Talking W/husband,family & Friends

[Mrs.Rogers 0]

I have just recently decided to finally talk with my doctor and get on with the process of seeing if my last option is in fact an option for me. After trying so many different ways to lose weight and failing every time. I'm a newly wed and even tho he makes me the happiest woman alive i still find one subject impossinle to talk about..my weight!! Does anyone have any advise on how to talk to him about this comfortably and without feeling weird!? I know I need to talk to him about it before making my final decision.

[SageTracey 608]

Seems to me you have made a lifetime decision to be with your husband and now you want to make another decision which will ensure that that lifetime is long and healthy. Gaining control of your weight will make it easier to conceive if that is your plan. Tell him that you need to change this part of your life and that he will benefit.

My husband is my greatest champion and I hope that yours will be too.

[Mrs.Rogers 0]

He has always been a man that is interested in bigger girls. My weight doesn't bother him but I still have my own feelings that it does. But I know that that is just my own insicurity. I don't know how to bring up the subject I've built up so much on I don't care about my weight blah blah blah, ya know all the fake talk trying to convince myself it doesn't matter. But it does.

[kdalesandro7733 4]

The lap band is not just a way to get rid of insucurites (although that is an added bonus lol) its about being healthy and being able to spend a long future with your husband

maybe try explaining that to him! hope this helps[

url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/w4pTSHD/]

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[readytogoforit 172]

you have to start with him.

I hope you have been reading posts on this forum, that will give you lots of info to give him.

I know my husband was worried. he had heard the horror stories, but they were not gastric band stories. once I gave him some positive info he was fine.

when you go to seminar make sure he is with you. you can never get enough information; they really told us a lot!

good luck and keep us informed.

[NWgirl 574]

Definitely talk to him and express how you really feel about your weight. I personally have dieted for years and never been able to get to the weight I want to be, and I've been miserable about my body. Don't get me wrong, I like myself, just not the way I look.

I also watched a youtube video of a lapband surgery and my honey watched with me. Before the video, he was hesitant about the surgery, thinking it was a full blown, open you up kind of procedure even after I told him how minimally invasive it is. After watching the video, he actually saw for himself how little is done to put the band in and is relieved and 100% behind me. He knows how hard I've tried to lose the weight on my own, and my recent diagnosis of hypothyroid helped to shine a new light on maybe why those diets never worked...

[depressed_bandster 72]

Mrs Rogers, this is a life changer....for all in your family. You do need to tell him how YOU feel about your weight. My husband has always thought the band was "the easy way out" and had only heard the horror stories about the band, so I knew it would be a sore subject when I decided to do it. I went to a seminar and did A LOT of research before making my final decision to have the band & once I made my decision to do it, I had to tell him. It was hard for me, just because I knew it was not going to be a pretty conversation. He is a healthy, muscular, can eat anything he wants man with a high metabolism so he has no idea what it's like struggling with weight or dieting. He has never had a problem with my weight (246 on surgery day) even though I was about 115 when we met. Luckily, I had my surgery within about 2 weeks of making my decision and telling him. He didn't think it was going to work, he was afraid for me having surgery & having a foreign object placed in me....but now that he sees its working and sees it is NOT the easy way out, he's my biggest cheerleader! He sees the band is just a tool & i have to do my part.....watch what I eat & exercise. I weigh every Tuesday & my whole family can't wait til Tuesdays to see how much I have lost that week.

I am 2 months post-op & have lost 28 pounds, fairly easily. I am already a happier person and my family sees that. Your husband, I'm sure, will want you to do what you have to do to be happier and healthier so you can share a happy healthy life together! Get your data and research together when you talk to him, bring him on this site, and show him it is NOT a dangerous surgery like we all hear about & it does work. This site is sure to answer any questions he might have.

Good Luck! And just know this is the best decision you will make FOR your life and his!

