why is YOUR nose bent out of shape?

[donali 57]

:focus:

I have NEVER heard anyone suggest that newbies or non-banded (whether pre-band or unbanded) people shouldn't give advice. Or that someone must be banded xx amount of time, or have xx amount of fills. That's simply ridiculous.

What I get up in arms about is when the tone of the board starts to shift to blaming the obese for their disease. You want a board where everyone is belittled because of "lack of willpower" you can find plenty of other boards that fit in just nicely with that attitude. I have no tolerance for it here.

I have been through a LOT of emotional counseling on this subject, and I have read a LOT about obesity, and what exactly causes it.

The truth is, there is no one simple answer. And just because I happen to believe that for ME there is a biological explanation in addition to an emotional component does NOT mean that I am unwilling to take responsibility for my actions. BUT - just because I am the one putting the donut in my mouth doesn't mean that it's just a simple matter of NOT putting it in my mouth.

For those people who have to lock their door and then check it ten times before they actually leave the house - yes, THEY are choosing to do that, and yet there is something very deep and primal driving their actions, and it is almost like they have no control. No therapist would tell them "Just stop. Use your willpower."

I think eating some things for some of us is like that.

And I think some of us are more hungry than others.

And I think most obese people have a strength of will that far exceeds many others who do not have to fight this disease.

Willpower is not indefatigable. It is not limitless. It is not designed for the long haul. There has to be a plan put into place - that's the willpower part of it. Then the plan has to be followed - that's the building habit part of it.

Obesity is NOT unbeatable, but it's a complicated thing, and I resent someone trying to reduce it to a simple equation of calories in=calories out. It is so much more than that, and most people need a whole arsenol of weapons to fight and win the battle. And telling the people who are fighting the battle that they are not committed to the journey flies in the face of everything I know and feel as an obese person.

IMHO

[Wheetsin 714]

People throwing their cigarette butts out of their car window bends my nose a little out of shape. I think that anyone caught doing that should have to go find the butt and eat it off the ground, banded or not.

And the root of that isn't emotional at all, it stems from getting a flaming orange cherry in my eye while going down the interstate. :mad:

[vinesqueen 2]

P'nut, honey, not sure why this has you frazled. I think you give great advice, and generally have a lot to offer here. Here, come sit by me, and I'll stroke your hair, and get you some nutcracker spice tea with some milk and splenda. (that always makes me feel better...) Trust me, if you were dispencing snake oil, I'd call you on it.

But it's like Betty clarified for me. It is NOT okay to eat solids a few days out of surgery, and it isn't okay to tell other people that it is. It isn't okay to tell people things that could hurt them. I also think it isn't okay to get upset when someone points out the error of the way. But part of it too is a black and white thinking, black and white attitide. That there is only one way to do work the band, and if you don't do it my way, you are WRONG. But that doesn't permit any shading, doesn't permit any texture.

One of the biggest things is that LBT was a very civil board. No name calling, no flame wars, no "you're a big poopy head" sorts of things. I know that other poeple get used to dealing with people on boards a certian way. They expect to be attacked, so they start on the defensive. So something that really is harmless get's taken out of context.

Many of us come from a hurting place. Frequenly when we get large influxes of new people they don't understand our culture. And one of the things we have always prided ourselves here on has been our gentle and kind nature. Not "tough love" since that is a hard place. It's hard is what many of us have had too much of. Usually when we do have someone who needs some tough love, albout the harshest thing is a pix of Zoe's boot.

LBT has been a refuge from the harshness of what we have to endure "outside." We want to keep it that warm and inviting place, but we have to figure out how to keep it warm and inviting. I think this is the root of the issue.

Tommy, I think it sounds like reflux too. You might have to give it up for a while, or perhaps eat it earlier, or have a cuppa tea before you go to bed. It could be that it just doesn't want to leave your pouch and when you lie down it has to go one way... up.

Doll, go put on your boots and jump in the mud puddle. Why would you think you can't do that? oh sure, you just have to make sure you have the right shoes on, or not care about your shoes.

[Tamyrn 0]

Banded 2/3/06..What's a PB?

