What Is He Thinking? Don't Read If You're Uptight!

[BandedWithLuv 0]

Man question!

I had a one night hook up with a guy 9 years ago. Most amazing sex I’ve ever had (he was very dominating yet gentle)! He knows that I’m not the kind of girl that (normally) has hook up sex. He did, through a mutual friend, try to get in touch with me a few months later, but by then I had a boyfriend. So 9 years go by and I run into him a couple months ago & we talked and agreed that we both had a fantastic time! The details he recalled about me really shocked me. We both said that we would love to do it again some time. We exchanged a few emails for about a month. He told me he was really busy with the holidays and work and then nothing. I figured ok no big deal he was just not that into me or has his own stuff going on. I figure if a guy is into you he will call. I admit that I was shocked that he would turn down hot hook up sex with me. Not to sound full of myself because I’m NOT, but the fact is I’m 7 years younger than him, college educated with a successful career. I’m also prettier & at least the same size if not smaller than I was 9 years ago! One not so attractive feature of mine is that I’m in the (slow) process of divorcing my lying cheating husband. Which I was totally upfront about.

So I don’t hear from him for a month then out of the blue he texts me that he is available to get together in a couple days. I was really surprised to hear from him. I thought he had moved on. I don’t play games so I was like “yeah! What do you want to do & when?” We talk for awhile he tells me he is so glad we found each other again & how he thought about me on and off over the years. He says he must have really made an impression on me because I still think about him too, and I admit “yeah you sure did”! Our conversation wraps up with how freaking hot he thinks I am & how he can’t wait to “f” my brains out! He says he’s going to call me the next day and then never does! Two days later he tells me he might have to reschedule because he got busy with work! So my question is if he is not into me why does he keep stringing me along? I ended up telling him that we can do whatever he wants, that he makes me smile & for that I will make time for him when and if he wants me to. I don’t want to marry the guy! I want to get tossed around a bed by him for a few hours & I told him that! I am usually so good at reading people, but this guy has me clueless! Did I put too much pressure on him by telling him how great he was in bed? Am I too eager? Does he feel out of his league? Does he think I’m out of his? Is he insulted that I only want to have sex with him? Do I only want to have sex with him? Am I used to getting what I want & he knows it? Bwahahahaha! Is he playing an intense game with me messing with my head, or is he just not into me? I’m not putting my life on hold or anything. I’ve been meeting other guys and going on a few casual dates. But that damn human nature has me wanting what I can’t have!

[lellow 1,713]

You're a casual thing. He will meet up with you when he has the time and the inclination, but beyond that, I wouldn't expect anything else.

I had a friend like that for a while. I was the one who would promise to call, send him a text out of the blue, or tell him how hot he was when we spoke, but between those times, I didn't really think about him.

Yes he was hot. Yes, it was great when we got together. But casual is casual. Which means for me, it was like going to a restaurant. I wanted to do it, it would be awesome when I got there, but I'd do it only when I had the time to.

So treat it the same way. If he calls - awesome. If he doesn't, don't bother thinking about it again.

[Humming Bird 275]

It sounds like he's married?

[newme2012 31]

I am with humming bird. Im thinking hes married or in a relationship and its hard to get the phone calls, text, and just his time. I know what you are looking for so find someone who is looking for what you want and is able to give it to you... Never settle no matter what the case is!!

[BandedWithLuv 0]

lellow, I like the way you think! I'm good with all that.

I am 99.9% sure he is not married and I wouldn't even consider hooking up with him if he were married. I know there is an ex girlfriend still somewhat in the picture, it would make sense that she might not be the "ex" he made her out to be... Like I said, I don't want to marry the guy lol.

[elcee 3,341]

I think you know the answer yourself already.

You have already said it was casual sex. He knows he can have it with you any time he wants it. He probably isn't that keen. He may hook up with you again if he doesn't have a better offer but if I were you I wouldn't hold my breath.

Casual sex is exactly that and from your message it is obvious that you are feeling anything but casual about this.

[MyDay2Shine 1]

I think it sounds like he is sneaking around on someone. It sounds like you are obviously a better person than this guy, I think you're probably giving him more credit than he is worth. Go with your instincts, if he was really into it, it would have happened. Don't waste your time, if things fall into place cool. If not, he's a dimwit & cheater anyway! I'm sure once you get out into the dating/hook up world you will find better guys to have kick ass sex with!

[NYsLegend78 29]

I think you should listen to lellow and ignore the others. Like you said you don't want to hook up with him and have anything serious and everyone else here is giving you advice as if you are trying to hook up with him and start a relationship.

[Krussell19 217]

I agree with the if its casual keep it that way and if it happens let it

But if its eatin at you like this are you maybe feelin a little more into him then just some casual booty?

[PandorasBox92264 61]

Your overthinking things, all the what if etc. Sounds like your on the bootie call backburner. Date with who you want, do what you want and don't worry about the what IF's.

If he calls, he calls then go from there! However my suggestion is next time get his number and if you want it, when I was single ANY bootie call I had would have to be available for my call as well, not just wait for theirs. Be proactive if that is what your seeking!

Good possibility he is attached to someone else (to what degree I don't know) if he didn't give you his number.

Don't worry people do not get bothered by you telling them "they rocked your world"!!!!

[BandedWithLuv 0]

Well guys, I still don't really know whats up with this guy. I don't obsess about him like I did at first. We still talk & even hung out a couple times. If he wanted a no strings attached hook up, that would have happened by now. We have a great time when we are together and honestly I have enough going on in my life that I don't really need anything more than that right now. From the questions he asks me and the comments he makes I suspect that he might be waiting to make a move until my divorce is final. Weather that move is going to be casual or serious, I don't know or even care for that matter. Or I could be totally wrong and he just likes flirting with me either way, he is a nice distraction from my real problems.

Oh and by the way Pandora, he gave me his number right away.

[Kate rules 43]

Next time he texts wait a few days to respond. "sorry had a lot going on. How u doing?"

If he's interested he will be intrigued as to what had you so occupied that you couldn't respond. If he's not, or is just into the game, he will take his time responding to you again.

[difa 114]

Next time he texts wait a few days to respond. "sorry had a lot going on. How u doing?"

If he's interested he will be intrigued as to what had you so occupied that you couldn't respond. If he's not' date=' or is just into the game, he will take his time responding to you again.[/quote']

Lol. I'd move on. You'd know if he was the guy for you.

[brittaney 5]

He.is attached. Also you are more into him than you are putting out. If it was straight causal sex you would not be posting and stressing over it. Let this go. Your self esteem is low to settle for this.