Question - Body Image

[mauraclegg 29]

I don't really know what mine "looks lilke" either Dulci.. my friend, sister and I all wear the same size, but I swear they look so much smaller than I do. So I seem to just be stuck on my "fat" image

[judych 225]

My Exwife explaned it good to me after she lost weight from gastric bypass surgery 13 years ago. She said she will always be a fat person and she sees herself as such. She said that she still dreamed about all the foods she enjoyed she aslo said when she looked in the mirror she still saw the fat woman in herself.

Now that I have gone through this Lap Band I understand where she came from cause I see it somewhat the same way! As did She I get compliments all the time but I just don't see it!

as i read these posts i cant help but wonder. how long have you all have these weight issues?? has it been for the most of your life?? if it has then the mindset does have some renewing to do. i suggest you start speaking out loud to yourself. its not stupid, the power of words is a fact, as we know. start speaking positive words so your own ears can hear it. keep re enforcing it. ive been overweight for about 25 years... severely overweight plus unhealthy for the last ten. i can remember what it was like to look and feel really good. i also have a beautiful pic of both my hubbie and myself on the shelf in my room where i can see it. its a very flattering pic but most of all i see the health just shining from my face. I think that time also is a great healer, and thank the Lord for loving friends who are brave enough to be honest. family members as well. sometimes we need their positive input.

[Jachut 487]

I still struggly with buying clothes too big. DH reckons i have a great ass when I wear jeans that arent a size too big but when I wear ones that fit, I feel like theres rolls of blubber escaping everywhere, whenatentky, at a BMI if 20, there arent.

[jennifer1 180]

this is the mental part of weight loss that i wasnt prepared to deal with...or really even thought about. i still almost have a panic attack when i go clothes shopping and dont have to go to the plus sized section. i'm so focused on thinking that people are looking at me like why are you in that section knowing you cant fit anything there. i'm just a little away from my goal, but now that i see i still look like a big girl to me i may be changing my goal from a 12 to an 8..ugh...will i ever be satisfied and not look at myself as the fat girl! ugh!

[betheboo 40]

I hear u there! I always think to myself "if a stranger were to describe me would they say I'm a bigger girl still?" Granted I'm a 14 & do still have a good 30 lbs to get to goal.

[judych 225]

CONGRATS on your success!!! I was banded 5-24-2010, lost 71 lbs and have been at my "goal" weight for about a year. I am just now getting comfortable with wearing my new size of clothes! My husband (who has never been overweight in his life) really couldn't understand that I still think of myself as fat. But I've been working very hard at getting past that.

Whenever I start having "fat thoughts", I stop and say to myself things like "a fat person doesn't wear size 4 jeans!". I've also been "forcing" myself to dress thin...tuck my shirt into my jeans, etc. Also do something you never used to think of doing because "only skinny people can do that".

It's kinda hard to do (makes me feel vain) but DO look in the mirror...alot...and tell yourself how good you look! Sometimes it helps when I'm sitting in a chair and I notice that I don't take up as much and/or "hang over" like I used to. Thinking thoughts like this WILL get easier (I promise), you just need to start making yourself think thinner. DON'T ALLOW YOURSELF "FAT" OR "UGLY" THOUGHTS ABOUT YOURSELF!!!

Read some self-help image books & practice their lessons, if that helps you. Also, DON'T let yourself hang around people who say/do negative things to/about you! Good luck!!! You know you're beautiful...and strong...so start acting like it!!! (my daily mantra and you're welcome to it, too)

AMEN AND AMEN.... great advice.

[Jachut 487]

Its insane isnt it. Im 5 ft ten and a size 6 to 8 and i seriously look at size 10 five foot five gals and tjink theyre smaller than me.

Ive actually been seeing a psych over this issue since during my cancer treatment my surgeon and oncologist were so worried about my weight - i feared being made to gain so much because I thought Id be fat, and a the time Id dropped to 130 lb.

It was actually a real wake up call last week, i had a Tummy Tuck, mainly for reconstructive purposes after all the abdominal surgeries Ive had over the past fifteen months and it was at the same hospital. They left my file on my bed hilst I was waiting to go in, I read ALL my colorectal surgeons correspondence including the referral to th pkastic surgeon, where ge described me as "extremely fit and lean" and lso during the time when I was 130lb as looking alarmingly unwell, emaciated, anxious. At the time I was on a high at being so light!

So I think its normal for us former fatties to have trouble seeing the new person but it can definitely morph into real menal illness. And i might mention I have never had a BMI over 36, I spent my teenage years a my full five ten and a "healhy" if slightly overweight 180lb or so. That was during th 80s and was enough to f@&k my head up for life, I felt like an elephant, i just wanted to be petite.

