why is YOUR nose bent out of shape?

[HeatherGurl 0]

I am bothered by everyone leaving or taking a break... or getting their feelings hurt.

I am bothered that people are getting upset at "newbies" for trying to help others with the rules. Like "newbies" are dumb just because they haven't had the band for 18 mths or more???

A LOT of the people that are offering advice are offering what they have been told by their Dr....

Just what is bothering me these days...

So sad that people are taking everything so hard. I really try not to.

Just my 2 cents!!!

[vinesqueen 2]

I'm with Jenna, folks giving advice, hard and fast rules when they don't have the slightest clue what they are talking about. I'd write exactly what you just did.

Of course, I give folks advice on their bands, but I feel like a fraud since I cannot see losing weight with the band anytime in my future.

I'm considering taking a break but only because I'm so frustrated with the Cushing's. I gained another 3 pounds and I start to cry just thinking how many months that is going to be before I lose that. But everytime I try to slip away quitely, someone send me a PM asking me to come back.

Now, what is currently bending my nose out of shape: People that only loot the good stuff out of chests, and don't help when you are being ganked by a bunch of mobs. Oh, and people that drive too fast in Parking lots and don't stop for pedestrians.

[Wheetsin 714]

I'm not a fan of people trying to "beat the system" - or "cheat" their way to band approval, and I really don't understand how people who make those suggestions can be in a position to later on tell someone they're immoral or ethically impaired - or to the gest, but it doesn't matter. It is what it is.

I've seen people here criticized, more so recently than before, for voicing unpopular opinions, which, justly enough, is also the primary reason I've seen people here give for avoiding other boards. I just don't jive with intolerance or hypocrisy.

I don't really buy into "your post count/banded status/whatever determines how much of an opinion you can voice." I don't agree that you have to personally experience something before you can give advice on it... nor would I say that "educated" information should be pulled from one's buttocks.

I don't understand why there's such a proclaimed abadonment of the board, but it doesn't bother me that there is. People will do what they want, for their own reasons. If it works for someone to avoid 10% of something they dislike by abandoning 90% of what they do, or whatever percentage the breakdown may be, then so be it. If that's how they cope - let them cope.

So really, I'm contributing nothing.

[Wheetsin 714]

What point were you trying to prove?

[HeatherGurl 0]

I'm with Jenna, folks giving advice, hard and fast rules when they don't have the slightest clue what they are talking about. I'd write exactly what you just did.

Of course, I give folks advice on their bands, but I feel like a fraud since I cannot see losing weight with the band anytime in my future.

I'm considering taking a break but only because I'm so frustrated with the Cushing's. I gained another 3 pounds and I start to cry just thinking how many months that is going to be before I lose that. But everytime I try to slip away quitely, someone send me a PM asking me to come back.

Now, what is currently bending my nose out of shape: People that only loot the good stuff out of chests, and don't help when you are being ganked by a bunch of mobs. Oh, and people that drive too fast in Parking lots and don't stop for pedestrians.

Crystal, I say this for a lot of us, when I say I really hope they can get your Cushing's taken care of. I am not sure what steps must be taken, but I wish you a well road ahead!

[PhotoNut 7]

So just to be sure I'm understand this... only those of you who fall within certain guidelines should be posting answers to questions or giving advice. Ok, so who determines what the qualifications are for answering questions and giving advice? And who decides who is qualified to set such guildelines? Haven't we all come here because we are fat and want to change that? Do you really believe that just because someone doesn't have the band yet, or is newly banded, they have nothing worthwhile to offer yet?

There are some people here who have had the band for a year and have lost less than me. Are they more qualified to offer answers and adivce than me? There are some people who PB'd the first week they had their band. Are they more qualified to answer questions about PB's than someone who actually listened to the adivce of their dotcor and has never PB'd? Some new folks show up here, with the band already in palce asking what a PB is. Is it really that horrible for someone who's been banded, or not, that has been learning from others what a PB is and how to avoid it to answer a simple question?

