I'm terrified and crying

JanetC · February 20, 2006

I had an absolute panic attack in the pre-op room. Poor Mikey was there to hold my hand.

I did fine while they talked to me & had me sign things, but then the IV was in & I was prepped for everything... and the doctor was late. So we just had to sit there... waiting....

I started hyperventilating, really worked myself up. Mikey finally got me to listen to him -- I was squirming & about to rip the IV out. He had me start breathing -- VERY important. And talked to me about why I was doing it... what the long term results were going to be. Had me start the "mind pictures" again. He re-convinced me right there, in the pre-op room.

And then all the deep breathing got to me & I went to sleep, lol. I woke (barely) when they put me on the table, but not enough to panic, thank goodness. Then the next time I woke up it was done. I did freak out then, but who could tell? lol. Go morphine!! At that point the freaking was that it was done & I hadn't witnessed it, of all things! And that Mikey wasn't in the room with me... I focused on breathing really well so they'd let me OUT OF THAT ROOM!!! (Morphine makes your breathing slow, so they watch you closely. Get your breathing nice & deep & oxegenated & they'll let you out! )

Then I got to my room & Mikey was there & I went to sleep. **AHHHHHHH!! Sweet relief!!**

In retrospect, all the panic was for naught. It all went great. I'd already prayed & trusted & planned & anticipated. Not sure why I turned the panic on, but I eventually got through it.

All in all, it was worth it. We have hope again. We've been re-equipped to step into the battle lines & take up our swords again in the never-ending battle against food.

Long story to say... breathe, pray, hang in there, it'll be over soon & you'll be glad for the rest of your life!!

((( HUGS!! )))

Mikey · February 20, 2006

It's my calm, soothing voice...

gentlespirit · February 20, 2006

Sunta~

The last time I had surgery was following areally bad car accident, and I w as reliving all the fear of that experience, too...but it really wasn't anything to worry about. You just wake up and it's all done and you will be so glad you went ahead and did it. Think of all the soul searching you did to get to the decision...nothing has changed except that you're feeling the normal pre-surgery jitters and fears. You will be fine, so take a deep breath and focus on the reasons that you're doing this. You will be fine...we;re all sending you peaceful and healing thoughts and strength to get through this.

Emily

donali · February 20, 2006

(((Janet)))

Welcome back, and congrats on your band!! Good days are ahead, but make sure you take it super easy the next 2 weeks minimum, no matter how good you feel!!

Betje · February 20, 2006

Hey dont cry, the day from my surgery we was 3 person for make that operation, the doctor came and ask who first? i say MEEEEE.

I think that was the happily day of my life.

So really everthing will be fine.

Banded 11/08/2005 286

02/15/2006 240

3loves · February 20, 2006

Hi Sunta....I can relate to where your coming from. Like others have said, this is a normal reaction b/c of what your about to do....change your life forever and for the GOOD. :clap2: I just made a visit last week to my doc b/c I thought my blood pressure was up. My heart was thumping out of my chest and she thinks it could be from decongestants and a little of anxiety. I told her that I couldn't be happier with my decision of going for the lapband, but she thinks it may have a bigger impact on me than I realized. For the first time, I let myself feel the impact of such a huge decision. I am still full-speed ahead and want my band yesterday!!

This is a big step, but you will be fine. Aren't you thankful to have this site to share all these thoughts & emotions? What a great place to get support. :clap2:

Let us know how things go and I'll probably be writing the same thread b4 my surgery.....I'll be looking for your words of wisdom. :biggrin1:

pugmum · February 21, 2006

OH, Sunta, I can so relate. I was banded on 2/2 and almost backed out ON THE OPERATING ROOM TABLE. I think it is a big deal, this surgery, and I respect your fear. If it helps at all, I went through it, and am grateful to be banded now. I SO HOPE it works out for you. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Kelli

sunsett · February 21, 2006

Sunta-This is the beginning of the rest of your life! These feeling are normal. I bet if you asked most of us bandsters if they would do it again, you'd hear from more than me, in a heart beat.

