Found marajuana & need advice

[shanna 0]

It's been washed and dried, Delarla. You think it's still good? Probably not, oh well.

You're very right about where it's headed - the porcelain god will be happy tonight!

[the best me 6]

SMOKE IT!

Or you could SMOKE IT! (that was funny)

[NeenBand 7]

Pot is not THAT expensive. In fact, it's the cheapest drug out there. He's 22 years old. I would give him a break. Just tell him you found it, you don't approve, and he has 2 weeks to find another place.

A bag of pot in my area can go for $200 or more. I don't think that's cheap. Regardless, it isn't the point, if the guy has the extra money to spend on getting high, he's got the extra money to get his family their own place. That was my point.

Yea, I'm a "tough-love" type.

Shanna:And the air fresheners and candle? Dead give-away that he is smoking in the house. Knowing he was smoking it in my house with my kids would make me so angry.

[Penni60 45]

and who said he was using it in your home? it was in his pocket, right? I mean, if he was smoking it in your house, that's one thing, but this was his personal stuff that you found it in.

The fact that it was found IN your house is a major issue with me. It really doesn't matter if he was smoking it in the house or not. The fact that if a cop had a reason to search the place and found it there could get your whole family in trouble. It would cast doubt with everyone you come in contact with and it could follow you for the rest of your life.

Baby or no baby kick them to the curb. I don't mean to sound so harsh but the only way to have any opportunity for them to learn is to make it hard on them. I had a similar situation only this was my daughter and her boyfriend were smoking and storing their stash in my house. I told the boyfriend to not come around as long as he was smoking and grounded my daughter plus I MADE them flush the stuff down the toilet. It never happened again. I also threatened to call the cops and have them search my house for other drugs and paraphenalia. That took care of that issue.

Kick them out IMMEDIATELY!! What if your 13 or 11 year old had found it instead of you? What is to say they wouldn't have experimented with it and you don't know if it was laced with some other harder drug. The situation could be so much worse, so keep it from getting to that point. Kick them out NOW!!!

[princess_n_thep 2]

The fact that it was found IN your house is a major issue with me. It really doesn't matter if he was smoking it in the house or not. The fact that if a cop had a reason to search the place and found it there could get your whole family in trouble.

Not true. If it is in possession of the nephew, it is his. If it is in the house, it is common area and no one can be placed as the owner unless they admit it. No one would be in serious trouble unless additional issues are in place (growing it, storing large amounts, having packaging materials to indicate sale) Plus, a very small amount of marijuana isn't a HUGE issue. Hell, it is only a misdemeanor anymore. Still a felony on the books, but a Misdemeanor charged (unless it is A LOT).

I don't think the criminal aspect is the question here, just the moral aspect and how your family views the use of this drug. I will tell you all that some of the biggest recreational drug users are .... professionals (lawyers, doctors, university professors, teachers, etc) not the dirt bag that has a baggie of pot on them. I think somehow they have "evolved" into Meth. Today, your not a true dirtbag until you are smoking or slamming Meth.

I am in no way advocating the use of marijuana. But I just want to put this into perspective and have a good conversation and debate about it.

[shanna 0]

Princess_n_thep - Thanks for your professional point of view. I guess he would be considered a "mini dirtbag". He does work, but takes days off at a time. He takes care of his family, but has friends Vaness doesn't approve of, etc...

Well, we had our talk. He was very embarrassed and was very understanding that he had to be out of the house by tomorrow. He thanked me and Ken for letting them stay this long and said he was very sorry to do this to us.

I guess it went pretty well, for what it was.

Thanks again everyone for your input today - you have been there for me when I needed it most.

Lots of love,

[princess_n_thep 2]

Where will they go? Are they prepared for a move as of tomorrow? I don't mean to sound prying, but since you came here for advice.... what about giving them some time (because of the baby) to find a new home?

