Disapproval From Others.

[ducker2010 17]

I was banded a little less than three weeks ago. My husband and I kept my banding very quiet because we know some people can be very ugly. Today I got my first experience with ugly. There was a woman on my Facebook page who was talking about this new fad diet she was doing and how much weight she had lost. I told her I had lost 18.5 pounds. She told me that was unsafe and asked how I was doing it. When I told her that I had the lap band done she said it's people like me who make her sick. It's easier for us to write a check than to get off our azz and go to the gym and quit stuffing our faces with comfort food. While I understand how she feels it's just not that easy. If there was an easier way I sure would have done it!

Has anyone had to deal with this kind of thing before? How did you handle it? What did you say to the person?

[goldngrll 9]

ABSOLUTELY. It is soo annoying...many folks like to say, "we took the easy way out"..cuz. yeah, this is easy...the easy thing would have been to do nothing....

the fact of the matter is, this is not, as you know, instant weight loss, like the bipass....a lot of folks dont realize that...this IS work.....

I have been banded for about a yr and a half, and have lost about 150 lbs....my band does not drag my butt to the gym 6 days a week, I do..my band does not control what I put in my mouth, I do.

The fact of the matter is, we have made a decision to take control of our lives and our bodies....most people dont have the courage to do that...this person sounds like one of them....

Personally I wouldnt even dignify her with an answer...or if I did, it wouldnt be nice...I dont tell too many folks about my band, because most folks just dont get it, and really, who needs to know? hang in there, and dont let folks get ya down...work your tool and you'll do great!!!

[running_scared 125]

That is so ugly.

That is one of the reasons why I won't be telling anyone.

[Holly Dolly 575]

wow, if only losing the weight with the band was as easy as just writing a check! Too bad you couldn't post that on your wall and after she saw it defriend her! Some people just don't get it. They see those commercials that make one think that way and it is so far from the truth!

My friends also thought that before I had the lapband that it would be easy for me. But they have seen what I have gone though and what it took to get me to where I am at...and that is HARD WORK!

[DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703]

The level of people's ignorance seriously astounds me. This IS work, it's work for the rest of our lives.

Sometimes I honestly think people lash out at us out of jealousy. They see us losing weight and react defensively and out of envy.This is especially true of other big people. It's like they see us as fat camp traitors because we chose to leave. It's sad, really.

Whether behavior like this is out of ignorance or envy (or both), there is no excuse for it. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that

[ducker2010 17]

Thank you all. It was just so mean. And this was someone I thought was my friend. I knew there would come a day I had to deal with this but as ready as I thought I was I still wasn't ready. If that makes sense. And I totally understand. Even though I'm a "newbie" doesn't mean I don't understand the sacrifice. I gave up soda six months ago to prepare. I know there are foods I might not be able to eat forever more... I didn't think this would be a "cure all". But I was sick and damn tired of feeling hungry all the time, never feeling satisfied no matter what I ate. At least now, with the proper choices and lifestyle changes, I won't feel starving all the time. It's already made a huge difference.

[lorena st 33]

I would unfriend this person or at a minimum block them. With friends like that, you don't need enemies! This is a difficult process without comments like that (She really said that you make her sick and you should get off your azz...Wow!). I wonder what she thinks of people who get pacemakers or insulin meters, or hip replacements, or any other sort of medical implant...are they taking some sort of easy way out? Does she think you should stay fat or follow her approved weight loss plan, before she will grant her seal of approval? Double wow!

[Dawn200321 146]

My response would be to ask a lot of questions. I would as why they felt it was the easy way out? What kind of research they have done on the subject etc etc. 99% of the time they probably wouldnt have an answer. Then maybe you can enlighten them on the subject. let them know that the band is nothing more than a tool to HELP you lose weight. It will not be doing it foryou. That you must exercise and eat right as well.

