How Do You Deal With Negative Feedback From Family,friends,coworkers About Being Banded?

[ducker2010 17]

One thing people on this site have told me, which I've found to be really true, is that a lot of other fat people are really jealous inside. Even though they come off angry and judgmental at YOU it's really about THEM. I've become comfortable with my band and I don't mind telling people. If they have questions then I am more than glad to answer them. If they appear to be judging me then I just tell them simply, "Well, the band is not for everyone. I did what was right for ME." And then I leave it at that. Some people are haters and are just going to be that way.

Those same people are going to say bad things about you when you get thin too. They'll talk about how you are a binger or anorexic or whatever. They won't congratulate you but instead talk about how you look so sick. I think a huge part of this process is learning yourself and becoming comfortable with who you are no matter what stage of the process you are at.

Love yourself. No one else will do it as well as you do!

[johnnycantrock 71]

I told everyone and so far everyone that I've told has been supportive. My friends and family have watched me struggle for years and if this is the thing that helps me, they stand by it! Even my co-workers are supportive of my decision. They understand that my choice and it can only help me and all they do is encourage me!!

Let those who talk negative flap their gums and live your life!

[DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703]

I've told everyone, I'm not ashamed at all at making a decision to better my health and prolong my life. The majority of everyone has been very supportive, in fact my mom is now also considering it.

The very few who did make snarky comments about "being the easy way out" or how it's "unnecessary" I put them in their place fast. I simply said "Would you begrudge a diabetic from using an implanted insulin pump to better control their diabetes? Or if one day I can no longer walk without foot drop (I also have Multiple Sclerosis) will you look down on me for getting an electronic device to stimulate my leg to move? The Lap Band is no different, it's a tool to better my health and improve my quality of life".

As for the "easy way out" comments, I point out the fact I still have to make smart food choices the rest of my life. I also pointed out eating portions and bites the size of a toddler serving and having to chew everything 'til mush isn't exactly "easy". Nor is having to have my band checked and maintained by a surgeon the rest of my life. And giving up ALL carbonation for the rest of my life isn't exactly easy, either.

...that shuts up the naysayers pretty dang fast

[corilinn14 3]

I was banded this feb and to this day only my mom knows. People can tell I'm losing weight, but they also see the better food choices I'm making and that I talk about going to the gym. Part of me feels silly for keeping this secret, but I too am a very private person. This is only a tool (like exercising and eating right) and not a magic bullet. Lots of people just don't get that. People talk crap about you when you're big, they'll talk about you when you're skinny. The people who care about you won't ever. At least you know who they are now.

[judych 225]

I read every comment here and i can identify with all of them.

Ive only told my husband and my youngest daughter... even she is having difficulties coming to terms with it. In her eyes im supposed to be a ''tower of strength'' and an ''over comer'' with my weight. I have a son and an older daughter who just couldnt handle it at all..

I go to church ... i live in a small town and its a small congregation. i could share with my pastor what ive had done but no one else.

its really sad. In fact, it makes me feel a bit angry that people are so prepared to judge without having a clue.

Already, 17 days out, Im having success with pain going in my feet, swelling going in my feet and legs, my b/p is down by 15 systolic... and thats just the start.

And, whats more, it is NOT an easy way out. In fact, there is no easy way out when one is overweight. This is doing'' more the hard yards'' in my book than just straight out dieting. We cant just have an ''off'' day and eat normally.... not any more.

I think it takes a lot of courage and deep soul searching to come to the decision of lap banding. And, whats more , there are checks and balances in place to make sure that all surgery is legit.

Im sad that i cant share with all my family. There are going to be times when i sit down to a family meal and its obvious to everyone that Ive changed big time.

HOpefully by that time i will be back onto normal eating, in smaller portions, and that will be acceptable to them.

I cant wait for the weight loss.... so far ive lost about 15 lbs.. in 17 days. thats great for a start.

im having some issues with gastro pain, which i put down to bad decisions about introducing food.. and having milk, which i normally never have. All in all, this surgery has been harder on me than having my knees replaced, on many levels.

