Telling A Loved One

[Abby E 0]

I have a twin brother stationed in Japan. We are so close but since he has left, I find that our relationship is struggling. I told him about me wanting the surgery and he told me that I was giving up. Now, no effence to anyone but when I first heard about the surgery I thought the surgery was for people who just gave up on weight lose. I realize now that it isn't. I tried weight watchers a year ago and lose 13 lbs but since then I have gained more than 20 lbs and after doing research the lap band is the perfect thing for me. I have told my whole family to keep it a secret from him. We have never kept anything from eachother. He wont be home until 2014, (which contributes to why I want the process to go quick; so I can heal). When he left for basic training he told me the only graduation gift he wanted from me was to be thin and pretty. I also wanted to lose weight with him for support. However for his graduation I showed up weighing the same amount as I did before the weight watchers diet. Wow, so my sob story ends with does anyone have a similar story or have any advice as to go upon telling him ( or maybe not)? Thanks everyone.

[Toddy 758]

I'm not one for giving advice on this matter, because I haven't told either of my sisters, and probably won't for vary different reasons.

However, since you have mentioned it to your brother and received a negative response, take advantage of the fact that he's overseas and write him a nice long letter explaining the facts: That the band is only a tool, you still have to do the work.

The way I feel about my band is that I know I can lose weight on my own, I've done it dozens of times; however, I am a complete failure at keeping that weight off. So I look at my band as sort of an insurance policy, I know I'll lose the weight and it will be the tool that helps me keep it off for good -- that's my goal anyway!

[#MagicWithinme 173]

that's alot of pressure, that you've put on yourself to please your brother, as much as you love him. You have to think about you and whats best for you!

[Joni B. 4]

I've had my band since 24 May 2010; lost 71 lbs. in 10 mos. It was the easiest weight loss I've done (& I've done them all) and KEEPING IT OFF IS THE EASIEST THING EVER!!! My lapband is the ABSOLUTE BEST thing ever ~ I swear by it!!!

It is "an insurance policy" to be able to take/keep the weight off, but you still have to do your part. The first few months after you start ARE weird but, that's because you're learning a whole new way to eat and think about food. If your friends will support what you are doing, it will be MUCH easier. If you can find a weight loss surgery (esp. lapband) support group (yes, there are some ~ ask your lapband clinic), that might help, too. If you make sure the way you think/act about your band stays positive, there shouldn't be anything to worry about.

It's a good thing that you want to lose your weight by the time your brother moves back from Japan. That will help you with what you're doing (yes, you should be able to lose at least quite a bit, if not all, of it). Once your brother sees you, you won't have to say anything! But, when you tell him about it, he should feel good that you're doing something so positive for yourself (seeing the results should convince him). By the time he does get back, the "lapband life" will be totally normal for you!

The most important thing for you to remember is that if you have a question about anything concerning your band, ask the clinic that's doing it for you!!! That's their purpose in life!

I haven't had any problems with my band that couldn't be "fixed" (remember to talk to your clinic and do what they tell you). Just BE READY FOR YOUR LIFE TO CHANGE (not in a bad way, just change) with your band. If the clinic you go to offers counseling to help you know what's going on and how to handle it (maybe how to tell others, too), USE IT!!!!

If other people have trouble understanding/dealing with your lapband, that's their problem. Do not allow anyone (even your brother) to affect what is right FOR YOU!!! (may take some time/work to adopt that attitude but, it will help you succeed with this ~ I promise). GOOD LUCK!!!!!