Working with the band ...

[babsintx3 0]

Hi Loopy,

Ditto to what everyone has said. I truly cant eat as much as I did before banding. And I do make healthier food choices because I really enjoy eating a piece of tilapia more than I like a hamburger. As a matter of fact, I hated fish before banding ate mostly fatty beef and pork and now actually eat more turkey and chicken, and fish more than anything else. Why? Because with good restriction coupled with food modification coupled with extensive therapy (I am not joking about this) I am able to make some smarter choices. Will this be the same for you? I dont know. A lot really does depend on you and the choices you make overall. When I was banded, I reached the bottom of the barrel, truly looked at myself in the mirror and realized I would be dead in less than 10 years being morbidly obese and not being able to climb up a flight of stairs huffing and puffing.

By the way, I do eat cheesecake, an occasional cookie, some chocolate, tortilla chips, popcorn etc but now its a serving size not the whole package. And I always make sure I get my Protein first before I eat the empty calories. And I try to fit it in within a 1300-1500 calorie a day program. DO I have crappy food days? Hell Yeah. And do I still fight the food demons... Every day...

Babs in TX

334/180ish

[senorita 0]

hey guys what is PBs????? RECENTLY BANDED so dont know.

[pugmum 0]

I guess I do not understand the frustration because I expected it. When I had my consult with my surgeon which was 2 hours long, he said having lap band surgery will result in exactly the same thing I face every day: Choices. Plain and simple. Whether I want to give up power or not (and I am a sober person for 5 years so I know the AA stuff) or simply want to admit to myself that I do not like to be uncomfortable (saying no to myself), the result is the same: I make choices and those choices have consequences. I'm not sure a zillion years of therapy would be worth it if it did not stress this enough.

I actually expected the band to make my life less enjoyable for awhile because I do not WANT to say no to some of my food choices. That's it. It is not an enigma, I simply am comfortable stuffing myself. BUT, the band's effectiveness helps because I know that it restricts me in areas where I do not restrict me or, at least, makes it a bit easier.

I have a family member who had lap band surgery last year. She completely eats around it and has lost about 30 pounds. She knows she is making poor choices. She is just not ready to change. Plain and simple.

Kelli

[PhotoNut 7]

Hey Senorita.. a PB is a productive burp. This occurs when we eat too fast, or dont chew a bite enough to make it small enough to easily pass through our stomachs where the band is, and the bite has no where to go but back up again. Much like a baby spitting up. A PB can be accompanied by "sliming" which is the body producing large amounts of saliva in an attempt to help the food pass. If food gets really stuck, it is possible that one might throw up as the body attempts to disoldge the food.

Concentrating on your meal, chewing really well, and eating slowly will usually prevent PBs, however, the bands are fickle. Something you had no probleme with yesterday, might cause a PB today. So eat slowly and always be aware of what's going on. Hope this helped.

[dacr64 0]

Wow.....and to think I started all this! Lou, I was the one asking why should we get the band if everyone is having such a hard time! Well, atleast we stirred up some attention. I have been researching this thing for some time...and I've gone ahead and made an appt to get started. A side note...make sure you research your doctor!!! How many he/she has done, malpractice, everthing.

Ok, back to business...when I started my research I did think, like many I'm sure that the band is the know all see all magical genie that makes life great again! After reading so many posts from so many different catagories my bubble has been burst. But, that's not a bad thing....I know I will still want to binge...I know I will still want a donute or a cookie or pizza....but like it was mentioned above...I won't be able to eat 6 donuts or a bag of Cookies or a whole pizza...that is a plus in my book! So, I will look at the band as a tool and not a magic wand...I will try my best to work with the band...that doens't mean I'll be perfect and it doens't mean I will have the life altering bolt of lightening...it just means I'll try and do the best I can and hope and pray for the best outcome.

I didn't become 100 pounds overweight over night...so I can't expect to wake up and be thin and healthy right!

Stay strong and keep plugging away...we have to learn to be better to ourselfs and not let a bad day overwhelm us....I know easier said than done...I'm full of self loathing so I've been down that road many times...I'm sure I will again but hopefully not many times.

[Desi80 1]

well i have to say I dont DEPRIVE myself of anything *shoving a piece of v-day chocolate in my mouth* if i want or crave something i eat it (except stuff that doesn't agree with my band). The difference is the amount i can eat. I can eat 1 or 2 Cookies not 6-8 cookies. I can eat a 4 piece chicken nugget meal, not a 10 piece with fries. And its WORKING, i'm loosing weight. When you are properly filled you can have these things in smaller portions.

[loopylou 0]

Thanx Aimze - lets stick together hey? :high5:

Kimmy Kimmy oh dear ....

