Trouble In Paradise...

[happytobemefinally 1]

My lap band procedure happened 2 years ago. It was slow at first but it picked up and the next thing I know I went from undesired to 50+responses a day on single sites. You would assume I'm happy but there's always been one thing I've left out from date 1-3....THE LAPBAND...and thats the reason I'm here...

Before you even comment I should mention I know there's a guy just "waiting for me" if I am honest and open but truth is the world is a scary place and those that have been 300+ understand that. Those that have been overweght since childhood and have dealt with life long rejection and self esteem issues understand where I am coming from even more.

Spanx is my partner in crime...without them I would be nothing more than a flabby mess trying to be accepted by society. I guess it's just easier to put on my Spanx and pretend I'm a firm size 12 that gets the attention I've been missing for 30+ years.

Being heavy and bullied and unwanted has made me quite the cynic. I'm not sure exactly how or when to address the lap band issue when dating and haven't found many people on here that have had this problem.

Overall this is just a bump in my happily ever after. I understand everyone wants a mate but if given the choice between 130+lbs of excess weight and a boyfriend/husband I would and will always choose the lap band. And that I am happy for!!!

[lellow 1,713]

It's funny but a fellow lapband friend of mine and I were talking about this just yesterday. About how losing weight makes you cynical about other's intentions. That you get rather put off by how superficial others can be. I became single and was dating after I lost the weight and the stories I could tell could fill a book . But suffice to say that even today, settled into a new relationship, I have often wondered if my partner would have chased me quite to hard, or would shower me with quite so much attention and love, or spoil me quite so much, if I was heavy.

(he would, but this is what I mean by cynical!)

[sandybraman 18]

I'm not sure why you feel like you'd have to tell someone in a dating situation. Perhaps after you get more into a relationship, before it gets intimate, but you don't have to tell anyone that you've lost X lbs. If someone asks, tell them you've really been concentrating on eating right and getting enough exercise - which is the truth, isn't it?

When you got banded, you left that 30 years behind - and I know exactly how you feel. I've dieted since I was 11 years old. So pull up your Spanx and just act like the beautiful woman you are and don't worry about how the right person might feel. If he's the right person, he'll be extremely proud and supportive of you and if he's not - well, then he's not the right person. You did this for YOU, and that's what is important.

Please let us know how it goes - got you in my prayers!