this and that. Sure I stayed away from potato chips because they would always get stuck, but not the pizza, and other greasy fattening stuff.

So it takes willpower, you have to work with your band, you still have to diet and be conscious of what you put in your mouth. And you have to exercise. And I also managed to stretch my pouch and tilt my band, discovered that after a week of constant acid reflux finally drove me back to my band doctor! And now all my Fluid has been taken out for at least the next 5 weeks. So I really have to have some willpower now!!! Work with your doctor, you may have a slip or tilt. Or you may just be too tight makeing you result to liquids and softs which are easy to go over on your calories without you even realizing it because they don't keep you full. Good luck!

[dhales 98]

I really don't think there are any magic fixes/procedures...and why some are successful with any particular procedure while others are not is beyond my knowledge. But perhaps with more people coming out and sharing it will help us understand why it isn't working for some and working for others. Is it physical, psychological or luck? ...or maybe a combination of all three. I can't do anything about the luck....but I am trying to combat obesity both physically with the band and psychologically with counseling and hope that through both angles I can combat it.

I have heard of people gaining back weight with the other weight loss surgeries as well and in fact using the band ontop of a Gastric Bypass...etc. Good luck and I hope you are able to find more answers here. I will be following along so that maybe advice from this posting can help me in my journey.

[Jim1967 3,569]

I have heard of people gaining back weight with the other weight loss surgeries as well and in fact using the band ontop of a Gastric Bypass...etc. Good luck and I hope you are able to find more answers here. I will be following along so that maybe advice from this posting can help me in my journey.

For example...Carnie Wilson. She is now on her 3rd weight loss surgery...I hope it works for her.

[DizzyLizzy 21]

Exactly, I personally know 4 people who have had gastric bypass... 3 women and 1 man. Only 1 of the women lost a significant amount of weight and has kept it off the 4 years since she had surgery. The rest are bigger than before they had surgery, so none of them are fail proof! The one thing that stuck out for me, is the guy not long after his surgery said "My doctor wants me to go to a support group, I don't need no dang support group!!!". Now I know, yes WE do!!!

[dhales 98]

Sorry to hear you going through this. This has been my biggest fear. Everyone who knows me now know I went for this and I am afraid of personal failure but I also don't want to be known as the fat guy who couldn't lose weight with weight-loss surgery.

Jim - that is most certainly part of my motivation as well and my biggest fear. Just about everyone knows and i know they are watching me...some critical and some cheering me on. I want to tick off the critical naysayers and not disappoint the cheering crowd. Every time I am tempted to have something I shouldn't - I think of that. I also tell myself that there may be a time when I can have that treat in moderation and when I won't feel guilty about it. It's kind of my little psychological trick to keep me strong...on days I feel weak.

[Holly Dolly 575]

I am 15 months out, 10 fills later, not including 2 fills that had to be removed and refilled again. I am still hungry all the time. But I have sucked up to this fact and do what I gotta do to get this weight off. I'm not perfect, I still eat my sweets, throw back a chip or two. But the band is a tool that you need to use to help you lose the weight. It's not going to do it on it's own. Maybe you need just a little bit more in your band. I am going this Friday for a fill, she said she would give me .1 and I am filled already to 7.3 in a 10 band. I am hoping this help with my hunger, but not holding out for it.

Also, the band isn't about making you feel full. It's about being satisfied with what you ate. I by no means feel full and at first that was hard for me. I was used to walking away or rolling away from the table feeling stuffed! So to me before surgery satisfied meant being stuffed and now I no longer miss that feeling.

Don't give up. Reevaluate what you are eating and keep track on an online site. I started eating a 4th meal and it has helped. I now eat my lunch around 10:30 and then another small meal around 2.

Good luck to you.

[Cazzy 725]

I am 15 months out, 10 fills later, not including 2 fills that had to be removed and refilled again. I am still hungry all the time. But I have sucked up to this fact and do what I gotta do to get this weight off. I'm not perfect, I still eat my sweets, throw back a chip or two. But the band is a tool that you need to use to help you lose the weight. It's not going to do it on it's own. Maybe you need just a little bit more in your band. I am going this Friday for a fill, she said she would give me .1 and I am filled already to 7.3 in a 10 band. I am hoping this help with my hunger, but not holding out for it.

Don't give up. Reevaluate what you are eating and keep track on an online site. I started eating a 4th meal and it has helped. I now eat my lunch around 10:30 and then another small meal around 2.