[NuBeginnings2012 6]

I was banded a little less than three weeks ago. My husband and I kept my banding very quiet because we know some people can be very ugly. Today I got my first experience with ugly. There was a woman on my Facebook page who was talking about this new fad diet she was doing and how much weight she had lost. I told her I had lost 18.5 pounds. She told me that was unsafe and asked how I was doing it. When I told her that I had the lap band done she said it's people like me who make her sick. It's easier for us to write a check than to get off our azz and go to the gym and quit stuffing our faces with comfort food. While I understand how she feels it's just not that easy. If there was an easier way I sure would have done it!

Has anyone had to deal with this kind of thing before? How did you handle it? What did you say to the person?

First let me say congratulations on your success this far! I agree that WLS is not an easy decision or even an easy way to get the weight off. I have tried everything short of this option. I decided to pursue lap band after a lot of research and am in the pre-op stage. My deciding factor was this: when your BMI hits 40 or greater research shows that less than 1% that is (1 in 100) people can keep the weight off. I think all of us have some clue about losing weight, what we really have in common is the inability to keep it off. If weight loss was easy there would be no obesity. The advantage of the lap band is that it is a tool that not only helps with weight loss and satiety it also helps with maintenance. In other words, used correctly the lap band increases your odds of keeping the weight off. It is much easier to go to the effort to lose weight and live a healthy lifestyle knowing that I have a tool to help me avoid or minimize regain. Keep an open mind about your friend odds are they are not in the 1% and may need your help in the end. Chin up!

[ducker2010 17]

I know there is still a lot of misinformation out there. My mom also thinks this way. That it's the easy way out. It is not. You know, I wish I could just get up and go work out at the gym. But I started at 301 and had severe arthritis in my knees. Some days it was all I could do to walk around the house! I had never even considered lap band until my knee surgeon suggested it to me. It sucks being fat and in pain all the time. It's a vicious circle and you need help breaking it. Even the 18.5 pounds I have lost have made a HUGE difference in my knees.

People think this is the fast way to "get skinny". I wasn't even thinking about skinny. I was thinking about not hurting all the time! I know this isn't a cure all. Like I said I'm only three weeks in. Staying on the pureed foods has been a challenge but I'll do whatever it takes to get to where I need to go.

Anyway, I guess this was challenge one in lap band world! Standing your ground against the nay sayers! Thanks all for your encouragement.

[Cazzy 725]

I was banded a little less than three weeks ago. My husband and I kept my banding very quiet because we know some people can be very ugly. Today I got my first experience with ugly. There was a woman on my Facebook page who was talking about this new fad diet she was doing and how much weight she had lost. I told her I had lost 18.5 pounds. She told me that was unsafe and asked how I was doing it. When I told her that I had the lap band done she said it's people like me who make her sick. It's easier for us to write a check than to get off our azz and go to the gym and quit stuffing our faces with comfort food. While I understand how she feels it's just not that easy. If there was an easier way I sure would have done it!

Has anyone had to deal with this kind of thing before? How did you handle it? What did you say to the person?

i think the ignore button or unfriend is appropriate here !

[KIEVA29 2]

HELLO DUCKER2010. I WOULD FIRST LIKE TO COMMEND YOU FOR TAKING THE FIRST STEP IN IMPROVING YOUR SELF PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY. I AM RACING TO BE WHERE YOU ARE. NOW, DO NOT LET ANYBODY, I DONT CARE WHO THEY MAY BE (OR FAKE LIKE THEY ARE) STEAL YOUR SHINE. THIS PERSON SEEMS TO BE JEALOUS OF YOUR SITUATION. IT MAY NOT NECESSARILY BE THAT THIS PERSON IS JEALOUS OF THE ROUTE YOU TOOK (OR MAYBE THEY ARE) BUT THEY ARE FOR SURE JEALOUS OF YOUR OUT COME.