But, im so glad that i did it. I really am. Im a bit scared, but as time goes and i understand more how my body is going to work with the band, i will get more confidence. its without doubt the biggest decision ive made as far as surgery is concerned... and its the most life changing as well.

Sorry... ive written a book here... i just had to say....i fully agree with the posts here.

[Humming Bird 275]

I have told everyone from day one and in over 2 1/2 years have only heard one sort of negative comment.

I have dealt with negative comments from people throughout my life though. I have found the best way to deal with negativity is to let it roll off me like Water off a duck's ass. Be the duck! Life is too short to deal with negative stuff.

[deanne21 4]

I'm proud of myself! And of anyone else who's had wls !! I have had some people say I shouldn't of done it Im not big enough I should of done it in my own but quite clearly I CAN'T!!! And give me ten years and more weight goes on and more illnesses creep in ..... Wow what a life!!! To be honest I think people who give back bad feed back are narrow minded and probably gelous! Why should we not feel good and happy and most of all be healthy !!!! If they don't understand who cares there feedback really don't matter it's you that matters .

[Boniluuu 25]

I said I am doing it for myself. There are many reasons why and I can not get into it.

[Boniluuu 25]

I said I am doing it for myself. There are many reasons why and I can not get into it.

[carol285 145]

I have made NO secret of my weight loss surgery & I never intend to. It is only my opinion but if I treat it like a shameful secret that is what it will become. It has taken insurance companies years to start paying for this procedure and many still don't only feeding into the negative image of WLS! I was banded in October 2010 and am currently like 60% done my weight loss. I had some personal life struggles that slowed me down but I am now back on track and moving forward. I was concerned about the negative feedback and I certainly got some along the way but so the f%@k what, there will always be idiots in this world who know not what they are talking about. Let them enjoy their feelings of superiority while we enjoy the true superiority of defeating our weight issues with our new best friend the Lap Band lol!!!

[superluli 17]

What annoys me is how people make you feel like you are getting rid of the plague by losing weight! It gets so condescending! They try to compliment you by telling you how awful you looked previously? That's supposed to make me feel better?

Yes yes being fat is bad for you but it's not the worst thing in the world! You will still be the same person when you lose weight. You won't be a better person!

Sorry, just venting!

[superluli 17]

And to respond to your original post, when people tell me it's the easy way out I jokingly respond 'well I can't be good at EVERYTHING I do! Something's gotta give'

I totally own up to the 'easy way out' thing and say well if I can find something that makes my life easier why not cut myself some slack? Would you refuse to buy a microwave coz it's the easy way out of using the stove to heat your food? If you can have a friggin microwave why settle for a stove

[Jen75 33]

And to respond to your original post' date=' when people tell me it's the easy way out I jokingly respond 'well I can't be good at EVERYTHING I do! Something's gotta give'

I totally own up to the 'easy way out' thing and say well if I can find something that makes my life easier why not cut myself some slack? Would you refuse to buy a microwave coz it's the easy way out of using the stove to heat your food? If you can have a friggin microwave why settle for a stove [/quote']

This made me laugh!!! I might use it sometime!!! Thank you!

[VioletC 5]

I have two responses...1 for men and 1 for women.

Men- I made the decision to get healthy and start really living my life, by ANY means necessary. It so happens that surgery is that means.

Women- when looking at my history of being morbidly obese I knew something had to change. I consider myself a very strong woman but consider Oprah. Powerful, brilliant and can afford to have a person chef, trainer etc. If she can't keep the weight off, what makes me be confident I will be able to with help??

[Tanya_cotto 5]

I've told my parents, sister and an older cousin

(who is also overweight).

Sadly, the only one who has not told me that i took the easy way out (Mom)or that i'm not loosing fast enough (dad) or that i'm not going to succeed (sister) has been my older cousin since we have both had weight struggles all of our lives.

The few friends i have told have been surprisingly supportive and even know of more people my age (24) that have had the surgery.

In the end in know that i did this for me,

so that one day i can be healthy and not have to shop at specialty stores

or be concerned when i'm dating, or getting ready to start a family.

I still have issues with self doubt, but i'm working threw them.

=)