Feeling Defeated...

[DaBlockzPRbabii 30]

i had surgery in 2009 started off fine lost 40 lbs within the first 4 months i was excited! in Novemeber of 2009 i moved to nyc (from MA) i lost insurance and everything went down hill! i stayed steady at my weight 230. Got my insurance and looked for a new DR and no one wanted "someone elses bander" in March of 2010 i found out i was Pregnant Gained normal pregnancy weight climbed to 260. The last filled i recieved was in december of 2009.During my pregnancy i wasnt unfilled. December 2010 i gave birth to my first child healthy little girl!!

Finally in January after complaining of having trouble eating i was referred to a DR that would take me. She Did a swallow study and it showed that i have a dialated esophogus =0( i was never treated for my lapband during my pregnancy. i have about 4cc's in my band that i learned to eat around. Im not gaining besides the weight i gained while pregnant but not loosing either.

After 3 years in nyc i decided to move back to MA and am going to see my DR who banded me on April 19th.

Im ready to do what needs to be done i admit i cheated alot but have cut that out and started making healthier choices. In ny i was offered the option of switching to another form of surgery which i objected to. i love my band and it worked for me i guess im just wondering if theres any one out there who has dealt with or is dealing with this similiar dilemma? IS another surgery (bypass) the only option?!

I feel like a failure and feel ashamed that i have failed my lapband by neglecting it.

please feel free to get in contact with me i could use a buddy or two!

[Chicka 17]

I'm sorry to hear you didn't get the proper care. But i have heard that with the lapband you can just start over.

[SageTracey 608]

You say that you are not using your lapband at the moment so that should be your first action to kickstart your weight loss again - start using the tool that you have, that you know works and that you clearly know how to use, based on your previous success.

Don't jump into another surgery just yet.

Good luck.

[DaBlockzPRbabii 30]

I want to stick with my band i objected another surgery. Im having a hard time with over eating and skipping meals when im not hungry. Portion Control is way off and when i am hungry im extremely hungry! I know the difference between head hunger and actually being hungry... I stop eating just dont feel full. Any suggestions?

[KBME 1]

Hey girl, I can kinda relate to your "failure" feeling although our circumstances are different. I too started out doing great!!! I was down 42 lbs in just a few months and bought some new clothes to fit my changing body. I noticed that even though I was enjoying the feeling of weight loss success, I was starting to outsmart my band. Well needless to say I have gained back alot of the weight because I have just totally fallen off the wagon. I think maybe for me this could be ,in a very distorted way, a blessing though. I say this only because I have learned to hear what my body/band is telling me. At mealtime I can feel when I am satisfied (most of the time, choosing to ignore the feeling) and I feel "lighter" and more energetic when eating right. I have had several "stuck" episodes and have learned which foods will not work well for me. I made an attempt last month to get back ON THE WAGON and lost 4 lbs the first week then 3 the second week. Just make the decision to get back on the ball and listen to all the little signs you body gives you. It is super hard but you can do it. So we have felt like we FAILED, so what!!! That doesn't mean that we cant get back to it....it's not over, our bands dont have and expiration and we can use them whenever we want. JUST DO IT GIRL

[KellyGram 36]

Recommendations: If you don't have the book The Emotional First Aid Kit, get it. It provides help in dealing with emotional eating. The band is a tool for weightloss, but it isn't a substitute for tackling the reasons why we got fat. I have to stay on top of my foodie-impulses (which the band helps with) and make sure that I'm exercising in order to achieve and maintain a healthy weight. I've also used hypnosis to help with eating-as-self-soothing and to help re-program me to enjoy exercise.

I'm not a perfect eater, but I've developed some coping mechanisms and strategies to help me stay on track. I've learned how to handle cravings, for example. I know when to Re-direct and when to Relent. I know when to stop indulging (most of the time) and I know when to get rid of something tasty because I can't resist the temptation to keep indulging.

Redirect: This strategy starts with a question: Am I really hungry, or am I bored/nervous/upset? If the answer is yes, I really am hungry, then I try to redirect focus from the death-by-chocolate cake I am craving to a Protein or granola bar or a piece of fresh fruit--ie, to something healthier that tastes good, too. If the answer is no, I'm not hungry, I'm bored/anxious/whatever, then I redirect to an activity that gets my mind and/or body off the comfort-food focus. Depending on the craving and the reason, I may meditate to calm myself, or take a 5-minute yoga break, or go for a walk, do some weeding/chores, take a bath, masturbate, or take a time-out to touch base with what is really going on inside me (ie administer some emotional first aid).

Relent: Relent, for me, comes after multiple attempts to redirect. If I've eaten my healthy mandarin and I've done my chores and I've finished writing an email or whatever other tasks I've put to myself to in order to get my mind off the craving and I still want that cake (especially if I've craved it for a few days), I'll go buy a single-serving cupcake or something, both as acceptance of the craving, and as reward for the work I've done to earn it. If I absolutely have to have a slice of that $20 death-by-chocolate cake and they don't sell it by the slice, I'll buy it at the bakery, ask them to slice me a piece, and then give the rest away to the people working there, or as samples for their customers. (Yes, it raises eyebrows, but no one has refused me yet.) Then I relish my $20 piece of cake, eating it slowly, savoring every bite. I don't bring home more than one serving of a craved food anymore. It's too easy to say to myself, "Oh, I'll bring this whole cake home and share it with my family" and then end up eating more than one serving because I don't want it to go to waste or because it is just that good.

I suppose I should have the self-discipline to be able to eat just one serving of something I crave and leave the rest alone for others or for another time, but I don't. And I am self-aware enough to accept that. I'm also self-loving enough to get over the whole self-sabotage / self-punishing thing for my supposed lack of will-power, no longer hating myself even as I am rewarding myself with a tasty treat. Today, I allow myself to eat that thing I really want, but just one small serving. And I give away or toss away the rest. I may feel a little foolish for eating what amounts to a $20 slice of cake -but- I figure that it's $18 worth of extra calories I'm not adding to my waistline, and given the work I have to do to take off just one pound, it's f-ing worth it.

Be kind to yourself. Work with your band. Good luck.