[fun4matt 0]

Wow!!! It could be wose throwing them out tomarrow. If I was thrown out tomarrow I would have no place to go. Except a nice hotel on credit cards. but, how long can that last. You need to be tough, but, be family and family sticks together. They beat the hell out of each other when someone screws up. But, They still stick together. Italian family

[sunnykim 0]

Ok i know pot is bad but its not the worst thing out there. Pot is not expensive eather you can get a fair amout of pot for 10 bucks. Dont kick them out. They have a baby! I think you should have a talk with him . Tell him you dont aprove and to never disrespect your house like that agian. Dont be heartless... Where would the world be with out second chances..

Kim

[DevilMayKare 1]

SMOKE IT!

SMOKE IT??!

OMG! Don't do that!

A combination of the munchies and PBing while stoned could be a baaaaad trip!

[nickie456 0]

It sounds like he knew how you and your DH felt about Pot. You were nice enought to give him and his family a place to stay. He should have respected your rules for your house. He did not, so he should not be in your house.

But on the other hand, How many here can say they have never tryed pot. Even President Clinton smoked pot, he just didn't inhale lol.

My point is, it's your house your rules, he should have respected you and your family.

[chichigirl 1]

This is really none of my business, but your story has hit me very hard. Has anyone considered getting him into rehab? You know if he has a serious problem with this, he made need more help than anyone realizes.

I certainly do not condone any type of drug use, but unfortunately it's out there and these kids can't seem to stay away from it. His situation sounds very similar to a situation my very own nephew had, he was dating a younger girl, only 16 at the time, he was 18, they ended up with a baby with special needs, autism, and then a year and half later, they had a second child, a beautiful little girl. Their relationship was extremely tumultous (sp) they always seem to be fighting and they lived with different family members always going from one place to another. My nephew got very caught up with drugs and alcohol, self medicating himself from all of his problems, in the worst way possible. This past December he couldn't take any of it any longer and he took his own life, at 22 years old. You have no idea how much of a loss it is until it's too late. We believe that the drinking and the drugs played a very strong part in his decision to take his life. I still can't believe he's gone, I loved him dearly, he had a really good heart, he just went down the wrong path.

I certainly understand you and your husbands concern for your own children and the zero drug tolerance policy is an absolute. You cannot allow it from him or anyone else. I am just trying to bring a different perspective to you to consider after what I have just been through. I will keep you all in my prayers and I hope you all can get him to get help.

God Bless you and your family. I wish all of you the very best.

Cindy

[leatha_g 4]

Tough thing to do. I commend you. You may be impressing one of the most valuable lessons on this person he can ever learn. So many times, we mollycottle people to make it easier on them, only to see that years later, they're still manipulating they're way around and not taking responsibility for themselves.

I have a sister who is a heroin addict. She started out with pot (as so many of us did). This weekend we spend trying to decide what to do with her children (whom we've allowed exceptions for her behavior over and over and over for). They need a home. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with standing up for what is right and lawful. Tell him you love him and it breaks your heart, but you love him ENOUGH to impress upon him that this lifestye has its consequences and this is only a minor one.

[jqpublic 1]

Id take the kid and the girl first, to some place like Social services or Catholic Charities Bureau or even Lutheran Social Services help them find a place to stay.Because he not taking care of them! then ask him to leave,You have young kids there place in your home for dope,weed, pot ,what ever you want to call it.

Its Illegal and get it out of your house.

[HunnyBun 2]

A bag of pot in my area can go for $200 or more. I don't think that's cheap.

Holy smokes! $200? How big is the bag? I'd think you can get a good high on $10 a day or so. Been a while since I've been in that kind of crowd.

The thing that most people don't understand about marijuana usage is that it has many consequences that aren't very obvious. For one thing, pot is an emotional drug which can cause a feeling of need for it. It causes depression and anxiety.

The worst part is, people who smoke pot tend to rely on it for relaxation, and that is not a way to live life. Relaxation should be achievable in a healthy way, taking a walk, a long bath, vacationing, gardening, not hiding someplace and getting baked. Obviously you'd have to hide cuz most people don't approve. It is afterall illegal.

Just as with alcohol, only in moderation is ok. People who drink too much have many problems. Same thing with pot, if it's a once a month type of thing, I wouldn't be so worried, but if he can't help himself and smokes in the house, on a weeknight, more than once per week... it is probably a problem and he needs to stop.