Do You Sometimes Feel Like A Fraud?

[Jean McMillan 2,973]

Thanks everyone. It's only been three weeks for me and I keep hoping I can pull this all off. Most of my friends are in the normal weight range so it isn't something I would recommend to them. The people I have told have been supportive but I guess I'm in a way ashamed to having to "resort" to WLS. I know some of my friends would have an absolute cow if they knew. Most of my friends told me I wasn't heavy enough to go to this extreme every time I even mentioned it. Told me to just cut back and exercize more. Wow I had NEVER thought of that before.

But in the end it's myself I have to make happy and myself who needs to accept the decisons I have made.

Jean you made me laugh. And I also just finished reading your book. Loved it. Very informative.

Glad I made you laugh, and that you loved Bandwagon. My advice may be crap, but I'm always good for a laugh or two!

[#MagicWithinme 173]

Please don’t hate me for saying this but I am just being honest from my own experiences, a mutual friend of our group started weight watchers and begin losing, in about 6 months she looked amazing totally different person, with a little peer pressure from family and friends I decided to give weight watcher another go, after investing in meetings, food, scales, time and everything else that goes with it, again ended up a failure. “if she could do why couldn’t I?” very depressing to try try and fail, after getting banded I found out 2 of my in-laws where banded and our little weight watcher friend ……..she had gotten a sleeve done……..REALLY? to this day I still hold a grudge I feel lied to and betrayed …I feel if they would have cared just a little, they would have let me know why they were/are truly succeeding, every time I see a commercial about some new or old weight loss meds, machine, food or program I always think to myself, Yes, they might being doing that, but I guarantee they have had some kind of WLS first.

And if we are being completely honest we would not be succeeding without this tool, to make people believe that we are somehow stronger or better is deceiving. Anything else is sugar coating, It is what it is. People talk, as much as you think your secret is safe it’s not!

She should have been truthful, as you would have been. but don't hold it against her, look at what we are doing for ourselves!

[Jean McMillan 2,973]

Please don’t hate me for saying this but I am just being honest from my own experiences, a mutual friend of our group started weight watchers and begin losing, in about 6 months she looked amazing totally different person, with a little peer pressure from family and friends I decided to give weight watcher another go, after investing in meetings, food, scales, time and everything else that goes with it, again ended up a failure. “if she could do why couldn’t I?” very depressing to try try and fail, after getting banded I found out 2 of my in-laws where banded and our little weight watcher friend ……..she had gotten a sleeve done……..REALLY? to this day I still hold a grudge I feel lied to and betrayed …I feel if they would have cared just a little, they would have let me know why they were/are truly succeeding, every time I see a commercial about some new or old weight loss meds, machine, food or program I always think to myself, Yes, they might being doing that, but I guarantee they have had some kind of WLS first.

And if we are being completely honest we would not be succeeding without this tool, to make people believe that we are somehow stronger or better is deceiving. Anything else is sugar coating, It is what it is. People talk, as much as you think your secret is safe it’s not!

If you're a person who holds a grudge and feels betrayed about something like that, then my guess is that your friend and your in-laws didn't share their WLS "secret" with you because they were afraid of hurting your tender feelings by suggesting that you're morbidly obese and should have bariatric surgery to deal with it.

I see people every day (strangers, friends, acquaintances, coworkers, etc.) who I think could benefit from WLS, but it would be mighty intrusive and presumptuous of me to approach them and say, "You really need to consider bariatric surgery for your weight problem." Their weight is their own business, not mine.

[readytogoforit 172]

I do not feel like a fraud. I may have looked it in that way before I really knew the truth about what we have to do to achieve success but not now!!!

I told a few people in the beginning. I only have one friend who I'd say thinks we "took the easy way". she has been going to the gym and trying to

lose weight for about 3 years now. She has lost weight but I've already passed her. I don't know what she does to cut calories and fat, I don't want

her to justify how she is living.

It really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. We know the truth, and as the Bible says the truth will set you free. I guess I think freedom fits.

[Miss Meow 12]

I don't have many friends who need WLS. The ones that do or did have already had surgery themselves. They are who I got the idea from in the first place.

But I do have friends who work out for hours a day or who are blessed with awesome metabolism. These are the friends that would probably judge me the most. They can't understand why I didn't just hit the gym or take up running for miles a day to solve my weight woes.

Then there are those people who may have 10 lbs to lose and want to kno

[Miss Meow 12]

Whoops premature post. If I have a friend who can truly benefit from the band I would definitely share what I did with them. I'm not trying to bamboozle anyone but i don't really want to share what I did with everyone I know either.

Further down the line I may want to share with everyone.

