Why didn't we know ... before surgery?

[pugmum 0]

Er...with all due respect, if this discussion were directed--and concerned--about the current lap band preop curriculum or "situation" and not "people," why is the title directed toward those (people) who are "lazy or dumb?" It doesn't exactly set the thread off on a positive note.

Paul has it correct, I believe, if it's a question for someone, it's not a dumb question. I'm sure the original poster may have asked some not-so- worthy questions in the beginning. :biggrin1:

Kelli

[Tricia K. 0]

Tricia isn't asking us to conform to her way of thinking. I believe that she is just frustrated with the repeat questions at times. But let me clarify that she is NOT frustrated at the person but at the situation. Then again I don't wanna put words in her mouth either. That is my perception of the situation.

Penni, you hit the nail on the head! Thank you! :confused:

Your posts on this thread, and yes on other threads as well, do come across as being VERY judgemental. They sound as if you are not only asking, but DEMANDING that others think/act/be like you.

Donna, as I've said before, everyone is entitled to their opinion. With that said, you couldn't be farther from the truth. Understandably, personalities are often hard to determine on a message board.

[divaliciousdee 0]

There is no Dumb question if you don't know the answer. Yes people eat what they are not supposed to and continue sometimes after the band. All of the support groups, seminars, message boards etc. cannot help you until it just clicks in your head that YOU have to be responsible for YOUR own actions. When I was first banded I thought well I have this band, it holds only so much so I am gonna lose anyway because I can't eat as much cheesecake as I did before. I can have one slice a day instead of half the cheesecake. I still needed to give up the cheesecake. Exercise too, well I have this band so I will lose anyway all I need is exercise to not be so flabby. I have been banded 6 months and just started a regular program of exercise. Like Dawg said it may just be a cry for help. I know that it bothers you but I agree that the topic of this thread is very harsh...no it is kind of mean. No inflection is needed when you ask is someone dumb or lazy..those are negative words anyway. You have your opinion of which you are entitled just as I have mine. I think the topic could have been worded differently. I usually stay away from threads like this but I was curious.

[cashley 0]

I researched for about 9 months before my surgery. I knew about the surgery, the two surgeons I concidered, about the diet before and afterwards, not drinking, no colas, and lots of things.

But when it gets down too it... you have this little voice in the back of your head saying "Maybe it's not too bad to drink or Maybe you can eat chocolate between meals" Hell that little voice tries so hard to sabatoge me so I have to bring it here.... look for confirmation on the right anwers - on what's actually worked and not worked for you all.

Sometimes it's not like we don't know the answer; we just ask anyway for confirmation or plan ole' discussion.

[babsintx3 0]

Hi,

I looked back to my posts of 3 years ago on obesityhelp and thought "Wow", my questions were so stupid. Of course back then, no one had the answers either! LOL I looked back in the archives of DFW bandsters where I asked the same dumb questions about plateaus, why am I so hungry with the band unfilled yadda yadda yadda..... I deferred to the very few bandsters out there that actually KNEW something about the band.

Based on the tone of this post, I must be a stupid or lazy person for asking so many dumb questions............!!!

I can assure you the doctors were not very informative back then in 2003 and many of them still are not and that is part of where the problem lies.

As an earlier poster mentioned, I think generally speaking folks know the answers to some of those DUMB questions and are just looking for positive affirmation, support and agreement. Or maybe they are just looking to purge or need accountabilty.

Like I said in an earlier post, obese people are harder on each other than thin folks are to us, which is so sad cause we are harder on each other than we need to be.

As a tenured bandster, I do get frustrated sometimes to hear the same questions over and over which we should logically know the answers to if we are having major surgery and a medical device implanted in our bodies. And yes, there are some folks that dont take responsibility for their own actions and do the necessary research. I think in the case of the obese, we are many times so desperate to be of normal size that we may sometimes plow forward without completely doing due diligence and the research. I mean look how many drugs for weight loss and different diet plans many of us have tried before the lapband. To me, the lapband was not a scary decision that required a year of research. When compared to the option of staying obese or having a bypass, I plowed forward and made the decision to have the band with only a month or so of research.

And yet I have been successful with the band, so who determines who the stupid or lazy folks are? Whats the criteria???

Babs in TX

334/180ish

-150 ish

6/23/03

[PhotoNut 7]

Personally, I think this thread is getting off track. It was not about dumb or stupid questions. It was about why are people not doing research before they have lap band surgery. So many questions are asked here on these boards that should have been answered prior to surgery. It's not that the question is dumb.. all questions are great! Ask away. What I think Tricia is trying to say, as many have already pointed out on this thread, is why weren't these questions answered long ago?

I understand that sometimes we don't know what questions to ask. And many of us have said, 'Why didn't I think to ask that before?' What we are astounded at is the very basic questions that are being asked here on LBT after people have their bands.

As for those of you who are wanting to keep a fight going over this. Trust me, it's not worth it. I think Tricia gets what you're saying. You don't need to pick her apart and convince her and everyone else here that she's wrong for how she said things. Let it go. We are not here to hurt one another. We are here to help one another. And telling everyone to wise up and get the answers to very important questions PRIOR to surgery is a huge help to everyone.