I promise it is really not that bad. I was amazed at how little pain I was in.

Trust in God and he will hold your hand....

sarabride2006 · February 21, 2006

Hi there...prayers and best wishes coming your way. I had the surgery 12/28 and the night before my mom, FI and myself were in Walmart buying liquids. I had a break down in the juice aisle in Walmart. Needless to say, two months out and I am very happy! This is such an awesome step for a better future..just remember that.

gadgetlady · February 21, 2006

Sunta, surgery is a scary thing. You've probably been overthinking all of the potential complications, but I agree with DeLarla that you should trust your gut. You should try to get to a place of peace with your decision.

I was a basket case until the day before surgery. That day, I was praying and God told me clear as a bell that He would have His hand on me during the procedure. After that, I was fine. But without that, I don't know what I would have done.

The good news is there's so much going on the day OF surgery that you have little time to think.

Good luck in your decision -- and God bless!

Sunta · February 21, 2006

Thank you all sooooo much. I tried going to sleep (yeah right!) at midnight. I slept 30 minutes and woke up. Laid in bed a few hours, and here I am at 2:00am, wide awake, starving (been on liquids for two days!) thirsty as anything, with a headache and not able to take anything as per pre-op instructions, etc. Then to come on and see all these wonderful, thoughtful responses... it helps sooooo so much. Thank you all so much. I love hearing how happy people are with their bands, how they were scared too but it all worked out, etc. It's so wonderful to have such support. I honestly think that if it weren't for this board, I might have backed out by now! As I lay in bed, my mind goes to all the possibilities, even stupid ones like not being able to pee after the anesthesea and having to have a catheter (that's like such a huge fear of mine) and having friends coming to visit (two of my best friends, along with my mom and husband are coming) and seeing this pee bag attached to me. Or fears about the surgeon doing something accidental that wrecks my life (I have such an amazing life) or not being able to get a nurse to help me if I need help, just so many things. Reading these replies has helped alot though, it really has. I think I'm just going to be anxious until I do it. But I am so greatful for these responses. Thanks again.

wannabelean · February 21, 2006

Hey now... you probably won't get this until it's all over, but let me just tell you.... in this world there are dreamers and there are doers.... I have always been a dreamer, but three weeks ago I became a doer... and I am only looking ahead!!!! It's natural to have sleepless nights and major fears... but look 10 years down the road.... does that not cause you any fear? I found the best way to stop worrying about surgery was to distract, distract, distract... I honestly did not think about my surgery until they wheeled me in, and as I started to get petrified with fear, my doctor took my hand and the next thing I knew I woke up and was on my way to recovering. So wipe away your tears.... the recovery was really not bad AT ALL!!!!! And as for the farting.... I had NONE!!! THANK GOODNESS!!!!!

Papillon · February 21, 2006

aaw..don't be scared!! its gonna be just fine..you are prolly getting yourself worked up and making yourself dizzy from stress. As long as all your pre-op tests came out ok..you will be fine. Its natural to be scared..its a major surgery, but it is soooo worth it...believe me...I had my surgery jan5th and lost 31lbs already..once you adjust your behavior, and start excercising..the weight will come off and you will laugh at how scared you felt...*hands yew a tissue*..You can DO IT!!

thistle · February 21, 2006

Every time I have a medical procedure, I lie to myself and tell myself I'm just waiting for someone else to have it done. I only freak out the last five minutes before any medical thing. If I didn't procrastinate/lie to myself, I would be locked in my bathroom for days.

I had my appendix out seven years ago--emergency surgery. I went in at 6 p.m. and it was out at 10 p.m. I didn't have the two months of education and worry that I had with the band. In the end, I think that kind of surgery is kinder--I didn't have the build-up of anxiety that I had with the band.

However, the band surgery was much easier on my system. Really, from one chicken to another, it's not that bad. Once they get that IV started in pre-op--the one that contains the calming drugs--I didn't care what the heck they did with me.

Best wishes. Just think about tomorrow and how glad you'll be that you did it and it's over!