[Fadeout 4]

Hi Mrs. Rogers in addition to all the advice youve already received, I just wanted to say that I can relate to the whole "awkwardness" of telling your husband your going for the surgery after years of insisting you are totally fine with the weight. I spent the last 18 months getting back into a workout routine and swimming and while it did gather me in a bit my weight didnt budge. THAT is when i decided to have the conversation, and told him that While i am "fine" with being a big girl (like ur hubby hes into that too), i was NOT fine with making so much effort and seeing no results, and that i have decided to get banded as a helping tool to finally see results that i deserve. That and answering all his concerns about the surgery and post surgery requirements, went really well! Hope you find it a positive experience and opportunity to create a supportive envirronment for you

[Mrs.Rogers 0]

Thank you all for your advice, I'm glad I joined this site and am able to connect with people who have give threw what I am going threw now. I have talked to my husband and as hard as it was I'm glad its over lol he is supportive 100% and I'm so thankful for him. He understands that I am happy just not fully I've struggled with being a large girl all my life and after trying diet after diet and hour after hour of excersizing and seeing no resaults and trying to just b happy isn't how i want to live. I want to b healthy to my fullest and be able to keep up with everyone I'm 22 now 60 I want to b able to have children and be able to live healthy with them and my husband. and even now that I have made this decision an my husbands support I have to get my doctor to c my view cuz now that i have talked to her about my choice I can tell she thinks in trying to have the easy way out even though she has been my doctor for six yrs and knows everythibgive done and haven't lost weight she just doesn't support me and changes the subject. Any advice for that!? She made me get all kinds of blood work done thinking its my thiroid or diabeties but I've had all that checked out not to long ago. I just feel so helpless

[Mrs.Rogers 0]

And she has never helped just always told me I need to lose weight ..well no **** doc I've been trying and she hasn't helped never would give me a meal plan won't refure me to a nutritionist nothing to help me to lose weight but always tells me my problematic are my weight!? Wtf.. idk how to get a new doctor..

[NWgirl 574]

I had to get all the blood work too. I actually started seeing a new PC Dr., and he wanted to make sure I didn't have anything else wrong. I did find out I have hypothyroidism, low Vit D and low Iron... I am still going forward with the surgery because I have tried on my own and failed miserably each time.

If you need to, find a new primary care Dr. I actually found my new Dr. through the folks at the weight loss institute. Maybe you can call the place you are looking to have surgery and tell them you don't have a PC and ask for a recommendation?

[Mrs.Rogers 0]

I'm beyond irritated with my doctor that's the person that should help and she juat makes me feel like **** n i should hide in a hole!! I'm gna call my insurance and see what doctors are available. That can help ke in this process cuz i don't need tge added stress of being put down for being a large female

[NWgirl 574]

Please do, that is why I changed Dr.'s as well... I was seeing someone at a clinic I visit off and on because I hadn't chosen a 'real' PC and each time I went in for weight loss appointments, the lady made me feel like crap. If she doesn't want the money my insurance will pay her with, so be it.

Even though we are bigger people, we still deserve compassion and respect for our problems. Some people will never experience food addiction and so it is hard for them to wrap their mind around it.

For example, A long time ago, I had a conversation with someone I love dearly about my food issues and they asked me why I didn't just "put the food down." I about went crazy when they said that, which is why I am also being very selective in who I will tell. I don't need to be insulted over my weight issues. You wouldn't belittle an alcoholic or a drug addict, so what makes us any different?

[lorabeth 10]

I just told my doctor that I needed a referral because this is what I am doing. It is your body, not theirs, so you have the final say (as long as you qualify). If your current doctor will not help, find a new doctor!

I am glad you talked to your husband. And that he is supportive. My husband is very skinny and fit man, so I had some struggles talking to him, because he has the opposite problem (he wants to gain weight). But I am so glad I shared my feelings with him. He is 100% behind me, guess thats why I picked him!

[Mrs.Rogers 0]

My husband is pretty fit as well. He does like over 100 push up an sits up and everything a day and in just like dam I can't do one lol he does em when I'm not hone I think so it doesn't make me feel worse.

I ask for a referal she practically said no and lectured me about my weight. I have an appointment tues to get physical n results from all my blood work and see how that turns out and ask for a referal again. I was told by a doctor that if my doctor doesn't give me a referal I can sue her because it is against the law if a patient asks for a referal your doctor must give u one. So im gna remind her of that so I will get my referal. I want to get this process going.