[mauraclegg 29]

as i read these posts i cant help but wonder. how long have you all have these weight issues?? has it been for the most of your life?? if it has then the mindset does have some renewing to do. i suggest you start speaking out loud to yourself. its not stupid, the power of words is a fact, as we know. start speaking positive words so your own ears can hear it. keep re enforcing it. ive been overweight for about 25 years... severely overweight plus unhealthy for the last ten. i can remember what it was like to look and feel really good. i also have a beautiful pic of both my hubbie and myself on the shelf in my room where i can see it. its a very flattering pic but most of all i see the health just shining from my face. I think that time also is a great healer, and thank the Lord for loving friends who are brave enough to be honest. family members as well. sometimes we need their positive input.

I have been heavy since maybe my 20's (I'm 43). I think what still resonates in my head is my grandmother telling me maybe when I was in the 6th grade that I would never been smaller than a size 11; at the same time my mother always said that the dr said I would be petite (I'm 5'7")

I also am stuck on the fact that I am not as skinny as stars who are my height. But at the same time I am learning to love me. Heck I am proud of the fact that I have lost 100 lbs in one year and that I can wear clothes from just about anywhere.

I need to start telling myself I look good and not listening to that voice that tells me I am fat

[mauraclegg 29]

It's rather helpful to know that I am not alone in this struggle I guess it's something I need to work on a little harder and maybe wearing clothes (tops and bottoms) that actually fit and stop wearing my husband's XXL sweatshirts. Thank you all for your advice

and CONGRATS on the weight loss!! We are an awesome bunch

[judych 225]

I have been heavy since maybe my 20's (I'm 43). I think what still resonates in my head is my grandmother telling me maybe when I was in the 6th grade that I would never been smaller than a size 11; at the same time my mother always said that the dr said I would be petite (I'm 5'7")

I also am stuck on the fact that I am not as skinny as stars who are my height. But at the same time I am learning to love me. Heck I am proud of the fact that I have lost 100 lbs in one year and that I can wear clothes from just about anywhere.

I need to start telling myself I look good and not listening to that voice that tells me I am fat

yep. you do... out loud.

[mauraclegg 29]

I am pretty sure that a lot of what we all feel is part of the media and the celebrities.. I see Jennifer Anniston (my age and height I think) and I know she is prob a -0- I should be happy with my 8, and I WILL GET there. I still hate my mid-section - even after my TT, but I am working on it. I guess I should hate gravity as well because it works against all of us

[kll724 3,055]

Next time you have image problems, check out Jennifer Lopez! She has a lot of bootie and she is not a small woman. I'll bet she squeezes herself into a 2 or 4 and she needs a 6 or 8. You are doing great and body image books will help. But, when you are in a store like Target or Walmart that has a camera at the entrance, look up. You probably won't recognize yourself! You will wonder who that thin and fit lady is. That should help your self image!! Karen

[Jenn1214 120]

I still have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that I am no longer obese. Every time I put on a medium shirt or size 12 jeans, I think to myself "Oh these will never fit". Sometimes I still turn sideways to walk through smaller spaces that I can easily fit through. When I look in the mirror, all I see is a huge gut, thunder thighs, flabby arms, and a double chin, not my cute little waist or perky derriere that my fiance can't keep his hands off of. I don't know how long it will take for me to realize how thin I've become. I keep hoping that once I reach my goal and see 145 on the scale, maybe it will sink in. Until then, it's nice to know that I'm not alone!

[sakurah 2]

Its a strange one isnt it?? I know exactly where you are comming from. I have been at target weight for over 2 years now and it is only now that I am able to pick up clothes mysize and know they will fit me withought thinking they look far to small and reaching for the next size up. I have to admit that I still look at other people and quietly ask my daughter if I am fatter than some one who I think is the ideal size I would like to be. Invariably she tells me in all honesty that I am slimmer. So even now I must still picture myself as larger than I am.

[Joni B. 4]

I have been overweight for my entire life (54 years...except for brief periods of thinness that I didn't know how to control) so, thinking of myself as fat is a natural thought process. Even though I've been at my target weight for about a year, it's still tough sometimes not to realize that I really am thin! I'm getting better about it and try not to make this a problem for myself. I know it's hard not to compare myself to celebrities (esp. since they are always visable) but, I really try! Sure, they are thin and beautiful but, so am I ~ and I choose to think that they are not s strong as I am about getting heir "look" and keeping it. It's very nice to know that a few other people understand how I think and feel about myself, as well as that I'm really trying to get past it.