What do husbands think

[SherryW 4]

I've also been blessed with a very supportive hubby. When I was first talking to him about WLS he was very attentive and asked questions regarding it. He told me he'd support me 100% and do whatever he could to help me on with this journey. Right from the start he told me he loved me for me just as I was but, if this surgery would help me love myself more then he was there to do whatever was needed. He was the one that got me to do the walking and exercising before my surgery. He took the time from work or arranged his schedule to drive me to Boston for every visit, every appointment. He was there when they put me under and there when I woke up. He listened to my silly talking through my morphined state in the hospital and listened to the same thing over and over as I woke up and fell asleep. hahaha. During these past 2.5 weeks of all liquids he's helped me pack my lunch to make sure I had what I needed. Made me cream of wheat and Soup etc. He was with me today at my post-op visit to hear the good new that I've lost 15% of my access weight and cheered me on. I'm looking forward to this losing journey and I know he'll be there with me even when the scale refuses to move...holding me and reminding me he loves me and I'm worth this effort. I'm a lucky gal....and I want this for the both of us

Hugs to you all and good luck on your own personal journeys.

[fireman20 3]

This has been the best thing my wife ever done(besides becoming my wife). Her self esteem and confidence have gone through the roof! I can't imagine how our life would be if she had not been able to have this surgery. This was a big step in her life and I am so proud of her for having the will and courage to do it. :clap2: :clap2:

[Constance 0]

The first time I mentioned it to my husband it was in IM (instant messenger). He said "no rubber bands around the gut, OK?". But by the time I had read him countless threads from this board (both good and bad), he started to come around. Finally, we went to an info seminar for Dr, Snyder in Denver and he was fully behind it.

Ironically, I was SO concerned with getting my husbands acceptantce of the suregery and now *I* am the one getting cold feet!

[mrycrltn 2]

I love the guys responding. It's nice to hear what they have to say. There is some really good stories on hear.

[MyKdsDad 1]

I am reminded of the song by Mary Chappin Carpenter....(tuning up manly voice) "Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be"...but that wasn't going to happen. Joy's weight was like the old saying, 5 lbs per year. She weighed 150 when we got married....30 years ago. Do the math. The co-morbidities were beginning to work their way into our daily lives. Her health and attitude were both heading into the basement.

Now I see a change in both. We're looking forward to the future...together. She's talking about going out and buying a new wardrobe and I'm standing here with the Visa card. She's planning a trip to Atlanta to see the daughter unit, by herself.

One of the main things I've told her all along is that I will do ANYTHING to help her. The one thing I CANNOT do is lose the weight for her. Believe me, after all these years we've been through a river of tears and late night discussions and we're down to the bottom line. IF IT IS TO BE, IT IS UP TO ME (her)

[mrycrltn 2]

Randy.... I've lost too. Can I have the Visa card?

[FunnyDuddies 6]

DH and I used to be against WLS because of RnY. we had never even heard about the lap band. We never discussed it. Then rob started his new job, and met a band girl in his office. He started doing research, and brought the idea to me on our way up to North Carolina for Thanksgiving with the family. We talked the entire 12 hours. We were both so excited! Everytime we were alone for about a month we would talk about it. Wedon't talk as much about it now that we are waiting, but when itis brought up, he is more excited about it thanme most times...and that is saying a lot since I am pretty damned anxious for this surgery!!

When we had that rash of divorce posts a few weeks ago I brought up the issue with him. He told me he secretly fears me finding him unwanted when I lose the weight. I asked about his love for me and if he felt it might change when i lose the weight as well. He explained that what he fell in love with was not my body. His appreciation for my body came after his appreciation for the rest of me. My intelligence, experience, personality, love and respect. My body, no matter what its size or shape, was just a bonus part of the package. He loves my body now, I am in proportion and very hourglass (I can make this whale of a body look sexy when I need to LOL) but he knows, as well asI do, that he will love the thin me even more.

His honesty in this dicussion is what made me realize that he was 100% behind me, without fail or stumble, and would see me through any complication, down side, flappy boob and tummy skin, and scar stage. I wouldnot do something like this without his support, and it feels so good to know I have it.

[dawg 0]

I was initially reluctant about the surgery, primarily on the grounds of hating the idea of someone sawing my wife's stomach open.

After giving it a lot of rational thought, I decided the risks of me losing my wife in surgery were far less than a weight related premature death. So I gave my full support for the procedure.

I don't have any concerns about her leaving me, and if she gets unwelcome attention, then whoever wants to hit on her, will have to do it with me hitting them

I guess it came to (for me):

Do you want a slim healthy wife, or no wife at all from an obesity related premature death?

I think 'no brainer' covers that

[HeatherGurl 0]

I don't have any concerns about her leaving me, and if she gets unwelcome attention, then whoever wants to hit on her, will have to do it with me hitting them

You sound like my DH!

[Kryssa 1]

My DH was nice about it. He said do whatever you think is best but I don't want to hear about the details. He still doesn't want to talk about it, even 20 weeks after surgery. He is considerate of my needs and problems and he even helps shop for appropriate foods, but he won't go to the dr with me. We DID talk about the divorce thing; he says he is a bit insecure (why would I settle for him if I had options?!?!), but that it is his problem and not to worry about it. So I worried and try to reassure him. Lately, as my weight refuses to budge past a 10 lb loss, he has calmed down considerably. I try not to be annoyed. Really.

[lapbander081004 7]

Men are just the greatest people on earth.

[lawdawg18 0]

I have been lurking for a few months reading up for my wifes band. I figured I would go ahead and post to this topic. We have talked about banding several times in the past, I have always been very supportive but she changed her mind for whatever reason. Back in January she decided to have it done, and sure enough Feb 17 we went to Mexico (with her mom and dad both of them got banded also) and she got her band. Of course we were both worried about the risks that come with any type of surgery, but the risk of being over weight are very real also. I have been sooo proud of her the past few weeks. She has been very serious about her foods. I alway check on her making sure she has proper food at her work, making her smoothies, checking to see that she feels good, and such. She has begun to go to the gym and do some mild cardio and is planning on starting with some weights in the next few weeks. I tell her daily that she looks great (of course I told her she looked great everyday before surgery) and, I can tell she is loosing. We cleaned out her closet, I can't wait to take her shopping!!!!!! PS. She has lost 25 pounds so far!!!:clap2:

[NJChick 3]

When I told my DH I was thinking about surgery his face lit up, I mean if he could have picked me up and ran around the house he would have. He was very excited because he knew how miserable I was and he wanted his wife to participate in life again.

He's been 200% supportive and tells me every day how proud he is of me.

[MyKdsDad 1]

Yes Mary, as soon as you give me what MsJoy gives me....*evil grin*

[mrycrltn 2]

Randy,

COME ON!!!!!!!!

Great post guys, and girls. Keep them coming.