Pre Op Surgery Causing Stress With Spouse?

[bandedgirl2012 14]

Is anyone's significant other/ spouse having some issues with the change that is about to take place? if so how did you handle it? My hubby has flipped out on me all of a sudden?

[Amanda1982 142]

Well....lets just say I'm 60 pounds lighter and newly single lol. I just ended a 8 year relationship so I know what your are going through.

[loretta\ Baconton Georgia 10]

He is scared. Most men have some type of insecurity as do women. He may feel that you have plans to dump him when u get all skinny and stufff.. people do it.. Maybe u need to sit down and talk and if he does not understand that this is for your health and your self worth.. then bumppppp himm..

[ready4therealme 41]

I am happy to say my husband SO FAR has been very supportive, even drinking and eating the only things I can have when he is at home our anytime we are together. But I can say he asked a couple of times if I am going to leave him when I get "skinny". So I bet your significant other is just worried about things changing after your weightloss. Communication is the key! Talk with him and help him understand you have worries too but you are doing this to be a HEALTHIER YOU!

[bandedgirl2012 14]

Thank you for your responses! I think he is just scared ..... or worried or nervous......

[Fadeout 4]

My husband knows that I have serious insecurities that I have struggled to overcome for years. In general it has given him the impression that I lean on him for inner strength and self esteem which has had its cons of course. I have been teaching myself to become more emotionally independant to stop that negative cycle, a journey that also affected my decision to get banded. Soon after I told him i was pretty shocked to hear him ask me if I was going to get slim and all hard to get and turn my back on him!! This is coming from a man who has tons of ego, rarely expresses his vulnerability. Since i can relate to being vulnerable, so I have openly and repeatedly offered words of reassurance on how the band is an improvement for OUR life because I will be happier and healthier WITH HIM.. Even though he seems to be back to his normal, big headed self

[Fadeout 4]

Oops double post.

[screeden 21]

my husband got all weird on me when i started losing weight last summer, about 2 months after i had it done.

i don't know if he was just scared that i was going to change after i lost the weight or what, but it was like he was trying to push me away. i had to assure him that i was not going to change or leave him when i lost the weight. i was skinny when we got together, so why would i leave him when i got skinny again. men are weird sometimes. LOL

[icestorm12132008 39]

has he gained weight? is he scared that maybe you will not find him attractive after you get to your goal? talk to him about it

[Gonnabeslim1day 80]

I can understand the doubts they may have. Hell my husband came right out and asked me when I started my process. I was like why would I do that? I clearly said that I was not doing this to be skinny but hell to actually be able to go sit at a booth with out worrying, ride the rides at the fair, ovulate more regularly I mean I can keep going. My husband is 160 and me 281 doesn't look good anymore. I mean I was at the mall the other day and what hurt me the most that the counter rep asked my husband "is that your sister?" I was like WTH?? In my mind that bothered me . GOOD luck

[bandedgirl2012 14]

has he gained weight? is he scared that maybe you will not find him attractive after you get to your goal? talk to him about it

we gained weight together as some couples do, I just want to make that change to be healthier and lead a more active lifestyle...

[Regnu 9]

My husband doen't need to loose as nearly as much weight as I do, but could stand to loose 35-40 lbs. This is a chance for both of us to start eating healthy. I just won't be able to eat as much.

[batiircabur 25]

I know exactly what your going through. My husband was gun-ho about the seminar. He went, listened, had questions. Then about a month into making the decision he started wearing a tummy pusher I asked why and he got very defensive so i left it alone. Then he bought a guitar out of the blue, when I asked him about that he also got defensive. One day I just sat him down and pretty much made him tell me what is going on. He broke down telling me that I'm going to change, not only physically but mentally. He said that I was going to leave him. It took me a good 4 months of almost everyday talking with him. Now he is fine with the idea. He even has said he would cut out soda because I wont be able to drink it. You just have to give him time and let him react.

Good luck and congrats on the band-day!

[bandedgirl2012 14]

So hubby is on the weighloss bandwagon!!!!! he is watvhing what he eats and we went to the store and is ready to eat healthier! we only purchased chicken, turkey, and fish!

not that I can eat any of it anytime soon! But very happy he is supporting me! We have had several discussions on why I am doing this and what OUR goals are!

Thank you everyone for your comments/advise and just letting me vent!

[Shannalee 4]

Im sure he is just stressed. His wife is having surgery and as we all know there are risks. Change is hard for everyone. My husband is definatly stressed but i find the issue is usually someting he just doesnt have enough information on. I'm hoping things calm down after surgery and everything is settled:)