Self Payer's Guilt?

[kbliss78 123]

Hello everyone. I am scheduled for surgery on 5/22/12. I am very excited after many years of trying to get insurance coverage for WLS and then being denied, as well as getting determined to lose it on my own, then failing, I have decided to self pay for my lap band proceedure.

My husband went to the appointment with me and he said "lets do it, if it will make you happy". He is fully supportive no matter what. However, I continue to feel guilty about the money. We have been out of debt (other than our house) for years now. It took us a long time to get there. We have two paid for cars but eventually they will need work. I feel like I am taking family money and doing something selfish. I hate that feeling!

On one hand, I know I will be a better mom and wife if I can lose this weight and be healthier. I want to go on bike rides with my kids and run and coach their sports teams. I cannot do that now. But on the other hand, I am taking $10,000 from the family money for cars, family vacation, and other issues just to spend on myself.

Did other self payers feel this way? Was it worth it? Did the fact that you invested that much money help keep you motivated to follow the rules? DId you feel more pressure since others knew you paid for it?

[guitar4life3000 24]

Hello everyone. I am scheduled for surgery on 5/22/12. I am very excited after many years of trying to get insurance coverage for WLS and then being denied, as well as getting determined to lose it on my own, then failing, I have decided to self pay for my lap band proceedure.

My husband went to the appointment with me and he said "lets do it, if it will make you happy". He is fully supportive no matter what. However, I continue to feel guilty about the money. We have been out of debt (other than our house) for years now. It took us a long time to get there. We have two paid for cars but eventually they will need work. I feel like I am taking family money and doing something selfish. I hate that feeling!

On one hand, I know I will be a better mom and wife if I can lose this weight and be healthier. I want to go on bike rides with my kids and run and coach their sports teams. I cannot do that now. But on the other hand, I am taking $10,000 from the family money for cars, family vacation, and other issues just to spend on myself.

Did other self payers feel this way? Was it worth it? Did the fact that you invested that much money help keep you motivated to follow the rules? DId you feel more pressure since others knew you paid for it?

I went through exactly what your talking about. I sat down and figured out that I would be saving around $250 or more per month in food which means that it will be paid off in 3 years. I looked at it as an investment. I paid off all of my debt before I payed out of pocket for this. It's the first debt that I have ever had that will actually mean something (Besides school loans.) I do feel more motivated to do it right because the $10000 actually means something now. I know I will get a return on my investment.

[JennyBee 340]

I paid for 1/2 with my income tax return, and financed the rest ( it was $10,000 total) for 2 years. I will be paying about $130 a month for 2 years:) not bad if u ask me!!

[kbliss78 123]

I thought about the fact I will be saving money in food and eating out, but might be spending it on clothes, which is great! I can afford it, but the guilt is a struggle.

[NWgirl 574]

If I were in your situation, I would not worry about the money, because it is just money and there should be no guilt.

I don't have children yet, but know how important it is to be there for those you love. You can always make more money, but the damage done to your body with extra weight will shorten or end your life prematurely.

I'm sure your husband and children think you are worth more than any vacation. Please, do this not only for yourself, but know that your children and husband will have you for many years to come.

[Mau134 4]

Hello everyone. I am scheduled for surgery on 5/22/12. I am very excited after many years of trying to get insurance coverage for WLS and then being denied' date=' as well as getting determined to lose it on my own, then failing, I have decided to self pay for my lap band proceedure.

My husband went to the appointment with me and he said "lets do it, if it will make you happy". He is fully supportive no matter what. However, I continue to feel guilty about the money. We have been out of debt (other than our house) for years now. It took us a long time to get there. We have two paid for cars but eventually they will need work. I feel like I am taking family money and doing something selfish. I hate that feeling!

On one hand, I know I will be a better mom and wife if I can lose this weight and be healthier. I want to go on bike rides with my kids and run and coach their sports teams. I cannot do that now. But on the other hand, I am taking 10,000 from the family money for cars, family vacation, and other issues just to spend on myself.

Did other self payers feel this way? Was it worth it? Did the fact that you invested that much money help keep you motivated to follow the rules? DId you feel more pressure since others knew you paid for it?[/quote']

Does your insurance say why they denied you? You should try again.. my insurance just relaxed the rules a bit.