[kimalicious 5]

TO me, it seems that every doctor also has different ways of doing things. If someone asks about eating after fills you will see 10 different answers on the same question from 10 different doctors. This can be confusing and at the same time make you wonder which doctor is right and which doctor is wrong? Everyone is going to think their own doctor is right on the subject at hand due to thier own experiences. This is going to be true with most procedures and most surgeons. I think we all need a little reassurance sometimes no matter how much or how little research we did. No question is dumb and if these people were lazy they/we wouldn't be here asking the questions here and now. I think instead of asking a thread like this we should be giving as much of our own experiences out to these folks threads so they can have a better understanding of their own band and answer the new newbies questions down the line.

[babsintx3 0]

Hi Susan,

I think YOU are missing the point. Not all of the basic questions are answered by surgeons or their assistants. So much of the information out there is incorrect or anecedotal and only can be gleaned from experienced bandsters who have been there and done that. And even then, the banding experience is different for all. Therefore, what I am saying is until it happens to you, even though you may expect it, you self want affirmation that you are normal even if the question has been repeated thousands of times with the same answer.. Now if you come to this site and complain you are not losing weight because you are eating 6 chocolate bars for Breakfast and want to know why your band isnt working, then I think logically you should know better.

As an example, NO ONE told me that I would be so hungry after banding and PRE-fill. I dont see this information listed anywhere in the INAMED handbook or my doctors handouts..... MMM, does that make me less intelligent or does that mean I did not do enough research preband cause I come here and ask the question.. why am I so hungry.? Well, DUH your band is not filled, so therefore you may not have restriction after post op swelling goes down. But ya know there are some people who dont even need a fill and have immediate restriction from the get go. So if you can tell me where my research should point me to that answer other than through other bandsters, then I can concur with Tricia. Until then I stick to my guns that MOST questions are not the result of stupidity or lack of research.

Babs in TX

334/180 ish

-150 ish

[cashley 0]

Hi Susan,

As an example, NO ONE told me that I would be so hungry after banding and PRE-fill. I dont see this information listed anywhere in the INAMED handbook or my doctors handouts..... MMM, does that make me less intelligent or does that mean I did not do enough research preband cause I come here and ask the question.. why am I so hungry.?

Thanks for posting that... I didn't know that about being hungrey before the fill. I knew it didn't have a fill but I have had friends that had the surgery and weren't hungrey at all (I guess from swelling) for the first 6 weeks until the fill. So I was very suprised I was hungrey.

As a newbie I felt this thread directed right at newbies as stupid and lazy. Sure I could have searched to see if there were any similar topics before I posted but I didn't.

Just because a post is made over and over again doesn't undermine the value of the question to the new member.

[the best me 6]

I think this is a great thread with a poor Title. Sorry Tricia K. Your title just doesn't do your point justice. And once again, I see all sides of the issue. So, ta ta, I'm signing off now.:peace:

[Gloria37 0]

As for those of you who are wanting to keep a fight going over this. Trust me, it's not worth it. I think Tricia gets what you're saying. You don't need to pick her apart and convince her and everyone else here that she's wrong for how she said things. Let it go. We are not here to hurt one another. We are here to help one another. And telling everyone to wise up and get the answers to very important questions PRIOR to surgery is a huge help to everyone.

Hi Susan,

Yes, we do need to pick her apart...her title to this thread was rude. All people are different and she's expecting people to be like her. I didn't do no research, I knew I wanted WLS and I was going to get it. I asked many questions to my doctor but sometimes you forget. I agree with cashley and most of the newbies I think that the title of this thread was directed at the newer members of this board. I think she's a bully. If she doesn't want to read threads over and over again then why doesn't she skip over them?

I also agree with you, we're not here to hurt eachother we're here to help eachother! And this thread was NOT helpful!

[pugmum 0]

Susan,

I'm curious as to what would possibly move you to think that we, a supposedly large group of adults, are going to follow your directions when you consistently really just want to control the situation? Normally I would not do this, but I have seen this for months and am baffled. You have really good information, but it consistently comes across with a lecture-type tone, like you're better than and you're relatively new at this, too! I hope this does not trip you up in normal life. I mean that. Sometimes people really resent this type of attitude and they miss the valuable "message" because of the "messenger."

Kelli

[Alexandra 55]

Tricia, say the word and I'll help you edit the thread title.

I think it's a very good point that everyone's doctor is different and the MOST helpful thing is to share other bandsters' experiences through support groups and fora like this. No question is dumb or too naive. though they do get repetitive sometimes (which is why it's a good thing there are so many people here to answer them!).

It is surprising, to some, that people are willing to jump in with both feet to a lifestyle change they don't seem to have researched thoroughly. But there are always mitigating circumstances.

[Tricia K. 0]

Tricia, say the word and I'll help you edit the thread title.

I think it's a very good point that everyone's doctor is different and the MOST helpful thing is to share other bandsters' experiences through support groups and fora like this. No question is dumb or too naive. though they do get repetitive sometimes (which is why it's a good thing there are so many people here to answer them!).

It is surprising, to some, that people are willing to jump in with both feet to a lifestyle change they don't seem to have researched thoroughly. But there are always mitigating circumstances.

LOL...I'm to that point now, Alexandra. Many people have made some good points here and it's nice to see all sides of the story. I truly just wanted some clarification as to why some people don't research prior to going under the knife. I just can't comprehend it. And, like I said before, I'm not picking on any group in particular. I'm just trying to point out that it's imperative to know everything that you can before undergoing surgery, of any type. So, Alexandra, if you wish to change the thread title to something you feel is more appropriate, I am all for it. Maybe it will alleviate some of the hard feelings.

[Alexandra 55]

And before this goes any further, let's call a moratorium on discussing people's posting styles, please?