I dont think I said anywhere in my post that I expected it to be easy.

gogetgoget - :biggrin1:

senorita - yes I love that book, especially the bit where she links where the fat sits on your body to particular emotional issues - I found that very powerful. (does my butt look big in this???? lol)

Heathergurl - no my doctor didn't tell me anything much at all. I didn't have a psych eval. he didn't even know I had been seeing a psychiatrist! He didn't ask. I haven't had a meeting with a nutritionist - before or after banding... and I didn't have any pre-surgery tests. He told me how the band would be fitted, risks involved and that he would adjust it so that i would lose 1kg per week - thats it. He will not answer questions by phone and is only up here once a month. The only thing he ever said about food was at my first fill where he told me I may now have trouble eating bread and red meat (no such luck I'm afraid - roast beef sandwich yesterday for lunch!!)

ah, Photonut, I dont think you quite deserve a vomit, maybe just a little hicupping PB :heh: But seriously, my emotional/eating issues are pretty complex and difficult, but man, I dont want to be a size 6, a nice comfortable 14 will suit me perfectly.

tvgrrl - grouphug!!!

Mikey - I guess I am rather sensitive to guilt-trips and I understand that others can find them helpful, but for me... gag-reflex all the way. And mostly I have just been picking out the helpful info from the 'official party-line', but I guess last night it got to me. I guess sometimes I would love to hear from those who are suceeding in losing weight even if they aren't following all the rules (thank-you Anwyn!!) and got it all together. I am just asking for a little warts-and-all talk here not this sanitised 'lets all be good little bandsters and eat our Protein first and go to heaven :flock: " crap that everyone seems to be spouting these days. Thanks for your measured and thoughtful response to my post .

New Sho - thanks for your kind support. I know people are only trying to be helpful when they try to encourage 'recalcitrant bandsters' to follow the rules but it just seems to upset and shame us more than anything - at least imho. If we have grown up fat we have had the whole world telling us how to lose weight and what to eat when, so I guess I would have liked our brothers and sisters here to understand that and listen with empathy instead of offering "the rules" as if they are a cure for everything. And I think we are quick to attack our fallen comrades because we are so frightened of becoming one of then (see for example that '25% failure rate' post). We dutifully repeat our mantra of "the rules" to ourselves to keep ourselves 'on track' and then when someone "falls" we have to repeat it louder and with more gusto to cover our fear - almost like 'failure' is catchy, and give the poor 'soldier' another lesson in "the rules" to calm ourselves down and remind ourselves that we (unlike them) are going to be ok. Thanx for your suggestion to read the journals because, no I haven't done that yet - any suggestions where to start?

Alexandra - I guess it is a bit of a balancing act isn't it. The idea is to be as "strong" or as "good" (although I prefer the terms healthy or consistent instead) as you can and then allow the band to minimise the damage when we are not. :whip:

leatha g - not regaining is so important for me too. I'm sure there will be fluctuations amd times when the scale goes up but what I really hated was the ol' "lose 30 put on 40" cycle that I was in - and I really do hope the band can help curb this tendency. :thumb:

mousecrazy - yes I am hoping the band will help me eat more moderately, for goddess knows I can't seem to do it myself!! And you are right about the rebelliouisness thing; 20 years of my family telling me "don't eat that!!" does send me into 'oppositional defiance disorder' mode when my lap-band family does it to me too!! (How was that? was I civil enough? )

Anwyn you rock!! :peace:

I'm thinking a BBQ meatlovers pan pizza sounds good - must get that Protein in!!!

babs - thanx for you story, I think I can live with lots of yummy fish and the occasional slab ....er ....slice ...er sliver of cheesecake. :laugh

Kelli - thankyou for sharing I am willing to make different choices, I am even willing to change, I just get so tired of all the propaganda - you know??:bored

Hey Deb,thanks for starting this :clap2: It brought up some angst that I didn't know was there!! My doc is the only one who does bands in my area, he is a good surgeon he just didn't go through the preparatory stuff with me. Even though I never expected the band to be easy I certainly didn't expect us all to be slavishly following silly rules and "shoulding all over" someone when they aren't doing do well.

Chalk me up for a vote for compassion.

Chalk me up for a vote against self-loathing.

Chalk me up for a vote for finding new ways to self-soothe.

And finally, chalk me up for a vote against guilt-trips.

(except of course for those who give guilt-trips they should feel bad!!! OOoooh noooo I just guilt-tripped the guilt-trippers!!! Shame on me!! )

[loopylou 0]

Thanks Desi - I was writing while you posted

[the best me 6]

I am just asking for a little warts-and-all talk here not this sanitised 'lets all be good little bandsters and eat our Protein first and go to heaven :flock: " crap that everyone seems to be spouting these days.

