This Is Already Changing Me.

[angelofmusic 0]

Hi bandsters!

Firstly, my surgery is March 15th! I am SO excited.

I've been stewing over a few things internally, not knowing who to ask, then I realized: my bandsters! No one else will ever relate.

So, like I said, I haven't even had the damn surgery yet and I'm already starting to question things about myself. Everyone has their reasons for the surgery...mine are this: I want a family. I want NOTHING getting in the way of me being able to have children or attracting the "type" of person that I want. Here comes my issue. I've recently met a really good guy who has an even bigger weight problem then me. Suddenly I'm wondering why I ended up the way I am...and how I could possibly ever ask someone to look past it and see the inside, as even in my current state of overweight-ness I'm having a hard time looking past his weight issues.

Isn't the OUTSIDE a reflection of the INSIDE at some point?

I've always thought that people who thought that way were shallow assholes. That's because I was too in denial about myself to accept that maybe they had a point.

I want something better for myself. I've been healing on the inside and now this is my way of helping myself heal the outside...is it bad to want someone that WANTS you for what you are on the outside? Is it bad to admit that even though this man is a GREAT man, I'm not attracted to him?

I feel like a hypocrite and am just wondering if anyone else has had this phenomenon or if i really am a shallow person.

[YngGram 73]

it does change you, and you might not like all of it . but since health is a big part, I don't think it's bad. also I think it's different if you walked the same path and now understand about bad choices and other reasons to be fat rather than one who has never had to deal with it. you will even wonder how you allowed yourself "get.like that".

[DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703]

You can't help who you are, and are not, attracted to. I mean, it's no different than men who would have nothing to do with a fat girl. We all have our things we find both attractive and unattractive. For instance, I like a bigger buy and have no problem dating them. However, if a guy is shorter than me, I'm not attracted to him. It's not a conscious decision, it's just the way I'm wired, just like you can't help the fact you're not attracted to him physically. It doesn't make you a hypocrite at all- you're just being honest.

[kr8160311 36]

just because someone is wonderful, funny , smart everything you want if your not attracted to them because there thin, over weight, bald whatever your just not attracted. You can't force yourself to be attracted to people.

My friends think the guy from twilight is the hottest guy on each, I could not date him if you paid me. Its all about what you like...

[Cyndie B 17]

I am trying to put myself in your shoes and with me I had such a strong desire to change and to lose the weight and if my husband was overweight I would probably start to feel differently about him...like, "you need to lose weight, too, buster". Of course, I have been married for 27 years and my husband is not overweight. What stood out for me in your post is you said you are not attracted to him...I can almost guarantee that when you start losing the weight you will start to feel confident and really good about yourself and you may think that you can do better...do you think maybe part of you chose him because he is overweight like you? Your eating habits will also change drastically and it is my opinion that if you are together he should support you and adjust his way of eating as well..but is he willing to do that?