Losing Weight "naturally" - A Rant

[petuniap 2]

I got banded about 3 years ago and have been working on losing my weight ever since. It's been slow going, lots of stops and starts, lots of periods were I did well and then "rested" for awhile...meaning, I didn't continue losing but didn't gain too much back either. In the past year, I picked up an exercise program, got much more stringent with what I'm eating and lost another good chunk of weight. I passed some thresholds, sized out of the plus sized stores, (briefly) hit the "100lbs pounds lost" mark etc. The biggest threshold seems to be how people view me. All of a sudden, people I have known for a long time are now saying "wow, you've lost a TON of weight, you look great!", even though they've seen me go through the progression. I'm by no means thin yet but I guess I'm more in a "normal" range of overweight now as opposed to whatever they were seeing me as before.

I was having a conversation with a coworker about this tonight and she said..."well, you should be very proud of the accomplishment..you did it naturally. So many people do it by *getting surgery*, or crash dieting or taking pills". Obviously, she doesn't know I'm banded. I'm assuming she thinks I'm *NOT* in the surgery pool because I didn't suddenly lose a lot of weight. Only 2 people in the world know, my mom and my best friend. And the reason I don't tell anyone is because of what my coworker said. If people know you are banded, then all of sudden, you cheated somehow. You didn't do it naturally. And that pisses me off! I totally *worked* for this weight loss. I'm still working on it! I still fight myself every day about what I am eating and how much and when and why. There's no "cheating" involved. Would I be here today if I didn't get banded. Definitely not. God knows I tried. But I resent the thinking that using this tool somehow negates all of my hard work in people's eyes. It's like saying using a shovel to dig a ditch negates the work that went into that ditch. It's only valid if you used your hands. I call bullshit!

I don't know what the solution is. A part of me wants to be that pioneer and explain to people that I did lose weight naturally but used the band as a tool to help me get to where I am. But the other part of me doesn't want to risk losing the approval I get from friends and family for losing weight. I'm afraid if I tell, that no matter how I explain it, they'll still label me a "cheater". I know I shouldn't care what people think but I'm not at that point yet. I do care what people think about some things. And this is one of them.

Does anyone else run into this? How are you all dealing with it?

[journey4me 23]

I so agree with you! I have only told two people too. My cousin who is like a Sister and my best friend. I don't want to be judged for how I lose the weight. I am doing this to be healthy so if anyone i know is waiting for me to suddenly "naturally" drop 75pounds it's not gonna happen and I know that. I'm not waiting to get healthy because i might be harshly judge for "cheating" and losing the weight. I need to lose it now and I don't need to feel like I am watched the whole way! So that's why I have limited who I told. It took me a while to decide, but think this is the best way for me. Happy losing!

[motivatedlap 8]

Same here- I only told a couple of close family members, my boss and one coworker. I *only* want to lose about 50 pounds, so I don't want to hear people say, "Why go through surgery? You don't need to lose that much. You could do it with diet and exercise." Yeah, maybe I could, but then it would just come right back like it has every other time I lost it- I'm doing this not only to lose it, but to keep it off. I don't want to wait until I have diabetes or high blood pressure- both of which run in my family on both sides- or heart disease which has killed 3 out of 4 of my grandparents.

Even after I lose the weight, I still won't tell people because frankly, it's none of their business. I might tell more of my family at a later point, but again, with that will come judgement- they are all obese and made fun of me when I did Weight Watchers- can't imagine their reaction to WLS!

Wanted to add too that when people ask what I'm doing to lose the weight, I say "smaller portions, healthier choices and exercising more". Maybe that's lying by ommission, but it's also the truth. If I thought someone was *truly* interested because of their own weightloss struggle, not out of some curiosity to know a bit of gossip, I would share with them. Otherwise, I'm keeping it to myself!

[jayres14 17]

I guess I am different than everyone else. I tell anyone that asks. I am not ashamed by what I did, I am proud of my dedication and hard work. I could give a sh*t less if they think I "cheated" or didn't do it "naturally." Does a mother cheat if she has a baby through IV? Is my grandmother cheating life since she has a pacemaker? Is my best friend's mom "taking the easy way out" by getting a breast job after losing a breast to cancer? The medical world offers us an abundance of things to increase our happiness and health. I guess it is more of a guilty feeling to accept a compliment for losing weight when you keep the key to your weight loss a secret, and let's face it, the band IS the key. If a co worker or a friend or even a mere acquaintance asks me what I am doing to lose weight, I simply tell them I got a lap band and am now eating less than I used to. End of story!! I don't go in to details, I don't explain my decision, I don't ask their opinions. I may follow up with the comment that it's the best thing I ever did. That usually keeps the nay sayers quiet. Maybe it is my bluntness that actually catches THEM off guard. I haven't had a single person say anything negative to me and it's been almost 6 months. I'm not saying you should yell out to the world you got banded. Everyone has a preference on who they share this info with, but be prepared to hear the ignorant comments from people that you just have to soak up and can't rebuttal.

[elcee 3,341]

People that have never had the issue do not understand how hard it is.

I don't see why doing things naturally is better.I had 2 babies by Caesarean - was that cheating?

Does it really matter anyway, it's not like it is some kind of competition? The only prize that you will have won is better health and better self esteem and that can't be taken away from you because you supposedly cheated!

