Are You Going To Tell Anyone About Your Surgery???

[Holly Dolly 575]

ok, when I first had my lapband surgery and had to take a 6 week emotional eating class there was a lady who did not tell anyone except for her husband. And she did say it was from fear of her failing. Well, over a year later I am friends with her on Facebook and I see her looking exactly the same. I feel like she set herself up for failure from the beginning. I'm not saying you have to tell the world, but you need to go into this surgery KNOWING it is going to be successful for you if you follow the rules. I feel like having people know at work helps keep me accountable to myself. It also helps that I work for my brother and he had it done a year before me!

[Bel12 13]

I plan on telling everyone and anyone. I have not been banded yet but I have told 3 friends brother sister and parents I'm thinking about it. My mom wants me to start a blog take before and after pics and send out a big family/friend email. I'm not going to do that until I know for sure my insurance is in line and I'm approved for surgery. But I went to te seminar last night and almost came home to make a Facebook post but didn't haha I'm turning in my paperwork today. I'm very open with my life an I don't care who knows stuff about me. If they are goin to judge me then I'll say goodbye to them. I think it will be great to have the support and not have to explain to my family why I only had a couple bites at Xmas or something. But I think everyone is different and you should do what is comfortable for you

[Dibley Dawn 84]

To tell or not to tell...that is the question

Just because you tell anyone and everyone doesn't mean you will be successful and have support or feel motivated, and just because you don't tell anyone doesn't mean you are setting yourself up for failure or that you can't be successful. It's a personal decision that only you can make and your reasons for telling or not telling are neither the right thing nor are they the wrong thing to do.

I have only told 2 people, my husband and a very dear friend who is super skinny and a size zero. Nobody else knows. I didn't tell anyone else for several reasons. 1. because it isn't anyone else's business. 2. I already have enough people watching food go into my mouth and I didn't mentally want the extra scrutiny or comments from even well meaning friends. 3. my goal with the lap band wasn't to lose tons and tons of weight. my goal is simply to eat like a normal person.

I am very social and now when i go out with friends, i eat the same portions and the same types of foods they do. I eat normally. I'm not on a diet, even though i try to get plenty of Protein first, I don't restrict myself from eating specific types of foods. I do eat healthy things the majority of the time, but when I go out, I enjoy myself the way a normal person would enjoy themselves. I feel great, I am losing weight, and no one is any the wiser that i've had a procedure done.

as for people asking me if i've had something done, no one has, so i haven't had to lie or make things up. I don't feel that if a plus size friend asked me my advice on having any type of procedure done that it is my place to encourage them to go for it. I had to come to this decision on my own, weigh the pros and cons, seek my doctor's advice, do research on my own. I don't want to influence one of my friends to do something like this just because I might be successful. Not everyone will be. We are all different and someone's success or failure based on something i have said to them is too much of a burden for me to want to carry.

So, for now, I'm not telling anyone about it. Like the lady with the good advice earlier in the thread said, once you tell someone, you can't un-tell them. When and if I ever tell anyone, I'll cross that bridge, but for now, I'm just enjoying my life as a normal person, eating normally.

[lovex5 25]

Are any other secret keepers interested in a private Facebook group?

[difa 114]

me

[tomosia 12]

I don't plan on lying if asked, but I don't plan on volunteering information either. I've told my sister, because I know she'll help keep me accountable. I would love to join a private Facebook group. And I will probably tell more people as time passes. I'm still in the 3 month dr. supervised weight loss program, so I will see how I feel once I have the surgery about telling others.

[lovex5 25]

i'm not sure how to make the group to be sure it's private. does anyone want to make it then we can all request invites? i belong to a fb support group that have all had wls and it's completely private..i believe several of them have not told friends/family etc and no one can see our posts. i love the support but most of them have had sleeve or rny from what i can tell. would be awesome to get support from other lapbanders!

[tomosia 12]

Ok I think I know how, tell me your Facebook name and I'll add you. I'm caling it LBT Friends.

[lifebegins2012 21]

Hi. Once I'd booked my consult and op date I planned on only telling one of my sons(as he still lives at home) and one sister( who I was going to be relying on for a lift to the hospital). I got excited. I brought the dates forward and told my family and collegues at work one by one- about 14 altogether-even our lovely cleaning lady!!

At work it was amusing as I swore people to secrecy and they only knew one or two other people were also sworn to secrecy so there was no gossiping. Now I've had surgery everyone has been supportive and ask how it's all going.They are curious.

There are two people who haven't chatted much so I wondered if they see it as cutting corners to lose weight but I was really pleasantly suprised when one of the two ladies offerred me her size 14's as she's lost weight and is determined to stay at a size 12. She wears lovely clothes so this could be a treat (not that I'll be able to wear them for a while).

I'm generally quite open and didn't want to lie to people but I haven't told friends who I only meet up with once in a while. I want the buzz from their reactions.

This surgery has cost me thousands of pounds and a social life for the next year or so (while I pay it off). I plan on giving myself a pat on the back with every pound and inch lost. I need to be careful tho... 2 days ago I called to pick a friend up and her partner came out to the car. He asked how I was doing and almost instinctively I went to lift my blouse up to show him my scars. Oops!!! ;0)

[rebirth198 6]

I have chosen to only tell a few supportive people. I told everyone else I had" lady part" surgery. Since everyone knows and is waiting for me to haver first baby, ultimately future pregnacy plans are a part of mt decision. I just didn't think people would get that thus choice wasn't about vanity. I just want to be a better me. it's no ones business what steps I take todos me happy.

[Fatsince4ever 6]

I'm just choosing to do this on my own. I've been fat on my own I've been depressed ion my own I've been unhealthy in my own and I'm paying for this surgery on my own. I've decided to put my foot down and do something about it. I'm not saying you all don't know how I feel but when the majority if your friends are fat and their not trying to change you just have to do it on your own. I'm eating better going to the gym and broke up with my boyfriend. I'm 25 it's time for me to start living.

[Thamm 46]

If y'all have a group of create a group please let mr know so I can join. Thanx in advance

[Jackie's girl 32]

The problem that I had when I told people who are larger than me who are not doing anything about their situation with weight, was that it made them uncomfortable, but I am hoping in the long run it inspires them. I told my family and close friends. No one else mainly because this is personal business that I am treating just like I would anything else that is personal. Once I have reached goal and maintained, I will tell people who are asking becasue they want more info about it, not just becasue they are in my business.

[BLING78 0]

I completely understand! I have only told the people I trust and rely on about my decision. My pre-op nurse did give me some

handy suggestions. I work with the general public, and she mentioned when they come in to see me, they will be the ones

to notice the difference in my loss. She suggested that if they were to ask, to leave it simply as "I am working with my family

practitioner in better choices etc."

She said for people who don't tell those who Don't understand why you're shrinking, may assume you are sick, or diagnosed with a disease etc.

and then therefore feel sorry for you and want to offer their own "support" by bringing casseroles, and Cookies as comfort.

I've actually seen people do that to a previous co worker of mine years ago, and she ate what they brought out of guilt.

My plan is to state that I've laid off of sodas, take up walking and easy exercise, Portion Control etc. No more, no less. Besides,

it's not like it a complete lie! I'd rather say that and live by it, letting those around me know I have CONTROL.

[latisanava 12]

im very big and ive told everyone,most of em have been very curious and ill answer them,i am a lil scared of failure but ppl think what they want anyways i just want them to know i am trying and thats what counts