What am I missing? Why are ppl leaving?

[HeatherGurl 0]

As far as not liking the new people giving advice on weight loss. Who cares of they give advice?!?! If it's something that can help you - GREAT!! If not, don't use it. It's that simple. People are going to stop sharing if everyone dogs on them. Just be respectful. :nervous

I totally agree with this!!!

[dylansmom 27]

Well, I was just going to keep my mouth shut. But since others are stepping forward, I might as well too.

As far as not truly meaning it that I was considering leaving....well, that was the truth. I took about a 5 day breather from this place (stopped in only to check my PMs) while creating my own LapBand Family board. I couldn't believe how stress free I felt, and you know, it felt really good!

I honestly don't care if people want to talk about sex here. Fine. It's your life, and I don't have to answer for you when I die, I only answer for myself. And no, I judge no one on how they choose to live.

And yes, as an adult I've just learned to not even open those threads and go on about my business here.

But I have to agree with Penni when she says that it's like we've moved away from even talking about LapBand related issues here.

The other bone I have to pick is that I don't like being jumped on for expressing my sincere thoughts and emotions. If you don't agree with it, fine. You're entitled to that. But don't flame me and put me down because I'm a human being who has thoughts and feelings just like the rest of the human race.

And while I'm on the subject.......I've never once put anyone down here for their religious beliefs. If you don't believe in God or choose to serve someone other than Jesus Christ, then that's your personal business. I have nothing against anyone who chooses to worship differently than I do. So please don't freekin jump down my throat because I choose to worship the Almighty. Because dear mam or sir, that is MY business!

I love Paula more than words can say, and I hope that she doesn't mind my sharing this. I asked her what she thought of me creating another board and she said to me, "I would rather you stay here and fight for helping this place stay on the right track." Sadly, I thought to myself - fight for what? I honestly felt like there was nothing worth me staying to fight for.

I know there are still some good people here, but my thoughts are extremely deep right now and I'm contemplating my next move.

This goes way beyond a bratty kid walking away with a ball folks. Waaaaaaay beyond.

And on that note I will close.

[3loves 0]

I am new here as well and ask for advice as well as try to offer advice/encouragement where I feel I can be of some help. I have completely stayed away from all of the friction (until I voiced my opinions yesterday) mainly b/c by the time I get done reading, I don't have time to post....I am the mother of 2 preschoolers.

Also, I feel some of the threads were posted with good intentions, yet the tone changed and it developed into a war of sorts b/c I strongly feel there are a few that love to argue in order to fulfill a need to feel superior. I grew up with a brother like this and honestly, we are closer than I am with my other bothers....it does take time and patience to understand what people are trying to convey. What I can say that we learned from each other was that we DO have a responsibility to the perception of what we say not just what we say. Personally, I am a strong-willed person and needed to develop that personality to survive. I am opinionated at times, but I deeply care for the feelings of others and respect ALL voices and opinions. I don't always agree, but that's OK....I don't need to agree 100% with you to respect you.

My son attends a christian school and they changed their sign yesterday to say:

He who angers you, controls you.

This was so profound to me b/c it sums it all up in one short sentence.

[nightingale2u 42]

3Loves... that is a wonderfully simple and true statement and on that note...

Well... It's been about a year since I've posted here and I have to say that I have missed more members than I can count. As I mentioned in a PM to one of those missed members... I hope that I will be forgiven for leaving and letting one bad apple ruin the sweetness of all the other sweet apples on the LBT tree. It would be impossible for this many to gather without personality conflicts but the flip side of that is... so many people gather here... what a wonderful resource!

So simply... I am hopeful to be back and sharing in all that is here at LBT... I'm sorry that I left and I choose to see all that is good here from this point forward. Will I ever jump in the midst of a flame war again... probably not... but hey... I'm human and I'm a woman... one never knows.

Darcy

[Iluvharleys 15]

Welcome back Darcy! You have been missed my many of us!:biggrin1:

[nightingale2u 42]

Speaking of a Sweet Apple... ((((Betty))))

[mousecrazy 2]

I hesitate to post here on this topic, but I feel for you new guys, and want you to get the support and info I always get here...

Plain and simple, some members live for controversy. Some people enjoy having their feelings hurt, even though they say they hate it. These two groups get together, and wooohooo!

Additionally, there appears to be some control issues. Some members like to lurk more and post less, and some members want to post on every single thing they read. I think new and old bandsters both have support and information to contribute, so likely instead of substance, some people are objecting to style. It is the way it is said, not what is said.

