How Do You Deal With Negative Feedback From Family,friends,coworkers About Being Banded?

[JanellesMommy8210 8]

Hey guys. I am recently banded. I had my surgery on March 28th. I am already down 12 pounds so far!! MY starting weight was 250. I am now 238. I like it so far but I have been noticing that my family and friends are saying things like, I shouldnt keep it in forever, Its a cheat blah blah blah. How do you deal with the negative comments without getting discouraged?

[Passionatehrt 15]

Great topic...I get banded on the 12th and Im wondering the same thing. So far the people I told have been supportive but those I havent told Im expecting opposition. Ive been overweight all my life...really...if this helps me lose weight then be happy for me and be supportive. I dont have time to deal with jealous or ignorant people.

[NWgirl 574]

I chose not to tell many people for that particular reason. No one else other than you knows the struggles you've had with your weight. I would ignore them if at all possible and let them see how happy you are as you lose weight. Also, remind them the band is meant to stay in forever- I personally have been on many diets and lost some weight, only to regain if back + some. With the band, you won't be doing that.

[Cocoabean 430]

When I was told, oh you don't need that.... my response really? Well, thanks for thinking so, but my doctors disagree.

Easy way out? So...If I needed cardiac bypass surgery or be miserable and at risk of a heart attack, I should not take the medically proven treatment to get better? I need a kidney transplant, once becomes available, but I should not accept it because dialysis is fine and a transplant is the easy way out?????

Many in our society see obesity as a sign of laziness, not a of medical condition. So, I don't "deserve" to get well? I don't deserve to get my blood pressure under control? Or my blood sugar. I don't deserve to avoid losing limbs to diabetes?

Easy way out? I have to eat carefully for the rest of my life. For the rest of my life, I will have an implanted medical device inside me that I need to be concerned about. Having yearly tests to be sure all is well. So, by having abdominal surgery, wrapping a ring around my upper stomach that will forever change my relationship with food. It has also changed my relationship with my husband, and will some friends.

I have taken the easy way out. Easy way out from what? Endless diet attempts that all end up in the same place? With me heavier that I was before it began? My joints hurting worse as I put more pressure on them. Taking meds for blood pressure, cholesterol, and a couple years from diabetes.

I say, it might not have been the right choice for you, but after all my research, it was for me. Thank you for your concern.

(crawling off my soap box now)

[Toddy 758]

I told VERY FEW people and was very careful about who I told. One friend that I particularly thought wouldn't be supportive, I ended up having to tell because I was at dinner with her one night very shortly after a fill and, careful as I was, I got "stuck". Anyway, after trying to lead up to an explanation of what I had done (all the while trying to fight that stuck feeling: eyes watering, hand on my chest, halting speech) that when I finally got it out about the lap-band surgery, she was so relieved that it wasn't cancer or something equally as horrible, that she started crying! She also told me that she had looked into wls a couple of years ago and chickened out, but now she was so happy for me that she's going to look into it again -- even after witnessing a stuck episode!!

[loreebyrd 5]

I tell everyone. I am so happy. I have tried my whole life, always knowing I felt different. I feel so great that at 44 I am positive I am making the right decision for me. For once I am confident of something and I know it is the right thing to do. I can take every negative you have. I have also lost 12 pounds during pre op and surgery is Monday morning and I actually have energy! My worst critic my sister in law. Who is also heavy. Smokes drinks and parties at 50, and has all the accompanying health issues. She said. B---ch I'll hate you if you got skinner Than me. I just say sorry and I am so excited. So I guess my feeling is be proud you are making the right decision for you and smile.

[zinhaa 363]

I agree with coco.

I told only a few people.

People talk about wls as the easy way out all the time.

Well i stopped listening cause the only way you can think of it as easy is if your ignorant.

I just keep looking down at my clothes and see how much better i look and feel and realize it was the right decision for me.

Honestly I haven't worked harder in my weight lose ever

They just don't get it.

Your choice is to either educate them with documentation or decide you know best for your body and are happy with your choice and then ignore them.