[B-52 7,113]

Frankly my dear, I don't give a ,,,,,well, It's ME loosing the weight for MY own health, self esteem, etc.

It's really no one else's business what I do with my personal life.

I have told no one but a few close family members

And I am glad I did. But even out of those few, there is one person who everytime I see her has another "Horror" story to tell me about a surgery gone bad.

Ironicly, She is in greater need for surgery than I am/was.

[Joyce Real 21]

I understand, how you all feel, but I personally don't much care If they discredit my work on this journey, I appreciate it if they support me. I have told everyone who wanted to listen about my surgery. My friends have been supportive, and they see that I still have to work at it. I think many expected me to lose fast, but they are seeing that it is slower. Nobody, has accused me of copping out. I explain it to anyone who asks. I feel like I am making them more informed. To me it is more important to get a grip on my health than worry about if someone thinks I took the easy way out. I mean there is a terrible coronary artery disease in my family, and my brother died from it when I was in the hospital having my surgery! My sister is in the hospital now fighting for her life. I know I made a good decision and will fight for my life. I say keep your head up and ignore the stuff people say, I wonder how that person would have felt if you had told them all about your band and how hard you still have to work with the tool you decided to use. Probably would have thought twice about making assumptions on a subject they really do not understand.

[RidiculousCan'tCancel 14]

I told everyone, not sure why. I guess I'm just one of those "blunt b*****s" lol And I don't really care if they agree or not with my decisions to use the surgery as a tool to lose weight. Obviously if we could all do it "naturally" then 68% of people in the US would NOT be overweight. My family/husband/kids are all super supportive of my decision so the rest of the world can kiss my not-for-much-longer fat booty! Don't ever regret your decision to use a medical tool to assist you in getting healthy! You still have to work your butt off to lose the weight - this is not an easy journey we are on. Ignore the haters as my kids would say!! And I've had kids naturally, with drugs, without drugs and a c-section on the last one - none of them were MORE my baby because of the way they were born! I agree with all the above posts - its a TOOL, let's use it!

[honk 780]

I told my family (though my sister discussed it with my niece so she would understand this is a medical intervention for me becuase my weight was killing me. This was not just about vanity and wanting to be thin. She luckily has her pateral grandmother's body tall and very thin; size zero), a couple personal friends, and some people from my gym. The only reason I told them was because they saw me comming in every day for a year and a half BEFORE sugery and loosing 80 pounds. Two of the ladies had lapband one had it removed (she kept it too tight was living on liquids a year after surgery); and the other is losing slowly. Any one who actually knows me, sees that I eat outragously healthy food 90% of the time and go to the gym 7 days a week. If that's cheating well so be it.

I guess the reason I haven't told misc. co-workers is I don't need food police. In my experience even if I eat greek yoghurt for Breakfast and skinless chicken breast and plain veggies for lunch and dinner 7 days a week; it will be that 2 in square of office birthday cake once a month that they will remember.

[stateofzen 46]

I don't tell people I'm not close to (i.e. coworkers who aren't also personal friends) because it's really none of their business and I've gotten enough judgment from other people about my weight and eating-- I'm not interested in more. Now that I'm a year and 4 months out, I feel like it's too late even if I wanted to tell-- some people might feel "betrayed" even if they legitimately have no right to feel that way. I don't really regret being cautious, but I do feel like I'm in a corner where it would cause problems now for me to "come out" to acquaintances who have been very complimentary about my losses. I suppose if someone came right out and asked I would definitely tell the truth, but so far that hasn't happened.

People who haven't struggled with true obesity (and even some who have) are still very ignorant about what it takes to successfully lose and KEEP OFF excess weight. The research is very clear that dieting in the traditional way does not create long-term weight loss, and in fact, stimulates long-term weight gain, but "common sense" says it's so easy to lose weight- just don't eat as much and exercise! I think it is going to be a difficult thing to change opinions about bariatric surgery, but it will happen someday. In the meantime, you have to do what is right for you. This is YOUR LIFE.

[nurse535 30]

I talked about the surgery before I had it, and I've talked about it since then. I haven't gotten any negativity about it at all. One person said she wouldn't personally choose to have weight loss surgery but she wasn't judging me for my decision. I don't care what people think about what I eat - I never have been a perfect eater, I never will be, I will always enjoy certain foods and the band has done exactly what I wanted it to so far. A lot of people can lose weight, but the vast majority of those who lose can't maintain the weight loss. I wanted the band to help me lose but ultimately what I want the band to do is keep me from "re-fatting" lol.

My view on things is that by being open about my surgery I am educating people on what "real-life bariatric surgery" is like. This way they can say "I read blah blah blah on the internet, but I know this one girl who lost ____ lbs with a lap band and has kept it off for ____ and she didn't have any complications." The reason people think weight loss surgery is a "quick fix" is because they haven't seen first hand what people who have surgery have to go through.

[Humming Bird 275]

Did I pack on all the weight "naturally"? With all the fast food and chemicals and who knows what goes in the food we eat now ....... ehhh....I'm with B-52, frankly, I don't give a damn. The lap band is what made over 100 pounds drop off my body and I could care less if it is natural or easy or hard or drastic ........ It is the only thing that has worked for me and I am so very happy! That is what really matters.