Good luck to you.

I am so with you on the hunger front and i recently gave up smoking .. omg now that is hunger. I cleared the house of ALL bad unhealthy food and now when i am hungry beyond my willpower i reach for greek yoghurt, smoked salmon, ricotta cheese anything that makes me feel not so hungry but doesnt push me over my calories. No weight loss sugery will make good choices for you in relation to eating only you can do that ..,. All WLS requires lifestyle changes and long term commitment, it is better not to live with regrets over what u didnt have done and make the very best of what u did have done ..

[Jim1967 3,569]

All WLS requires lifestyle changes and long term commitment, it is better not to live with regrets over what u didnt have done and make the very best of what u did have done ..

This is a great statement. I just posted on my blog about how I questioned my decision to have the band or bypass. I think I am done with that. I have the band and now I am going work it. I lost a lot of weight before without the band (gained it back) so in theory I should be able to do it again with the added tool.

[gale_1016 18]

It all comes down to the fact that there is no such thing as miracle weight loss. No matter if you try fad diets, take appetite suppressants or have WLS, it's still a lifestyle change that you have to commit to for "life". I'm only 2 1/2 weeks out from getting banded so I know I still have a long road ahead of me with alot to learn, but when I made the decision to put down $10,000 to get banded I made a commitment to give up my old ways & start a new, healthier way of living. Could I have done the same thing without a $10,000 band placed on my stomach??? Probably. But I need that tool, which is all the band is, to help me. I was addicted to carbs prior to the band. Breads, pastas, cakes & candy. I haven't had a bite of bread or Pasta in over 4 weeks. And I can honestly say, I'm doing fine without it. It is a lifetime commitment. Not a quick fix.

[Cazzy 725]

This is a great statement. I just posted on my blog about how I questioned my decision to have the band or bypass. I think I am done with that. I have the band and now I am going work it. I lost a lot of weight before without the band (gained it back) so in theory I should be able to do it again with the added tool.

I can remember feeling exactly the same way .. wondering if with all the weight i had to lose why i chose what seemed to be the most difficult road, i kept seeing stories of people who lost 100lbs and 100lbs on the bypass and was thinking why the hell didnt i do the bypass.. this thought hit me quite often at the beginning of my journey but slowly i have come to appreciate just how adaptable the band is .. i feel in control of it even tho it still sneaks up and attacks me sometimes i know that for the most part it does what it says on the label. I can choose to cheat, i can choose to eat the wrong food and i can choose to get some unfilled ... my choices are that i choose not to do any of this .. i am too old and was too fat to go anywhere near that time in my life again .. and now i have the chance to get rid of all this skin and feel normal again .. so no regrets and no looking back ..

[Holly Dolly 575]

It all comes down to the fact that there is no such thing as miracle weight loss. No matter if you try fad diets, take appetite suppressants or have WLS, it's still a lifestyle change that you have to commit to for "life". I'm only 2 1/2 weeks out from getting banded so I know I still have a long road ahead of me with alot to learn, but when I made the decision to put down $10,000 to get banded I made a commitment to give up my old ways & start a new, healthier way of living. Could I have done the same thing without a $10,000 band placed on my stomach??? Probably. But I need that tool, which is all the band is, to help me. I was addicted to carbs prior to the band. Breads, pastas, cakes & candy. I haven't had a bite of bread or Pasta in over 4 weeks. And I can honestly say, I'm doing fine without it. It is a lifetime commitment. Not a quick fix.

I was a huge carb lover, thought I would miss pasta and bread terribly. But I don't. I'll have bread at a restaurant or an occassional piece at home, but don't miss pasta or bread at all. Just not worth the extra calories for me. And I still have to track my calories or I could def eat more than I do.

[betheboo 40]

I have been very fortunate to have lost more weight than most. My doc can't hardly believe it. However I have a cousin with the band who has not been as fortunate I know it's super hard for her bc she has had a lot of stomach issues, she has some weird pain disorder. She also is pregnant now. Seeing her struggle makes me realize that this is not a magic fix. You still have to make good choices & focus on ur weight loss. She didn't count cals or monitor what she ate bc she said " that's y I had surgery so I wouldn't have to worry about that stuff " Well u still do. Surgery or not. There is only a very small population that can eat whatever whenever & we r not it! Watch a skinny person eat. They eat small portions & good food.< /p>