Don't Want To Be A Nag...

[Jenn1214 120]

My fiance was banded on February 15th. From the start I feel like he's pushed the guidelines a little too far. He eats too fast, his portions are too big, doesn't read food labels, drinks his calories, and eats a lot of soft foods that. He definitely needs a fill but his surgeon won't do it unless he's not losing weight. I try to set the best example I possibly can and tell him tips and tricks that have helped me along my journey, but it seems like he's always challenging the band and doesn't listen. I am afraid once he starts getting fills, all these bad habits will lead to problems down the line. How can I help him get on track without being a pain in the rear end? I feel like no one responds well to nagging, and I know I can't MAKE him follow the rules, I'm just concerned for his well being.

[DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703]

Unfortunately, you can't do anything other than what you're already doing, set a good example. It's got to be frustrating the heck out of you, but just like the decision to be banded was his so will be the choice to change his eating habits.

I don't understand why his doctor won't give him a fill, though. I mean, you can lose weight and still not be at restriction. I lost weight before I had a fill but it was by sheer will power. Maybe he should specifically ask for one, explaining that despite losing weight he can and is eating too much?

Granted we're all different, but there's also a chance once he gets restriction that will force some better eating habits on him. I mean, if he eats too fast or doesn't chew enough and ends up with a minor stuck episode, that discomfort will teach him pretty dang quickly to slow down and chew better. Same thing goes if he's taking too big a bite.

He's lucky to have you. Hang in there

[azhoselady 17]

Hi Jenn1214, I am new here and haven't had a lot of personal experience but, I have been a life long dieter and if I had used them as a tool and took it to heart I might not be here today. I agree that nagging him will probably not help get the result you are hoping for. I have been looking on this board a lot and I have seen post about things going wrong. I have a friend who just got re-banded after 5 years due to a slip. It is her fault and she knows it. She has ate around her band for years. She lost 80lbs and yet she drinks diet soda like a crazy women. Hit McDonald's almost everyday and continues to eat ice cream. She also traded her food addiction for prescription drugs and is very luck to be alive. This was a wake up call for her she was very sick. Her Doctor told her he would try to do the surgery but if she has any other issues, she is done. The fear of gaining all that weight back seems to have put her on the right course. Does he read these boards? Maybe just sharing some of the scary stuff will help him. For me seeing good habits and support work great. I also just wanted to say hi to you and tell you look amazing! Way to go girl!

[Lose100 178]

He WILL learn the hard way. Once he gets a fill, he will have more restriction in his band. After he vomits a few times, he start doing better. I know that you are concerned but nagging will get you no where. Just continue being a good example and be supportive if he does vomit.

[bev712 28]

If you nag him when he doesn't yet have the filled band as a tool, you'll just add to the stress that may be contributing to his overeating. Just back off and give him time to adjust to the whole experience. My S.O. and I both overate when we didn't have enough fills. Perfectly normal. Without enough fill it's like not having had the surgery. It can be very anxiety-provoking if you don't understand what's going on. I agree, he'll learn.

[Joyce Real 21]

If he is still losing, he doesn't need nagging or a fill. The doctor will fill his band when he stops losing the weight. He will also learn what he needs to as time goes on too. You are wonderful to be supportive, but you can't unlearn bad habits for him. He will have to tackle that one on his own. It will all happen in due time. You know this is a process and it takes time.