I'm a warts-and-all bandster, and my slow loss shows it. Don't get me wrong, I'm proud of the 55 pounds I have managed to take off and keep off over the past 2 years, but I'm so not done! SO, I need to folow my bandster rules better, maybe get another small fill, but I'm doing what works for ME, so I won't apologize. I'm better at being me than anyone I know, and someone else wouldn't wanna be me, anyway. I DO, however, have to think through it to get to that attitude, and the "bandster sayings" will sometimes make me gag. It's just not how I'm playing this game for whatever reason, so I'm right there with you.

And you are right about the rebelliouisness thing; 20 years of my family telling me "don't eat that!!" does send me into 'oppositional defiance disorder' mode

Relating!! This is part of the "whatever reason" I'm not losing fast.

Chalk me up for a vote for compassion.

Chalk me up for a vote against self-loathing.

Chalk me up for a vote for finding new ways to self-soothe.

And finally, chalk me up for a vote against guilt-trips.

Chalk me up for a vote for Loopylou as a Bandster on a Journey!!!! Yay, you!

[PhotoNut 7]

Ok, I'm tired and I'm grumpy but something's been working on my mind and I have to get it said.

Nobody ever said the band was going to cure emotional eating disorders. In fact, people with severe emotional problems that are manifested by their eating obsessions are not good candidates for the lapband.

Whether we want to believe it or not.. whether it bothers people or not.. whether it sounds condescening or sugar coated or like a stupid guilt trip the fact remains - If we eat around our band, if we dont eat healthily, if we stuff our pouch, if we feed on carbs that are easy to get past that band.. if we fight the "banster rules" we are NOT going to reach the goals we had hoped the band would take us to. (By the way, why is it that when anyone speaks the truth around here, its called a guilt trip?)

Everyone wants to thank others for being so honest. Well thank those who are being honest about the plain and simple facts too. If WE eat the foods that made US fat to begin with.. then WE are going to stay fat. The rules are not different for some than they are for anyone else. They are the same set of rules that we all have to face. Noone is being judgemental by saying so. Noone is living in a fantasy land by saying so. Noone is saying the next person is a failure for not 'working with the band'. There is nothing wrong with saying, 'If you dont do what you know you have to do to succeed, you wont succeed.' It is the truth.

I have eating issues too. I began at 307 pounds for crying out loud. I'm going to be 50 this year and I've been fat all of my life. I have sad stories about my youth.. sexual abuse, rejection, suicidal mom.. Hell, we all bring issues to this place. We are all here for the same reaons. I'm sick of this US and THEM mentality. We are all fat damnit. All of us are battling this.

When I say to this board, 'Why are we doing this or that??' I am asking myself too! And Im hoping to find answers alongside people who want the damn answers too. I'm sick of having to act like I can't be happy about my success, or the success of anyone here because somebody out there isnt having the same success. I'm sick of being accused of looking down my nose at those who are struggling. I do NOT do that. If I offer the truth in response to cries of "Why isnt this band working??" and if people jump up to claim that I'm just tossing guilt at the needy, then that's not my problem.

If you can eat chocolate and cake and pizza and still lose weight, then hoorah for you! That's great. I have never seen anyone say that's something to feel guilty about. However, I have seen posts directed at those who talk about their frustrations with the band while stating that they are not following most of the basic requirements for success with the band. What is wrong with saying, 'Hey, I can see what you might not be seeing. If you do this, it will help.'

No matter how much we wish it weren't so. The only one that's going to help us, is us.

And no.. I'm not perfect by any means. And if anyone dares get on here and tell me that I'm going to fail.. well, you're in for a fight. I'm not here to fail.. but if I do, it will be because I faced the same choices as all of us here do, and I decided to give up. If that happens, I will die a fat and miserable person. Dear God, I don't want that.

[loopylou 0]

Susan, I hope you do wonderfully and I hear what you are saying. I guess I am just facing my disappointment at realising that I will never be thin without following somebody elses rules. I feel ripped off by my doctor who did not tell me the truth before he banded me and I feel upset when I am reminded of that here on the forum. The last thing in the world I want is for people to feel bad for succeeding. But I think we are too quick to point people to "the rules" rather than attempting to begin healing some of those emotional scars that make us eat in the first place. I am not failing because I lack will-power, I am failing because I have been so damaged that eating into oblivion is the only thing that makes the pain stop - all the rules in the world aren't gonna fix that. So what is? What now? I guess I feel we sometimes use "the rules" as a bandaid, rather than trying to heal the real problem - the pain we are trying to cover with by eating. It seems a little shallow to point someone in the direction of "the rules" when they are almost suicidal with emotional pain. I dont know what the alternative is, but I know we won't find it that way. Perhaps you are right and I should never have been banded - but I have, so now what??

