Unrealistic Weight Goal ??

[pink dahlia 2,513]

so im 1 month post op, down 15 lbs a nd doing fine with 1 fill so far. the other night i attended my monthly support group meeting and during the meeting the know it all blowhard " leader" monopolized the 1st 35 mins of the meeting with all his stories about his life, weight loss, family stories etc. i finally politely interrupted him a nd explained that being new to this i had some questions. he asked me what my weight loss goal was . i told him i would be happy if i got to 140 lbs, but i would be really happy if i surpassed that and got back down to 125 lbs. his flat response was "well, 125 is not going to happen, thats just not realistic ." ( im a 53 yr old woman , 5'3 and was 125 all through my teenage years and mid 20's. i did;nt start having a weight prob until 30. im now down from a high of 225 to 215 in 6 weeks- yay me !) i though how the hell do you know you blowhard ? you;ve known me all of 35 mins, and all you've done is talk about yourself ?? anyone have an opinion on this weight loss goal ?? realistic or not ? thanks !!

[twi 40]

The only person that can say its unrealistic is you. I weight various ers up and down from 115- 240 I now wt 212. My goal is 145 then ill see were I am comfortable after that. When I was 115 ( for short time ). I didn't feel healthy but I lost the wt wrong ect. And now I'm taking wt off healthy/slowly. I think I want to be a little less than 145 but will find my sweet wt after I get there. With your size I don't see why you couldn't be 125. Just see how you feel when you get there. Do not let neg. People derail what you want.

[Cazzy 725]

The realism about your goal comes from the work you are willing to do to get to where u want to be, not from some other persons opinion. I love proving people like that guy wrong !

I am the biggest loser at the hospital i had my sugery in, thats my realism

[PrtyAntOvrYt 6]

Hey anything is possible! I've lost over 250lbs with the Band and I still have 40lbs to go! I want to be 170! A normal BMI for me since I am 5-10! I'd love to be 150's and maybe I will try for that once I get to 170! I hate people who tell me it's impossible to get to your goal with the LapBand! It's not! I am proof and so many others are here to tell you that it is totally possible! You have to work hard, yes! But if you're willing to follow the rules and listen to your body, you will reach your goal! Don't listen to this blowhard! Go for it!

[Humming Bird 275]

I went to a basic BMI calculator and put in your hight and goal weight. It said that it was 22.1.

That can be done if that is what you want. It is in the "normal" range. You will just have to see how you feel when you get close. It is "realistic". That guy has no idea what it is like to be a 5' 3" woman. I tend to like my BMI a bit higher, like 23-24 because when I go below that I look a bit sick. Could I get to a BMI of 22? Yes, with ease at this stage in the game. If I would exercise and only eat healthy foods it wouldn't take me long at all.

[brenda62 47]

My nut told me to make 180 my goal ( I started at 304) but I set my goal at 160. I am now 169 and am starting to think I may go to 150. A normal BMI for me would be 154. So do what you want and let your body tell you where it wants to be. Know-one knows you better than yourself

[stateofzen 46]

The only thing that may stand in your way is your age and the fact that 125 might not look as good on you now as it did when you were in your teens and twenties. But you get to set your goals, no one else.

I know that during the seminars that the local surgeons do, they continually warn people that they shouldn't have the surgery if they think they're going to be skinny when it's all over. I believe they do that because on average, most people won't lose all of their excess weight. But heck, just look around you here-- there are lots of super-star success stories from people at all ages and starting weights so obviously it IS possible with the a well-tuned band, a committed bandster, and possibly a little luck.