[hopetolose 192]

I was a self pay (insurance ended up paying for a little bit). I had some guilt at the beginning just because it is a big chunck of money. But I never had second thoughts at all. I would do it all over in a heart beat and probably rob a bank if I had to. lol

You save on food money and health if you are on several meds. The only things is new clothes. Which is not totally a bad thing if u ask me.

[gingerwale 8]

Hello everyone. I am scheduled for surgery on 5/22/12. I am very excited after many years of trying to get insurance coverage for WLS and then being denied' date=' as well as getting determined to lose it on my own, then failing, I have decided to self pay for my lap band proceedure.

My husband went to the appointment with me and he said "lets do it, if it will make you happy". He is fully supportive no matter what. However, I continue to feel guilty about the money. We have been out of debt (other than our house) for years now. It took us a long time to get there. We have two paid for cars but eventually they will need work. I feel like I am taking family money and doing something selfish. I hate that feeling!

On one hand, I know I will be a better mom and wife if I can lose this weight and be healthier. I want to go on bike rides with my kids and run and coach their sports teams. I cannot do that now. But on the other hand, I am taking 10,000 from the family money for cars, family vacation, and other issues just to spend on myself.

Did other self payers feel this way? Was it worth it? Did the fact that you invested that much money help keep you motivated to follow the rules? DId you feel more pressure since others knew you paid for it?[/quote']

Have you considered having it done in Mexico? The total for mine was 4995 and flight. I am sitting at the Dallas airport now, waiting for my connection in to San Diego for my surgery in the morning. I'll let you know my honest opinion of the place I'm having it done when all is said and done if you're interested.

[okiekatt 40]

Change jobs with better insurance lol No worries like stephyanders said, "it is only money" comes and goes, the money you save on food will actually go towards fills, but another way to look at it, you are building your credit and...when it is paid off in two years (time does fly) you can renew it and take that well deserved Disney cruise with your family and your hott healthy sexy new self! guilt can ruin any good thing, enjoy anything and everything that makes life better!!!!!

[mandagay 93]

If one of your children or your husband needed a surgery that would lengthen their lives and improve their quality of life, would u hesitate to do anything in your means to provide that for them? You r no different, u are giving your family time with you! Does that sound like something you should feel guilty about?

[stuigi 1]

My feeling is that after a year when he sees the new beautiful you, he will not give the money spent a second thought. You may even have to hold him back from showering you with gifts. Good luck on your journey. Enjoy it.

[honk 780]

I had a coworker who spent 10,000 on surgery for a rescue dog. Do you feel you have as much value? At 39 I had a stroke. I had no health issues or warnings. As someone who lost a parent when I was 10 the idea that for 10,000 I could haved still had a parent is heartbreaking. I clearly spend less money on food. Preband I would go to Dunkin Donuts buy a Breakfast sandwhich, coffee and maybe a cookie (yes for breakfast) and spend 7 bucks. Now for breakfast I have a Greek yogurt with some Protein Powder and Cereal added; so maybe $1.50.

[XTA 22]

I am a self payer. I had mine done in Mexico with Dr. Ortiz for the 4995k. Which is a great price. The surgeons are great. Some of the best in the world on weight loss surgeries. The surgical hospital was super nice, very clean, and everyone is so friendly. It was a great experiance. The problem is that now that I need a fill no one in my area will touch a band done in Mexico. (they act like we had it sdone in the back alley or something) Anyways, I will be traveling 3 hours to the next state to have my fills. I will be staying overnight in case I need some removed or something. So in the long run I may be paying as much or more for my surgery than the people in the states. Thanks Idaho for not doing my fill. Anyways explore your options and good luck to you. I do not regret my choice however. It has already changed my life, and I only had it done in Feb.

[kbliss78 123]

If one of your children or your husband needed a surgery that would lengthen their lives and improve their quality of life, would u hesitate to do anything in your means to provide that for them? You r no different, u are giving your family time with you! Does that sound like something you should feel guilty about?

That is the perfect way for me to look at it. I would not hesitate to pay $10,000 over and over again to help my family's health or anything. So thanks for that angle!