I've been banded since July 05, so I'm not new and I'm not old. I've met some great friends on this board, too. On the other side of the coin, some people here are annoying (to me, anyway)...so that's life. The "shock-value" threads play into the leavings, too...believe it or not, people do find this kind of thing offensive, or at best, immature.

I hope I've helped to fill you in on what might be going on...I do hope you can find the support you need here at LBT.

Cindy

[Jill_S 1]

But isn't this why we come here? Being new and not being banded yet, all these post about what to do/what works/what doesn't work is what is helping me to understand how things are going to be. I think most people mean these as suggestions, and are just saying what has worked for them. I don't think they are trying to say that that is what works for every one or in every situation, just what has worked for them. With out all those suggestions I think I would be lost.

Ditto.

We can each only speak from our own experiences, so I always figured it was assumed that we all do.

[K@t 38]

Thanks :mad: I really like this place and the people here, even the people I don't agree with, I find sometimes I agree and some times I don't but in the end, I find what I'm looking for. Surgery is a big deal (to me any way) and I don't think I would be taking the steps I'm taking now if it wasn't for the support and kind people I have met here over the last two weeks or so. I have been to a lot of forums and seen a lot of stuff, and I only choose to participate in the forums I feel are worth my time and energy. And I would have to say that LBT is one of the best I have seen so far despite what seems to be going on. I like it here, I'm cozy, and I plan on stickin around....

[Banded14yr 2]

Wow!

Darcy and Becky are back!

I also left when you both did but after some time away became mostly a lurker and an occassional poster. The huge war that broke out here shortly after I started posting really left a sour taste in my mouth and so I also needed to take a vacation. You two don't need to apologize for taking a break. I'm just glad to see you both again!

[nightingale2u 42]

((((((((Tricia)))))))))) I hope we'll get the pleasure of seeing you post more and lurk less.... I've missed you!

[lianna 3]

What am I missing? Why are ppl leaving?

I have not been here for long enough to answer this. I only know that I find tons of great information and support here. I also know that I hate to see anyone leave that has been a supportive longtime contributor on this forum. If there are negative posts/posters they are FAR outweighed by the wonderful ones here on LBT. I am hooked, I have to check daily to see if I am missing some little bits of wisdom or can share any I might have, lol. I am, however, freaking out over the references to "new members", is this all about me? Just kidding.....I hope :biggrin1: (I am so paranoid about offending someone that I usually only reply to benign topics, I am surprised I felt like responding to this.)

[I'llsucceed 1]

I love ALL of you.... Crystal, Kelly, Penni, Leatha, Lisa, Kathy, Betty, Vera, Greg, Ryan, Michelle, and so many others that I cant think of their names at the moment... and of coarse, ALL the newbies that Im just getting to know! And it hurts my heart to think that may have to leave LBT's site to look you up.

(My hands are shaking - Im literally scared to send this through)

Me too Me too Me too Paula- Gotta love me! lol lol lol:grouphug: HA ha - Gosh I crack myself up sometimes!

Kidding aside- I have no idea what the heck is going on but hope it ends by tomorrow. love ya'll too!

[ralheit 1]

I am fairly new to this site and have yet to be banded. I have given advice in a supportive way such as "hang in there" and "you are worth it" and "don't let anyone else decide what is right for you". If that has been of some offence to anyone, sorry. I can't give weight loss advice or band advice because if I knew any of that, I wouldn't be here in the first place.

But I do know that this site has been of great help to me and I have found new friends and more information that I thought possible. I would hate to lose that, especially with being scheduled very soon. I have so many questions and concerns and I also have been a little shocked by some of the threads I have seen. I simply choose what I want to read and what will help me. But I do have a real problem with conflict and it does take a lot away from what I have come here for. So I hope never to be one of the "newbies" that seem to bother others and I definitely don't have any desire to discuss subjects that are not related to what I have come here for. If I do want to discuss something else with someone, I know how to PM.

Thanks to all and to the wonderful support I have found here.

[paula 4]

~~~HIJACK~~~

Me too Me too Me too Paula- Gotta love me! lol lol lol:grouphug: HA ha - Gosh I crack myself up sometimes!

Kidding aside- I have no idea what the heck is going on but hope it ends by tomorrow. love ya'll too!

Chris - I DO love you! I felt bad after posting that list of names, cause there was a zillion more names that flooded my mind *after* I wrote that. I hate doing that kind of stuff (selecting a few) cause it always seems to exclude... and thats something we've ALL been through in our lives (being over weight) is exclusion. Exclusion hurts.

Im sorry.