Keep your head help high

Good luck

Wendy

[justathing2me 146]

Good for you loreebyrd! I have told my friends, family and several co-workers. I'm not ashamed of doing what is right for me! One of my co-workers said to me "Oh, you're still going to do that?" and one of my friends spoke up and said "If you knew her, than you would know that once she sets her mind to something, she's doing it!" It's that comment that has stuck with me and it will after surgery. This is my decision and I know it is the right choice for me.

[marketingdude 79]

I've wrestled with this also.... is I live in a small rural area and people GOSSIP all the time. Not to mention...my wife and I go to church (very small church of 15 people)and people can be "religious" when it comes to things like this and treat you as a second class citizen...like its UnGodly or you should lead "by example"....and what message are you sharing with other people if you get weight loss surgery.

[marketingdude 79]

All in all, I'm going to tell my parents and (maybe) my pastor but that is it. Eventually people are going to know and talk about your weight loss. So eventually the truth will come out.

One thing is my brother got the lapband and he went from 429lbs to 165lbs. It won't take people long to figure out that I got it too. The only thing about telling my brother...is he is the biggest blabber mouth there is and the whole state of Illinois will know 2 weeks after telling him.

[MandaC 9]

Ive told everybody!! My family and friends and coworkers, but I'm very blessed cause everyone has been very supportive of my decision to have lap band! And as far as those that say it is a "easy way out" I'd like to punch them in the face!! It is in no way easy matter of fact it was one of the toughest decision I've ever made. My point is I'm proud of myself for the decision I made to have lap band and I usually don't listen to the negative!

[Jen75 33]

Ive told everybody!! My family and friends and coworkers' date=' but I'm very blessed cause everyone has been very supportive of my decision to have lap band! And as far as those that say it is a "easy way out" I'd like to punch them in the face!! It is in no way easy matter of fact it was one of the toughest decision I've ever made. My point is I'm proud of myself for the decision I made to have lap band and I usually don't listen to the negative![/quote']

Me too!!! I told everyone except my sister... (she's the one who called me a 300 lb bag of **** who gets everything I want) felt she didn't deserve to be apart of my accomplishments. Other then that, it has kept me accountable and I have had a lot of support! People who don't understand and ask me "why" or say "you don't need it" (they didn't see me at my highest weight!) I just educate them. In my experience, people who are negative about it are either jealous or uneducated....

[ducker2010 17]

At first my husband and I didn't tell anyone I had it done. We didn't want people to lecture us on why I shouldn't have the surgery done. But after the surgery, when I got healed, I began to tell people. I have no problem telling people now. I had only one "friend" say mean things. They were so incredibly hateful I ended the friendship. Other than that we've told pretty much everyone now. No one has been out and out rude. Some just "don't get it". My sister in law has weighed like 98 pounds soaking wet her entire life. She has no concept of being overweight and what it involves. She always tells me I should just "eat less". If only it were that easy. But she's not mean. She's just an ignorant skinny person. As long as people aren't mean I can deal

[1shauna1 129]

I feel bad that you are dealing with such negativity....that this is a "cheat", etc. Anyone who's had difficulties losing weight would disagree. And it's definitely NOT a cheat, as you still have to eat healthy and exercise. All I can say is, I'd be careful who I would tell as you don't necessarily know what responses you'll get. Hopefully those that care about you will be supportive.

[MandaC 9]

Me too!!! I told everyone except my sister... (she's the one who called me a 300 lb bag of **** who gets everything I want) felt she didn't deserve to be apart of my accomplishments. Other then that' date=' it has kept me accountable and I have had a lot of support! People who don't understand and ask me "why" or say "you don't need it" (they didn't see me at my highest weight!) I just educate them. In my experience, people who are negative about it are either jealous or uneducated....[/quote']

Yeah a lot of people that ask me about it are just curios as to how it works. And I don't mind telling them and answering any questions they have. Sorry about your sister Jen. My sister is super skinny too always has been!! I got all the fat genes in the family:) but she is very supportive and happy for me. I actually think she was more excited than I was when I first told her I was getting lap band.