ITS JUST LIKE IF A CHILD SAID "I HAVE A LOLLIPOP" AND THEN THE NEXT CHILD SAIDS "THATS GOOD, I HAVE TWO",NOT TO BOAST BUT TO INFORM. THEN THE FIRST CHILD BEING AUTOMATICALLY JEALOUS SAYS SO, YOU DIDNT EARN THEM. THEY WHERE GIVIN TO YOU. THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS, YOU HAVE THEM. ITS YOUR BUSINESS HOW YOU GOT THEM AND IF YOU CAN LIVE WITH YOURSELF KNOWING WHAT YOU DID TO GET THEM THEN WHOS TO JUDGE YOU? I SAY ALL THAT TO SAY, SHE FELT LIKE SHE WAS IN COMPETITION AT THAT MOMENT AND SINCE YOUR NUMBERS WHERE OBVIOUSLY HIGHER THAN HERS SHE HAD TO TRY TO MAKE YOU FEEL LOW. shake IT OFF BECAUSE THE TRUTH IS YOU NEVER KNOW WHY SOMEONE IS BIG, ITS NOT OLY FROM SITTING AROUND BEING LAZY AND EATING OURSELVES INTO A GRAVE. IT COULD BE A MEDICAL ISSUE BUT SINCE THAT PERSON WANTS TO SAY WE (WITH BANDS OR SOON TO BE) ARE LAZY ANSWER ME THIS, WHY IS HE/SHE ATTEMPTING TO LOOSE WEIGHT?....THIS PERSON MUST HAVE BEEN JUST AS FAT, LAZY AND UNMOTIVATED AS ALL OF US AT ONE POINT. IMA SHUT UP NOW AND SUM IT ALL UP. YOUR ON THE ROAD TO YOUR OWN SUCCESS, TRAVEL IT WITH YOUR HEAD UP SUPER HIGH. YOU HAVE ONE LIFE TO GET IT RIGHT. LIVE FOR YOU AND PUSH ALL THE HATERS TO THE LEFT.

[pink dahlia 2,513]

good for you for making a smart decision to get healthy !! i have had only positive comments but i also was quietly upfront about my past struggles with weight loss . when someone asks me why i got lap band i usually say the following ," well ive been struggling with a weight problem for many years now. i was on weight watchers for a year and only lost 12 lbs, great program and great people, but it simply didnt work for me no matter what i did . so, i did my research on lap band after 2 relatives did so well on it, and my dr and i both thought it was a good choice. i lost x lbs now and feel really great so far !" this usually makes people see the big picture ! it doesnt hurt that even though ive only lost 15 lbs (banded dec 13th ), im getting lots of compliments on how much thinner i look ! hope this helps ! good luck !

[GLove 44]

After momths and momths of research, attending support groups, 3 seminars, etc, I told my best friend I decided to have lapband. She knew I was doing all this research and yet her response to me was " so you're going to take the easy way out". I was stu ned by her reaction. She has seen my weight gain, we work out hard everyday together and we are constantly supporting each other.....until that remark. I was very sad and hurt and decided then that I would not discuss my surgery with her anymore. My reply to her ignorance was to say: actually, this is the hardest decision in my life (im 57!). I will subject myself to surgery, have 5 holes drilled in my stomach, change my eating habits forever, give up bread, smash my meds everyday because they wont go down easy, commit to some meds for the rest of my life, possibly have temporary Hair loss, awful stuck episodes, etc, in hope of weight loss to relieve my joint pain, ward off diabetes and feel human again... After all of that she admitted that she is jealous that I will be losing weight and she didnt want me thinner than her. OK, that I can understand. Just dont tell me Im taking the easy way out when you dont know a thing about it!

[suzahhn 19]

Yes people are very ugly about it sometimes! I agree with others, you don't need a "friend" like that. I have run into people like that as well, but I wasn't so lucky as to have it told to my face. I had an overweight acquaintance(definitely NOT a friend), tell my friend she doesn't understand why I don't "just go to the gym". But to me, she acted supportive. I began by telling almost everyone, and now I keep it to myself. I simply don't have time for the drama that can come with it.