What do husbands think

[mrycrltn 2]

I was just reading another thread, and I didn't want to hijack from that thread, so I started my own.

My husband didn't want me to get the band because he was worried that I would lose weight and dump him. We had that conversation for the longest time before I was banded, and also after. I told him that I love him, and I was doing it for me. But, since I have had it done, and have lost weight, we really don't talk about it anymore. He has yet to say, Hey you look like you've lost weight, or you look great. It does hurt my feelings at times because we can be around friends and they will say it. I have asked him about it, and all he has said is you looked great before you had it done, so I don't feel the need to tell you anything.

Has anybody else had this happen, or had any other success stories?

[HeatherGurl 0]

My husband is 6'-4" and averages 315lbs. He is ALL muscle except for a little belly. Well, it is a big belly, but he is a SOLID guy. He didn't want me to have the band at first, because he thought I would have this surgery and fail like I failed all of my diets before. (he wasn't being rude, just realistic) In the end, he told me that it was my choice and he would support me any way he could...

Now with me 50 pounds lighter... I have more energy and I love to cook treats for him... he keeps saying that I am trying to fatten him up so I will look even smaller than him. It is the current running joke in the house.

He is SO excited about my weight loss and he just loves every minute of it.

He has always told me I am sexy and all that stuff... (even at 365lbs) but now I know it. He helps me reach my goals and treats me when I get there.

Right now, we are planning a night on the town when the scale says 275... only 4 pounds away!!! It gives me something to work for.

I will pretty soon be smaller than I was when we started dating and he said he is going to feel like he is having an affair since I am changing so much!

[Paulax 8]

Good topic, I have wanted to talk about this.

I have a very loving husband who loves me just the way I am. He doesn't want me to have this surgery but won't stop me. I honestly don't know why he feels this negative about it. I think he just wishes I could do it on my own. You know, if you don't have the problem it is hard to understand kind of thing.

I feel really bad that he is not supportive, but not enough to cancell my surgery July 14th. I told him I also wished I was one of the 1% who could lose significant amount of weight and keep it off. That if it was as easy as eating a little less and exercising a little more, I'd have done it and kept it off YEARS ago.

I too wish I didn't need to have a device planted in my internal organs to achieve what has escaped me my whole life, but this is the best option out there. I am 42 years old now, if I don't do it now, when am I going to do it.

I told him that I feel I will be a healthier person down 90 pounds. I have heart disease and diabetes in the family.

But still, it hurts me that my life partner wishes I would cancel. I have been with him since I was 18 years old. Really, he has seen me struggle an gain, struggle and gain. That is what is hurting my health. I have just gotten progressively heavier with each child and now as I enter premenopause, it is getting even harder.

I hope he comes around.

PS, my dh 'fights' with about 10 - 20 pounds. He seems to lose it as easy as giving up a few beers and playing hockey a few more times. So I guess he thinks that if I took exercise more seriously, I could control my weight better.

[mrycrltn 2]

Paula, I'm right there with you. My husband wanted me to do it myself. I'm 38 I told him, If I could do it myself, don't you think I would of done that 20 years ago.

[HeatherGurl 0]

Paula, I'm right there with you. My husband wanted me to do it myself. I'm 38 I told him, If I could do it myself, don't you think I would of done that 20 years ago.

This was my mom's hang up! And she should understand since she WAS overweight forever also. She did it on her own, so I should have been able to... lalalalala I think that is how my PCP feels, but he doesn't dare say a word. He is a BEAN POLE and obviously has never been fat or even chubby!

[mrycrltn 2]

Heather my mom said the same thing also. I think it is just one of those things that everybody has to put there 2 cents into.

[Paulax 8]

Heather my mom said the same thing also. I think it is just one of those things that everybody has to put there 2 cents into.

Which is why, I am not telling the world about my plans. I don't want to hear everybody's 2 cents :huytsao

[Desi80 1]

My husband has been very supportive. We joined the gym together, we work out together, he's real good about what foods i can and can't eat.

He of course was worried that i might die on the operating table, that i would some how "change" but so far the surgery has brought us closer i think.

[HeatherGurl 0]

Which is why, I am not telling the world about my plans. I don't want to hear everybody's 2 cents :huytsao

If I could turn back time, I would have only told my hubby.

Some people just don't get it...

Oh, my favorite is ... "That is the easy way out" What is easy about not getting to eat whatever you want whenever you want?

[vinesqueen 2]

My husband is the one that suggested that I get the band.

[Marimaru 7]

I'd thought about weight loss surgery, but never mentioned it to my fiancee, because I didn't have a means to even try and get it (no insurance, no money). My mom and I were talking about someone we knew who had the bypass, and I told her about the band. She said "you should do that, I'll pay for it". So I called my fiancee that night and told him I was having it done. The first words out of his mouth were "you should do whatever is going to make you happy".

I never did get him to tell me what he really thought, lol. But he never went back on that. We did have some issues with him being worried that I would lose weight and decide that I didn't need to 'settle' for him anymore. I told him that he talked to me when I was at my highest weight and I didn't need anyone who was only talking to me because I was thinner.

[LBdancer 0]

Initially I didn't even tell my DH that I was going to a WLS seminar because I was sure he would disapprove and try to talk me out of it. Surprise...!! The night I returned from the seminar and showed him the Inamed booklet and told him all the GOOD things the band had to offer his reply was: "I think it's a wonderful idea. If you want to do this, I'll support you 100%". **Wow! And he's been a sweetheart ever since. Even with all my weight gain over the last 27 years he's never once complained or told me I needed to lose weight. The two of us together are like Jack Sprat and his wife. He's 6'3" and weighs maybe 200 lbs soaking wet...while me on the other hand at 5'2" and ....well over 200 lbs - we're a sight. I'm so looking forward to becoming a much smaller wife for my 'long tall drink of water' husband. As husbands go... I'm blessed - he's wonderful and I know that he is concerned over my health - if he wasnt' he would't have agreed so easily. He's watched me struggle with this practically my whole life.

So anyway...that's my story.

[JanetC 2]

When I first learned about the band at work, Mikey's reaction was, "I love you as you are. It's surgery. It's dangerous. Don't take the chance." He was of course thinking of gastric bypass.

After much research, praying, talking, laughing, crying & hugging, he had his done first!

He's beyond supportive, even when he had ZERO gas pain & I was whining worse then a 2-year-old. We're excited-scared of the changes that the band will bring... and totally psyched to see what they'll be, if that makes any sense.

At least we're changing together! Marriage rocks!

[Mikey 0]

Yes it does!

[mrycrltn 2]

Ya'll our so sweet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!