[Cocoabean 430]

so im 1 month post op, down 15 lbs a nd doing fine with 1 fill so far. the other night i attended my monthly support group meeting and during the meeting the know it all blowhard " leader" monopolized the 1st 35 mins of the meeting with all his stories about his life, weight loss, family stories etc. i finally politely interrupted him a nd explained that being new to this i had some questions. he asked me what my weight loss goal was . i told him i would be happy if i got to 140 lbs, but i would be really happy if i surpassed that and got back down to 125 lbs. his flat response was "well, 125 is not going to happen, thats just not realistic ." ( im a 53 yr old woman , 5'3 and was 125 all through my teenage years and mid 20's. i did;nt start having a weight prob until 30. im now down from a high of 225 to 215 in 6 weeks- yay me !) i though how the hell do you know you blowhard ? you;ve known me all of 35 mins, and all you've done is talk about yourself ?? anyone have an opinion on this weight loss goal ?? realistic or not ? thanks !!

Is the facilitator of the meeting a medical professional? Does he have any clue what your weight history is? It's one thing for a support leader to give a short background so you can connect. Pretty rude to comment like that, if you ask me.

Goal setting should be between you and your surgeon or primary care doc, in my opinion. And ultimately, it is up to you.

At one of my pre-op classes, the leader (not sure of her qualifications) cautioned that many bariatric patients do not get to a normal BMI post-op. She went on to say that it is because for many they start at a very high BMI. Excess skin sometimes does not allow for enough pounds lost to enter a normal BMI range. For others, they just don't lose it all. Studies of ALL bariatric procedures show that none of them provide 100% of excess weight loss. So, those of us that do lose 100% have done something right to get there, or there is someone in the background who has not lost near enough to make the average less than 100%...does that make sense? It was a nicer way of saying what was said at your meeting, and not directed at anyone.

But, I am sorry, at a support group, when someone says they have questions, the questions should have been addressed. You should not have been told you are going to fail. Did you get your questions answered?

[xavier 153]

I think everyone's goal can be their range of normal BMI. I think your group leader has no business making statements like that! Disregard!

[Danny Centeno 1]

Sweet heart that is bull pardon my french their .My best friend is a lap bander she strated at 256 and shes 115 lbs 1 year post op she happy whit her body. I you think your ideal weight is that than go for it do not let anyone tell you other wise.

[54Shirley 105]

First Congrats on your loss !

Second, don't ever let anyone try yo change whats in your Heart, and what your Desire is.

If you want it bad enough, you'll get there.

Some people keep rolling threw with there WL, and some slow down , and they readjust a few things to get

where they want to be.

It's doable, it's all in your control, and it's up to you !

[vlp1968 83]

I agree with the others that your facilitator was way out of line. However, I personally think you may look a little too thin at 125 given your height. Like someone else said, 125 may look different on you now. You may find another 10 pounds or so goes a long way in keeping body parts like your face from looking as saggy and wrinkly. That being said, I wouldn't worry about it now. You have your whole journey ahead of you. Good luck and keep up the great work! You had an awsome first month!

[bev712 28]

I had the same experience, altho not at the group but right in the psychologist's office. I'm 5'2", am aiming for 128 pounds (my 20's weight, and I still have the photos!), and when she told me I should expect to be only174 pounds - a 30 pound loss - I hit the roof. I told her, you don't know me, Dr. L. doesn't know me, and I can do anything I set my mind to. Many people here told me the same thing.

The problem is that the psychologists get hung up on the AVERAGE weight loss, which is 60% of the ideal weight loss. For me, that calculation was incorrect anyway - it should have been 40 pounds and 163, which is still 'way too much for me. So I just keep telling myself that I'm NOT AVERAGE and will be one of those who "beats the spread" and gets down to where I want. And so can you.

[lellow 1,713]

Your goal weight is your goal weight, not your facilitator's. I'm 5'4" and I got down to 117lbs and I stayed there for 6 months, before deciding that I'd like a little more weight on, so I actively put on weight until I was 130lbs and that's where I've stayed.

So obviously I don't think you getting to 125lbs is unrealistic at all. If I can do it, anyone can. I was no 20 year old either. I was 38 when I got my band, and the weight I lose was directly proportional to how much I worked my ass off.

[pink dahlia 2,513]

thanks everyone for your supportive comments. i WILL get to a healthy weight whether its 125, 140 or whatever my body decides is right for me. im looking at this as a long term commitment to a happier, healther me. the best is yet to come !