Significant Others

[kcdaddy3 0]

Is any one else having an issue whith their spouse although being 100% supportive the jealous issue is ruining it for touting the point of calling it off.

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

You must do this for you. Sure I can see why she'd be jealous. Just continue to remind that person that you love them and just because you are losing weight and getting healthy, doesnt mean your feelings will change. Been there before w/this. You can do do this..

[bobbyekat 1]

It is a huge process! I am two years out now. Everything changed for me. However I did not trade in my partner. It was a regular conversation to focus our romance on our mutual respect and affection. Allowing the weight loss and the personal and social effects to be separate conversations. We have shared our lives for 15 years now. Yes weight is a personal issue for both of us, but it is not an excuse to be disagreeable. I have a responsibility to avoid the appearance of impropriety. I am trusted in my relationship. My partner needs to know regularly that I am here because I choose to be. I hope this helps out.

[Sarahbear0429 25]

At first my hubby wasn't 100% on board either, but after much discussion I found out why. I guess he (wrongly) assumed that I would be strutting around the supermarket in booty shorts and a bikini top! Just bcuz u lose weight, doesn't mean it changes who u are. If ur partner loves u enough, they will have to realize (like mine did)....to me it isn't about looks, it's about health. I wanna be around a while for my family!

[Ric 89]

My first wife got Gastric Bypass in 98, me being in the Military was unable to support her throughout her surgery and recovery as I was deployed overseas. When I came home I could hardly Recognize her! She looked Beautiful BUT apparently other men thought she looked beautiful. A year later I deploy again upon return our marriage lasted another 6 months and we eventually divorced. we was married just shy of 18 years and had 3 children and knew each other since the 3rd grade. Yes I was Jelalous not because of the weight loss (I was very Proud of her) but from the attention she gave others. Now that I have had the Band I am now divorced for the second time but that has nothing to do with Jealousy on my part but rather hers. Its a rough world out there.

[lellow 1,713]

I think the weight insulated my ex-husband from having to worry about other men paying me attention. As I lost the weight (and found a love for clothes and high heels) he would get more and more aggravated as he noticed that other men were looking at me. He started to tell me that I was too obsessed with my weight and that he didn't want me to lose anymore.

But that wasn't the only reason we split. I too, found a confidence (and a voice) from losing the weight. I worked hard to lose and it made me feel like I could conquer anything. And suddenly the way he had treated me all those years didn't sit so well with me. I became more assertive, my career took off, and suddenly the dynamic of our relationship changed significantly.

So I think it boils down to this: you either have the communication between you and your spouse that will see you through such a huge life change, or you don't. But I definitely think that this sort of weight loss/lifetstyle change can make being married to someone you might view as 'non-supportive' very difficult.

[kcdaddy3 0]

OK my wife and I talked last night and this morning.

She is excited for me,But I have been so fixated on the surgery I have been ignoring her. I would never intentionally do that.

I also know she feels left behind.

I know my job is to reassure her that she is not and will be left behind.

Thanks for all the helpful insight.