I have only been banded for six weeks, and I have answered a lot of questions on a wide variety of topics. Not once have I seen a "more qualified" bandster correct me on a thread. Should I assume that I was giving uneducated advice but none of the "more qualified" bandsters corrected me?

This communtiy of obsese people represents hudreds of years of weightloss experience. Just because they weren't a long term success doesn't mean they don't know the basic principles of weightloss. Each of us brings to this board our own experiences and our own stories of what works for us. And we share them in hopes that they just might help someone else. Why is that wrong?

I am a part of this community just like the person who just created an account, and just like the person who has been here for three years. This is an open forum for everyone to share on. And while I understand the sense of ownership by those who have been here a very long time, I would ask that you please try to remember that this place wasn't created for just a few. The world of bandsters is growing and a lot more of us are coming, and I hope they all bring lots of energy and excitement about getting healthy. I fully intend to keep answering questions and giving advice. And if the information I give is incorrect, please correct me in the thread.

[Txblue_eyedqt 0]

I believe people loose focus on what the board is for...we should be here to give advice, suggestions, support...and not everyone is going to agree with everyone....if so we would live in a perfect world and we all know that this world is NOT perfect....can't we all just agree to disagree sometimes...

but the poeple that want to be here will and the ones that dont will not, we are all still here for one another and that should be just as important!!!

for me personally I like to see/hear other's opinions and see what they have to say but i DON'T take it to heart by no means cause if you do, you will be one of those to step away from the board...

[HeatherGurl 0]

So just to be sure I'm understand this... only those of you who fall within certain guidelines should be posting answers to questions or giving advice. Ok, so who determines what the qualifications are for answering questions and giving advice? And who decides who is qualified to set such guildelines? Haven't we all come here because we are fat and want to change that? Do you really believe that just because someone doesn't have the band yet, or is newly banded, they have nothing worthwhile to offer yet?

There are some people here who have had the band for a year and have lost less than me. Are they more qualified to offer answers and adivce than me? There are some people who PB'd the first week they had their band. Are they more qualified to answer questions about PB's than someone who actually listened to the adivce of their dotcor and has never PB'd? Some new folks show up here, with the band already in palce asking what a PB is. Is it really that horrible for someone who's been banded, or not, that has been learning from others what a PB is and how to avoid it to answer a simple question?

I have only been banded for six weeks, and I have answered a lot of questions on a wide variety of topics. Not once have I seen a "more qualified" bandster correct me on a thread. Should I assume that I was giving uneducated advice but none of the "more qualified" bandsters corrected me?

This communtiy of obsese people represents hudreds of years of weightloss experience. Just because they weren't a long term success doesn't mean they don't know the basic principles of weightloss. Each of us brings to this board our own experiences and our own stories of what works for us. And we share them in hopes that they just might help someone else. Why is that wrong?

I am a part of this community just like the person who just created an account, and just like the person who has been here for three years. This is an open forum for everyone to share on. And while I understand the sense of ownership by those who have been here a very long time, I would ask that you please try to remember that this place wasn't created for just a few. The world of bansters is growing and a lot more of us are coming, and I hope they all bring lots of energy and excitement about getting healthy. I fully intend to keep answering questions and giving advice. And if the information I give is incorrect, please correct me in the thread.

:clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :rockon: :rockon: :nod:

I couldn't have put it in better words myself!!! I am trying to answer some of the same questions...

NONE of us are medical professionals... (they were all scared away)

Everything Susan said is what I have been thinking and wanting to say...

I ACCEPT THOSE THAT WANT TO LEAVE, AND I AM HERE TO HELP ANYONE THAT WANTS TO STAY!!!

[Wheetsin 714]

Quoting myself from another thread:

I am not banded, and I give advice all the time, if it's something I know about. I never stopped to consider whether I'm qualified to give advice based on banded status, post count, or join date. *shrug*

[HeatherGurl 0]

Quoting myself from another thread:

HOLY COW BATMAN!!!