[u4leigh 7]

When people compliment my hair color, I don't offer up which version of Miss Clairol it was. :-)

I refuse to feel like a fraud, because I made the decision, had the surgery, paid for it, and am suffering through the changes that have to be made. I say I'm low carbing and moving more, and that's the truth! I am doing those things partly because I had this surgery and vowed to make it work. I know a few people who were banded and live on cake and ice cream, and no one is complimenting their weight loss!

[Miss Meow 12]

Sigh. I miss cake and ice cream. Why didnyou have to go and bring cake and ice cream up?

Yes I see your point. I have friends who have never disclosed their plastic surgery. This actually takes effort. My stomach just doesn't disappear overnight.

[u4leigh 7]

Ooooops sorry! I am having some awesome strawberry sugar free Jello right now, and it is every bit as tasty! I would tell a very close dear friend or relative the truth before saying it is ALL attributable to my change in habits... but most people wouldn't ask me any follow up questions after answering that I was low carbing and exercising. I also don't care if folks are gossiping about their curiosity as to whether or not I had WLS... If they are that kind of person, I'll bet they gossip even more when I fit in skinny jeans! Fortunately, for the folks who point blank as - "hey- heard you were out on leave for surgery... what happened... what's wrong?" (yep- some folks will go there), I just tell them I had a big whopping hiatal hernia repaired and follow with wondering if they want to hear about my last gyno visit as well!

[1shauna1 129]

You would only be a fraud if you actually didn't get banded but tell everyone you were! Believe me, even with fills you are still doing most of the work. This isn't an easy fix at all. You still must work, eat right and exercise. Be proud of your decision!

[hopetolose 192]

I have told many people about my band, it doesnt bother me who knows. People that I see in passing that I havent seen for awhile that comment, I will usually just say thank you and go from there. If they are truly curious and I think it could be of use to them, I I might tell more. But sometimes that can be bad because because then they want it and cant afford it and dont have insurance. Then I feel bad. Or they think it is a quick fix and uf they get it it will be magic. If I tell them, I tell them the good and the bad...

[hopetolose 192]

I have told many people about my band, it doesnt bother me who knows. People that I see in passing that I havent seen for awhile that comment, I will usually just say thank you and go from there. If they are truly curious and I think it could be of use to them, I I might tell more. But sometimes that can be bad because because then they want it and cant afford it and dont have insurance. Then I feel bad. Or they think it is a quick fix and uf they get it it will be magic. If I tell them, I tell them the good and the bad...

[karewpah 173]

I don't feel like a fraud. I did what was right for me to be successful. My husband knows, and now, only because I experienced a slip while travelling for work, my boss knows...and that's it.

I work hard to lose the weight and I will work hard to maintain it I'm sure.

When I travel I get asked if I have an implant. If I have an overweight person that is going to scan me, then I tell them yes, I have a lapband. That usually strikes up a conversation. It takes longer to get through security, not because I'm a risk, but I'm helping them and enjoying sharing.

We do what works for us. I don't feel I should be obliged to give everyone all the details, nor would I feel betrayed if someone lost a bunch of weight only to find out later they where banded. I might think darn, why the heck didn't you mention it to me, I could have used a push, but wa ll know that our battle with our weight is a very personal and very emotional one. There's simply no "right" answer to this...it's truly what you are amost comfortanble with.

[Califdreamer 5]

I have to admit that at first when we were talking and thinking about the band I didn't see it as a tool. I saw it as cheating. I have been banded since Nov.4th 2012 and am down 45+ lbs. I feel great and haven't told my parents, siblings or pretty much any one except a few close friends. NOT because of any other reason but because my parents live 400 miles away and the last time they saw me, last year, I was at my highest weight of 277 and wearing a 3x! Now I am in an extra large and I want so badly to surprise them this year! As soon as they see me then I will let everyone know. Now I see this as a tool only. I control what and how much I eat. I work out 5 times a week (although the last 5 I haven't due to health problems that have nothing to do with my band) and watch everything I eat. I do not feel like a fraud at all. I am the one doing all the work and it is not easy. Could I have done this without the band? Maybe BUT maybe the question here is...could I have kept losing without the band? Even when things were bad and I would pig out and I'd get depressed and eat more? Yet this band is a reminder to me that I am committed to this and I am a strong person and it's forever. If I overeat, I feel like I'm having a heartattack! I have 6 kids and now entered into the world of grandparenthood and the thought of a heartattack because of my weight makes me want to continue this journey. My band is a "friendly" yet painful reminder of why I did this and for whom (me first then my family). Each one of our journeys is different. And just like the doctor that has to tweak our fills, we have to tweak our minds and hearts, pasts and presents, hurts and joys and falls and goals.

[Dawn200321 146]

Yes I do!!! I feel gulity for even bringing up my weight loss to friends because I dont want them to ask me how I have done it. I am afraid to even post photos on FB. I am very proud of myself but Yet sometimes I dont feel like its really me doing this. Its hard to explain. I know I should not care what others think but yes I guess Fraud is the word I would use