[Jachut 487]

I think perhaps the band might be your friend in the future Lou but obviously now, you have an awful lot of work to do in other areas of your life. You have your band in there now and can bide your time until you are well enough to work with it. But you need to be seeking other avenues of help well before that.

Being fat for a while longer, well is that really so bad if you can just concentrate on getting yourself to a point where you can even look at the whole situation without it all getting into such a terrible tangle of emotions?

Honestly, if I were in your shoes, I wouldnt be putting the pressure on myself to change physically until I felt mentally stronger. I know you're seeing somebody and I hope it gradually starts to bear fruit for you.

[K@t 38]

I made a response to this thread yesterday and then deleted it. I guess I wasn't seeing the whole picture. I was angry when I first read it, but now I'm just sad. It made me sad that lou was so sad and angry with herself and her band. And it made me sad that so many people thought the same way about their bands, and about the types of posts they see on this forum. I would just like to say, being a newbie here, that I have found nothing but love, support, and helpful information here. And I only hope for the best when I get banded. I know it won't be easy and I'll have to work, but I didn't need a doctor to tell me that. Everything in life takes work and dedication, from kids, to work, to weight loss in any form. I hope the rest of you guys can find the help your looking for. :cry

[NJChick 3]

Lou, your not alone. Guilt is my middle name. I took my ticker off of my siggy b/c every time I looked at it, I felt guilty because it was not moving and you know...its nobodys fault but my own.

I doubt my habbits of 40 years will totally change, what I'm hoping for is that my habbits be modified (for lack of a better word). I've always knew deep down that I would never change completely..... I'm just hoping I can change a little.

Heather, my doctor sent me to a nutritionalist and the only thing that chubby little lady told me was I'd be eating small portions equivalent to baby food jar size and my tummy would be the size of the tip of my thumb. She did not mention anything about healthy eating, not so much as a veggie was mentioned. I aught to go have lunch with her and bring my 12" sub and let her watch me eat it.... boy do they give out the wrong information. I know the changes I have to make, its doing them that is very hard. There really wasn't anything that lady could have told me that I didn't learn in 30+ years of dieting.

They psych evaluation was a joke.... they ask you if your spouse is supportive and how many times have you dieted. That was about it. Again there was nothing they could have told me that I already didn't know about dieting.

Even my doctor in the seminar that I attended said instead of eating an entire burger at McDonalds you'll only eat 3 bites. Did he say don't go there...no LOL. He did say we should eat low carb like but that was it as far as nutrition goes.

I'm not blaming any of these folks, I blame myself b/c I know better. But for the person who has not struggled with dieting they are poorly advised.

Lou, your not alone, and maybe we can modify and make baby steps towards getting healthier together.

What a great thread !!

[Alexandra 55]

I feel ripped off by my doctor who did not tell me the truth before he banded me and I feel upset when I am reminded of that here on the forum.

You have every right to feel ripped off by your doctor. It's really disturbing that the pratice would take and band patients without more preparation. I'm really sorry this is happening. But then it's a really good thing this forum and others like it exist! Information is crucial, and if doctors aren't providing it other bandsters can, thank goodness.

The last thing in the world I want is for people to feel bad for succeeding. But I think we are too quick to point people to "the rules" rather than attempting to begin healing some of those emotional scars that make us eat in the first place. I am not failing because I lack will-power, I am failing because I have been so damaged that eating into oblivion is the only thing that makes the pain stop - all the rules in the world aren't gonna fix that. So what is? What now? I guess I feel we sometimes use "the rules" as a bandaid, rather than trying to heal the real problem - the pain we are trying to cover with by eating. It seems a little shallow to point someone in the direction of "the rules" when they are almost suicidal with emotional pain. I dont know what the alternative is, but I know we won't find it that way. Perhaps you are right and I should never have been banded - but I have, so now what??

As someone pointed out earlier, the band can't do anything to heal emotional pain. All it can do is help us eat less. Is that something you want to do? Eat less? Lose weight? Maybe just meditating on that will help, sometimes. I'm not saying summon inner strength to get over urges...for me it's more of an inner weakening, letting go of the will to eat when I know I'm not hungry.

Emotional issues are, or should be, separate from the behavioral issues of eating. When I'm heading toward overdoing it, I don't think about rules or following anyone else's directions. I just try to remember that I want to not cause myself pain, I want to be thinner, and the food I'm hankering for will be there later when it really is time to eat again. I don't need it RIGHT NOW.

I'm not offering any advice on working on emotional issues; that's work to be done with a professional. I'm just sharing what's helped me when I have the desire to defy the band's message that I'm done eating.

After surgery may not be the best time to be deciding if you want the band in the first place, but better late than never. Presumably a desire to lose weight is what brought you to it in the beginning, so keep that in focus if you can. :biggrin1: