PB? Worse Experience of My Life!!!

[StrawartS 2]

Oh my god.

I had gone almost 3 months post-banding without what you people so lovingly call a "PB," and let me tell you, those two little words do not do the deed any justice. I kept reading about people throwing up and I wondered what the hell was wrong with you all. I would almost rather die than vomit, as I have a very sensitive gag reflex, and once I get started, I can't stop. I thought you had to be crazy to eat so much or so wrong that it came back up.

Oh, little did I know. Now, I've had the golfball. I get the golfball, in varying intensities, several times a week. I figured it was just first bite syndrome, and it would always pass by walking around or trying to wash it down.

Until last night. I was on the San Antonio River Walk with some friends, and we were having some appetizers and margaritas. All of a sudden, I got the worst golfball ever. No warning. I went to the bathroom to try to walk it off. I paced the bathroom for about 10 minutes, and my mouth was filling up with slime. And then I threw up. It was mostly slime, and only a tiny amount of food. The most impressive part to me was that the slime came out in a 9 inch diameter BUBBLE! Like when you're using that string and wand thing and blowing bubbles! Crazy. If I didn't feel like such total shit I would have examined it more closely.

I thought I was better, and someone was trying to come into the bathroom, so I returned to my seat. I still had pressure in my chest, but nothing too bad. A few minutes later, the excrutiating golfball returned. We got up to leave, and I thought the walk back to the hotel would clear it.

But no. The more I walked, the more painful it became, and my mouth continued to fill with slime. Finally, I couldn't stand it, and I ran into the nearest restaurant to use the bathroom. Or, what I thought was a restaurant. It was actually some sort of bar that was checking IDs. I tried to hurry past the guying yelling "Ma'am!" until he manhandled me. I was at once flattered that I looked younger than 21 and terrified that I might vomit on this lovely young man. I turned to him and urgently whispered "I'm going to vomit. Please let me use your bathroom." If I have learned anything about men, it is that they are most afraid of a crazy bitch...especially a crazy bitch about to throw up.

I found the bathroom and immediately began vomiting. Another HUGE bubble. (Could I make money off this talent?) It is this vomiting session that I now consider the OFFICIAL WORST MOMENT OF MY LIFE. It was so painful, both in my chest and my pouch, and not at all PRODUCTIVE, like vomiting before the band was. Little chunks of food were coming up and getting stuck on the back of my tongue, making me gag and heave more.

Eventually, everything that was going to come up did, and I was left sobbing and shaking uncontrollably. And trying to rinse foot long slimes out of my mouth for the next five minutes.

Ok, so if you're still reading, a few observations:

1. Are you fucking kidding me? This has happened to you people more than once? My mom was banded a month before me, and I know that she has had this kind of episode on MANY occassions. I do not comprehend. Last night's situation has scared the pants off of me, and I have been eating VERY carefully today. I can honestly say that I would rather die than go through that again.

2. Are you telling me that I PAID for this? I should start another thread about the GIANT SCAM that is the lapband, but I'll be brief here. This was NOT in the power point presentation. The golfball was NOT ever mentioned to me. The imaginary feeling of fullness that doesn't register with your head was NOT ever acknowledged pre-banding.

3. Productive Burp? How about Excrutiatingly Painful Gagging Sliming Heaving Feels Like You're About to Die Vomitation? (EPGSHFLYADV) Seriously, the acronym is EXCEPTIONALLY deceiving. I had no idea what I was in for.

And, no, I'm not too tight. I've had this fill for a month, and have eaten much worse than I did last night. In fact, I ate half a pizza last week with no problems. Please don't judge me and tell me to eat Protein.< /p>

So, basically, I'm pissed, and I'm getting more pissed as I write this. I'm terrified of ever going through that again, and I'm angry that I was misled. I am convinced that this procedure is entirely experimental and will be contraindicated in about 10 years. And physiologically, it makes no sense. How can my pouch hold half a pizza one day and just a few bites another? I need a scientific explanation beyond "the band is finicky."

I know this isn't the right forum for I Hate My Band discussions, but maybe there are a few others like me lurking. Anybody?

[StrawartS 2]

P.S. Since you're probably curious, I'm filled to 2.5 cc in a 4 cc band, and no, I haven't lost a single pound post-op. Thanks for asking.

[StrawartS 2]

Ok, I'm really not trying to sound hostile. I promise. This is the one time that "it's not you, it's me" is really true.

[Dody 0]

I see no one has answered you. All I can say is OMG you poor thing. I'm not banded yet, but I've never read anything written with more definition, courage and humor. You have managed somehow above everything to keep your humor. I have heard of PB's (I'm not banded yet) and now you are making me think twice about it. I can't stand throwing up. I absolutely hate it, and I have no clue what happened to you, but bless your heart I certainly understand how you feel. I've never heard of a PB as bad as the one you describe, and trust me it was graphic , and my heart hurts for you. I would hate to go through this, and it would be embarrassing to be with people and have it happen. I hope come Monday morning you are going to contact your dr. I can only think maybe you need some of that fill taken out. I have no answers, but I wanted you to know someone hears you and cares. I would have been terrified and it seems you handled yourself gracefully given the horrible and terrifying sequence of events. God Bless You Sweetie and give your dr. a call. Vent if you want...you paid him...you earned it, and get some anwers to what happened to you.

Please follow up. I'm curious about what happened to you.

[StrawartS 2]

Ok, so it DOES sound crazy! Thank you, Dody! I have to hope that my incident is not what a typical PB is, otherwise...it's just torture! Why are we putting up with this side effect?

[Banded in KS 0]

First, I totally agree that...EPGSHFLYADV is a much better description than productive burp. I wonder who came up with that? Because my experiences, while LUCKILY only a few in 10 months, have been nothing like burps. I wish they had been.

Okay, first a suggestion. Carry some meat tenderizer or papaya extract with you where ever you go. I have never tried the papaya extract (I have heard it works), but the meat tenderizer works wonders!! Mix a little in a small amount of Water and swallow (a tsp or tbsp should be enough). In a few minutes, you will feel major relief!!!

Second, as you get fills in your band and reach the "sweet spot", you may have to make adjustments on eating choices. The last time I got something "stuck", it really freaked me out. It has made me really think about things that I eat. I think that is the whole point.

But, as you live with the band, you are going to find out what works for you. It is a very INDIVIDUAL learning process. Some people can't eat bread and others are fine with it. Some can't eat beef and for others that is a staple. It is hard to wrap your head around.

I definitely understand your feelings, but hang in there. I am sure you will find a way to live with your band in a way that works for you. Good luck!

[Feel2Young2B40 0]

OMG! First off, I want to say I'm sorry this happened to you and it is a terrible feeling. I usually go to liquids for at least the next meal after one of the Excrutiatingly Painful Gagging Sliming Heaving Feels Like You're About to Die Vomitation? (EPGSHFLYADV) episodes. EPGSHFLYADV has got to be added to the LBT dictionary.

But I was laughing so hard at your poignant description of the episode I was crying and my family came in to see what happened! :clap2:

I think this should be a sticky somewhere for all new bandsters. It has to be one of the best!

Funny how they never covered that in the power point presentations - I don't remember it either. What I use it as is a reminder I am not doing what I should - chewing well, eating something I KNOW I shouldn't. The band for me was a gate keeper to keeping me on track. Subtly reminding me I can't be trusted to my own devices. A constant reminder I need to keep an eye on what I am doing.

I know you don't want to hear it but the band is fickle. I notice during that special week in the month, mine tends to not like many foods since my last fill especially. It has a mind of it's own. I wish it would get on the same page as my head though.....

Keep plugging along - you'll do great!

[StrawartS 2]

Oh my goodness, I feel like I'm getting virtual hugs from every direction! I didn't expect such warm reception after my long-winded personal complaint session!

meat tenderizer - what an amazing idea! I'm sure it doesn't taste great, but I can vouch for the fact that the nastiest thing going down is better than a gourmet meal coming back up.

Wow...look how fast I got over that anger. I would have been the last person to think group support works. Thanks again, everybody!

[the best me 6]

OMGosh, I don't know whether to die laughing or cry with you! I know, I know, I know!!!

No, I'm not going to give you the "it's your fault" speech, or the "it's just that the bad is fickle" speech, just think here for a sec about the mechanics of the band.

Funnel. Some days the funnel is tighter than other days. bread is easy for me if it's well chewed. So I can see a 1/2 Totinos or the like pizza going down fine. I have 2cc in a 4cc band. I'm not too tight either. So you put food in that funnel and it flows slowly through. The heavier to food the slower it drains. Plus (and I have seen this on flouro) the upper part of the stomach still squeezes to get food down past the band. It doesn't just sit there idle waiting for your band to drain. It's important to keep that in mind as you are chewing. You can get a piece of food stuck in the funnel and stuff drains around it for a little while but it causes the golfball and if the area swells from irritation at all, you are in for more of what you had. I'm really sorry. The nine inch bubbles and the foot long slimes make me laugh, but it's very scary. I don't wish is on anyone! I read about all this stuff for months before my banding so my fisrt PB was scary, but Iknew what was happening.

You do know to go to liquids only for 24 hours after such a bad PB (or EPGSHFLYADV, as you say!), right? You are most certainly swollen and irritated and need to rest that band.

As for you weight loss, you really need to do some reading up around here to get some ideas about how to handle that. Frankly, I'm a little scared of you!! So if you have a question, ask, but I won't offer more than to say that when I allow more than 1 slice of pizza into my diet, I don't lose either. (ducking now to avoid the shoe, and then the other one).

Good luck. I know you will get some wonderful replies and I can't wait to read them!

[the best me 6]

Ok, so it DOES sound crazy! Thank you, Dody! I have to hope that my incident is not what a typical PB is, otherwise...it's just torture! Why are we putting up with this side effect?

Yours was a particularly difficult PB. Not all PBs are that painful and long lasting and dramatic. Please tell us what you were eating and drinking? And I like that thought that, especially after a fill, you really have to be careful because it changes all the rules of eating! And it IS very personal.

[StrawartS 2]

Haha...wait, I can't get away with saying how I ate half a pizza and then complaining about not losing any weight? You guys are smarter than I thought.

Ok, I take all the hostility back! I'll take any advice/tough love. I promise the pizza thing doesn't happen every day. It was the beginning of a hard freeze, and I couldn't drive on the black ice, and I didn't have groceries. (Do you buy that excuse? I can't come up with a better one.)

I know I probably need another fill. Even when I eat good food, I have to eat a lot to feel satisfied, or I get hungry again in an hour or two. I'm sure that will pass with a fill, but right now it's easier to blame the damn implant in my body rather than myself.

And, Kathy, the shoes are still sitting quietly by the door. I promise to keep them there.

[Kim_8 2]

Like everyone else, I'm really sorry about your experience!

But OH MY GAWD was that funny!

I read and read about PB's and slimes, and my counselor explained PB as bringing back up the food you just ate. I thought, oh that would be kind of disgusting - but totally and utterly painful - no, nobody ever really said it was this horrible. Even if they did - could anyone really ever explain it in words to make you believe it (until now ??) You rock!

I had the slime half of your experience. I really thought I was dying. If I feel the least little bit of an inkling that something has gone down the wrong way or gotten stuck, I quit eating and WALK, JUMP, RUN AND BURP. I NEVER want that to happen again!

EPGSHFLYADV - has got to be added to the acronym list! Thanks so much for the post - I've had a great laugh for the evening! Don't despair - I can't remember the pain of mine too much now - it's kind of like childbirth - you know it sucked really, really bad, but you did it again anyway because you seem to forget just how bad!

Kim

[StrawartS 2]

Ugh...I have to tell you what I was eating? Didn't you notice how I was cleverly avoiding that?

1. 3 barbeque chicken wings (I think they were breaded in addition to being covered in goop)

2. 2 spicy chicken wings

3. 2 jalapeno poppers (those fried, cream cheese filled gooey bundles of goodness)

4. maybe 4 fried mushrooms

5. margarita, baby!

See, Kathy, you keep blowing my cover! As you all sit here and say "And she wonders why she doesn't lose weight..."

Wow, this accountability thing kind of works. New rule - if you're too embarassed to admit that you ate it, maybe you should just have a carrot instead.

But...in my defense, I've eaten similar consistency foods with no problems before. That's what threw me off about this episode.

[the best me 6]

I have seen folks complain about having big time trouble with mushrooms, and another with Mozz sticks, similar, I'd say, to your Jap poppers. The wings were probably okay (goop is good!) if you chewed well.

So, yeah, it's probably what you ate, especially while talking and socializing. If I were out on the town, I wouldn't pass up much of that menu either! My bet is that what you ate (before your EPGSHFLYADV) is MUCH less than what you would have eaten pre-band, so one night out isn't gonna send your diet over the edge. Noone's gonna give you a hard time about a splurge on food. Unless, of course, you show up whining "I can't understand why I'm not losing!!!" and this is your menu most of the time.

Okay, time to get on track with your food choices. You'll just lose better that way. Plus, when you are banded and filled properly, it's soooo much easier to ignore the evil foods and choose the yummy healthy ones. You can do this!!!!

I agree, this PB description should win an award for sure. I'll giggle till bedtime about this one! Geez. That's a goodie!

[pugmum 0]

Wow, I was starting to freak out before you fessed up to what you actually ate before your traumatic event. LOL I become so frightened when I have to vomit that I will go to any length to avoid it. Hope you never have to go through that again!

Kelli