I don't know what to do.. .

[Daisybelle 0]

Well, I do know what to do.. and how to do it.. but I just can't seem to get it done.

My mother died January 8th.. I haven't even cried.. but I have gained 20 pounds...

I eat sweets alllll the time... I had totally stopped.. but not anymore... alllll the time... not just occasionally.

I can't seem to stop... I'm not sure I want to stop...

I guess I don't know what to do.

:help: :cry

[Wheetsin 714]

Hi Daisy, that's a horrible loss. I'm sorry you're having to go through it. I won't be banded until next week so I can't give a lot of band advice, but I would urge you to contact the psychologist in your aftercare program, if there is one, or a local therapist if there is not. Everyone handles their grief differently, and copes with it in different ways. I think getting some help to get you grieving in a way that isn't self-sabotaging would be a really great thing for you.

[jigglypuff 0]

Daisybelle,

I am so sorry! Of course you are hurting right now. Please don't beat yourself up about not crying or about eating too much. You are just trying to take care of yourself in the moment. The fact that you recognize what's happening is what's important. Do you have someone who could give you a hug or just sit with you? Maybe each day you could just try to take one step in a healthier direction...like don't buy any more junk, or have someone take it out of the house for you. Or just sit with a blanket wrapped around you and and have a few quiet moments. Be kind to yourself. You will get back on track in time. ((Hugs))

Jigglypuff

[the best me 6]

Awwww Daisybelle. I'm sorry about your Mom.

(((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))) and come and get more any time.

[pugmum 0]

Hi Daisy,

I'm sorry about your loss. Sometimes we need what we need to cope.

Kelli

[FunnyDuddies 6]

you need to get yourself into some grief counselling fast!! I am sorry for you loss, and I think you need some professional helf you walk through the process so that you can properly heal.

Ihope you find yourstrength again.

[gunn4ya 0]

Holly,

Get a hold of yourself. I know how you feel about losing your mom. I lost my mom 2 years ago and it still feels like only yesterday. Think about this when you start to eat those sweets -- your mom would not want you to give in and try to out do your band. Why did you get your band in the first place???? Have faith and everytime you pick up something wrong to eat say to yourself would my mom want me to eat this. Remember she's still watching over you.

Head up, its a new day and stay focused. Try to cry too it might make you feel better. lov ya!

Tanya

[DAA 0]

Daisybelle, i am so sorry for your loss, I lost my dad in 2004 and have gained, gained and gained. I made the right choice to be banded next Tuesday and get control of my self. I know your mom would want to see you healthy. Maybe try a support group, or voulenteer. I miss my dad dearly and think of him everyday. Your mom will always be a big part of you. If you have that sweet tooth, try to make a healthy choice, or drink a glass of lite cranberry juice, maybe some oatmeal with a bit of fruit. I wish you well. God Bless

[lambchops 0]

I am so sorry for your loss... my mom died three months ago of leukemia at the young age of 55. I know it may seem like it will never get better but it does- time heals, a little at a time. You are grieving, and you are showing your emotions by eating instead of crying, and neither is wrong. Give yourself time and know that you will get back on track. Do not beat yourself up and in time things will get better. I promise. Prayers for you and your mom.

[mousecrazy 2]

My mom died in July 06. I know what you are talking about. There is no quick solution, only steps you can take toward acceptance. I'm not there yet; I grieve every day. Some days are easier than others. Some are painful.

Here's what I want to offer you in the way of compassion and help. First, something one of my friends wrote in a card: "Your life will never be the same, but it doesn't have to be bad."

Next, give yourself a little freedom with the food/comfort, but plan in advance what that means. I know you are sad and probably scared right now, but take care of yourself like you would take care of your best friend. You would give that friend healthy food, you would make sure she got her rest, you would make sure she had a safe place to cry. Do these things for yourself.

My heart goes out to you in your loss. I hope knowing that others understand will comfort you, and I will pray for God's hand in lifting you up and protecting you.

Hugs, Cindy

[gentlespirit 1]

Daisybelle~

I"m so sorry for your great loss. I still have my mom, but she gets frailer each day and I think about this so often. If you have a counselor or therapist you can see, I would encourage you to do so. We all need help at times, and they can make such a difference. I've used Lutheran Social Services to get me through some very difficult times, and they've been a life saver.

Hugs and prayers for strength to you!

Emily

[Daisybelle 0]

Thank you all for the kind words & for the prayers.

I am listening.. and absorbing.

I know that I will do the right thing eventually - I always do..

It's just always been really hard for me to find myself worthy of taking care of. I have been working on that and getting banded was a big step in the right direction. More than anything I don't want to mess that up.

So, please don't stop praying.

And thank you all again. You've helped more than you can know.

[NJChick 3]

Holly, I'm so very sorry for the loss of your Mom Hugs to you.

I know exactly how you feel. When my sister died it felt like my life ended with her's. She left a HUGE hole in my heart, I mean huge. I tried to fill that hole with food. I mean this went on for years. I did the grieving counceling, crying, getting angry, getting mad at God. I was lost for years and the end result was me gaining 80 lbs. I could not stop either.

Its now 7 years later. Time has not healed that hole in my heart its only made it bearable to live with. I am better, alot better but the loss will always hurt. Time for me to move on huh.

I don't know what I'm trying to tell you here except that I do, I really do understand how you feel.

Don't give up like I did, but please grieve your Mom passing, get angry, cry, mostly get it out of your system...seek comfort from others who understand.

Your gonna be okay :couch2:

[Maggie63 0]

i am so sorry to hear about your loss. don't beat yourself up for the eating...but do reach out to someone for help. do you have a support group, family member or church group you can go to? reach out and get the help you need..you will be in my prayers