[TommyO 5]

Thanks all, I will stop eating the PB at night it won't be easy as this song is aways in my head

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens and Peanut Butter

Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens and Peanut Butter

Brown paper packages tied up with strings and Peanut Butter

These are a few of my favorite things

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels and Peanut Butter

Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles and Peanut Butter

Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings and Peanut Butter

These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes and Peanut Butter

Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes and Peanut Butter

Silver white winters that melt into springs and Peanut Butter

These are a few of my favorite things

[lianna 3]

I am laughing tears here, my sense of humor is whacked tonite. A PB is a productive burp, but the discussion is also over PeanutButter......what "PB" do you mean?

[donali 57]

There are some people who PB'd the first week they had their band. Are they more qualified to answer questions about PB's than someone who actually listened to the adivce of their dotcor and has never PB'd?

Hi, P'nut!! :wave:

Some people DO PB because they do not listen to the advice of their doctors. BUT... It's a rare bandster that has NEVER done it, ever.

For most bandsters, it's just a matter of time. In the 18 months I was banded, it happened to me only a handful of times. The first time was a big surprise - it was on over easy eggs all mushed up. Now, who would have thought... :mad:

Just FYI.

:love:

[donali 57]

TommyO -

I am totally stoked that you know the words to "My Favorite Things"!

:mad:

[TommyO 5]

Liana,Imagine how confused I was when I first eneterred this forum, All this talk about a first PB or a bad PB. Man how could these people be so hard on Peanut Butter.

Donali, beleive me it's not easy being a Six foot Six ex football player who loves musicals. I know most of the words to most of the songs and I love to sing

Oh well off I go,, ohohohohohohoOAklahoma were the.......

[ralheit 1]

:mad: Wait a minute, I don't remember the Peanut Butter thing when Julie Andrews sang it. But.. sounds good to me.:clap2:

Another Peanut Butter Lover.

[DevilMayKare 1]

One of the biggest things is that LBT was a very civil board. No name calling, no flame wars, no "you're a big poopy head" sorts of things. I know that other poeple get used to dealing with people on boards a certian way. They expect to be attacked, so they start on the defensive. So something that really is harmless get's taken out of context.

Many of us come from a hurting place. Frequenly when we get large influxes of new people they don't understand our culture. And one of the things we have always prided ourselves here on has been our gentle and kind nature. Not "tough love" since that is a hard place.

I honestly think a big reason the board has been a bit harsher lately is because of the combination of a lot of new members along with the fact that some of our wisest, most gentle and sincere members have not been posting as often as they used to. It takes a lot of time and there really are more posts to wade thru than there used to be, but the lack of VINESQUEEN & LA MADAME especially shows.

I know there have often been times in the past where I was reading a thread had a smart-ass comment pop into my head only to then read a loving, sweet response from one of those two that just made me ashamed to have such bratty thoughts.

[HunnyBun 2]

WHy's my nose bent out of shape? Because some jerk right behind me on an intersection thinks it's ok to honk at me the second the green light comes on. That really pisses me off.

Or because my son will come up with every freaking excuse possible not to do his homework, and calls me a bad mom when I tell him to sit down and do it or he will be in big time trouble,

Or because I get headaches almost every freaking day and all my doctor has ever offered was perscription advil. When I want to figure out WHY it hurts, she think's I'm too paranoid.

[the best me 6]

I get my nose bent over rude teenagers who don't look at you when you speak to them, mumble and mutter and act like you are invading their space by simply being. Smark-alecks. Dang...my kids are little but if I EVER!!!!!! see or hear of them talking to adults the way I have seen teens talk, OMGosh. Not my kids...they won't leave the house for a week if they even attempt such attitudes! gggrrrr

there, that's better. This has turned into a very therapeutic thread. I'm sure I'll think of more and it will be a blessing to post it! :mad:

[PhotoNut 7]

Some people DO PB because they do not listen to the advice of their doctors. BUT... It's a rare bandster that has NEVER done it, ever.

Hiyas Donali :wave:

*big dorkie smile* You know, I do know this. My wording just sucked.

I have talked to folks who have been banded six months or even more who've never had a PB. That's what I was referring to. Didn't mean to imply that everyone who has PB'd wasn't following doc's orders.

[Jill_S 1]

Now, what is currently bending my nose out of shape: People that only loot the good stuff out of chests, and don't help when you are being ganked by a bunch of mobs.

.... omg you play World of Warcraft !!!!! :mad: (or some other MMORPG but this sounds like Warcraft to me *nod*nod*)

me too me too me too.