You aren't banded???

Where the heck have I been!!!

You do have great advice! ?!!?!?!?!

LooK out!!! ANYONE can give advice!!!

Thanks Wheetsin!!!!

[the best me 6]

I don't suppose my nose is exactly bent out of shape, but I am bored to tears with thread after thread of XXX topics, trash talk, bandsters berating and belittling other bandsters under the guise of free speech and if you don't like it don't read it.

Don't post people!!!! If you don't post, the only posters left are the ones who really want to be there and the fire will certainly sizzle quickly on VAIN topics. And if the topic REALLY isn't vain, then good advice and comeraderie will naturally flow between those interested in the same. The problem is that most of the XXX threads topics in the past weeks have been BAIT.

Okay, maybe my nose is a little bent.

[dawg 0]

Qualifications?

Many Doctors and Nurses who deal with bariatric surgery have never:

- Had a band.

- PB'd

- Been obese

- Had a band complication

-

They have qualified their knowledge by learning. They have read, researched, and dealt with these situations from a third party perspective.

We do not question the knowledge that they have at their disposal. It is equally not right to disqualify someone because they may, or may not have this device fitted. You need to find out if they are right, before you can say it isn't acceptable for them to post.

I personally stay out of threads that ask about restriction, fills etc because I am not qualified to speak on them.

I'll tell anyone in the world what a PB is. I've never had one. I never will. I do know what one is though. I think I am qualified to give a full description of it, in detail.

I can't tell you how it feels mind you, but I can tell you what it is.

I recommend that people judge each post on its own merrit. That they forget who posted it, that they forget so called 'experience'.

They look at the post. Read it. Think about it. If you want to question qualification... ask them to qualify their post.

I'm new here. I'm not banded. I've come under attack for my posts.

I'm not leaving, and my nose is perfectly straight.

[TommyO 5]

I think this forum is going through a period of re-definition. By their very nature social groups define themselves and as role definitions begin to shift some members of the group become unhappy. As the heirarchy is adjusted battles are fought for leadership roles and people verify their positions. Many people struggle with change and it tends to have the greatest impact on the members of the society who feel most comforatble with the status-quo.

This last blow up was interesting to to watch, many participants became more vocal some have decided to leave and others have continued on in their usual roles. This is not a phenomenum that happened over night, from my perspective it started some time ago, things began to simmer slowly until we hit the boiling point recently.

Alliances have been broken and some of these alliances were alliances of convenience. This would be a good case study for the UN to better understand how society changes over time and how power shifts.

Oh yah one more thing I am having trouble sleeping at night, I keep being awakened because I am gaging, any thoughts and/or advice would be appreciatted.

[PhotoNut 7]

Men are so much better at getting down to the facts, aren't they?

Thanks TommyO. This is what I've been thinking but couldn't figure out how to say it without offending anyone. You did an excellent job.

Running for office anywhere? I'd vote for ya!

Why don't you put your "gagging" question in a new thread? I'm curious to see what the others think about this.

[HeatherGurl 0]

I think this forum is going through a period of re-definition. By their very nature social groups define themselves and as role definitions begin to shift some members of the group become unhappy. As the heirarchy is adjusted battles are fought for leadership roles and people verify their positions. Many people struggle with change and it tends to have the greatest impact on the members of the society who feel most comforatble with the status-quo.

This last blow up was interesting to to watch, many participants became more vocal some have decided to leave and others have continued on in their usual roles. This is not a phenomenum that happened over night, from my perspective it started some time ago, things began to simmer slowly until we hit the boiling point recently.

Alliances have been broken and some of these alliances were alliances of convenience. This would be a good case study for the UN to better understand how society changes over time and how power shifts.

Oh yah one more thing I am having trouble sleeping at night, I keep being awakened because I am gaging, any thoughts and/or advice would be appreciatted.

About your gagging... are you eating really late at night?

When I was pregnant and would eat late, I would wake up in the middle of the night gagging... certain foods did it to me.