I'm Getting So Much Negative Feedback

[TexasDianne 5]

Sweetie, I've been obese for over 20 years and I was one of those "you're taking the easy way out" people until earlier this year. I'll tell you one thing: YOU are the only person who can make this decision for you.

What finally flicked the switch for me this year was realizing that I've fought my weight for over 20 years, repeatedly saying "I can do this myself...I don't need the easy way out!" And yet...here I am. 215 lbs overweight. So if I can do it myself...why haven't I?

I am now able to look at this surgery as a tool and not as an easy way out. In fact, if you look at the facts and what we all have to do before and after surgery...this is NOT easy. This is a tool, not a quick fix or a guaranteed thing. We all have to work to get the weight off and change the way we're living our lives.

Finally, I thought about my Dad...who was never able to beat his alcoholism and died at the young age of 67. I realized that if there had been a surgery that would have helped him to stop the drinking...I would have supported him. I would have wanted him to do it. Because I would have had so many more years with my Dad...and now he's gone. I'll never have that.

You have to do what is right for you. Let your friends and family know that you've made your decision and that you're standing by yourself. Make it clear that you've heard their input...and now it's time for them to shut it. You can stand your ground and have healthy boundaries...you're going to need to flex those muscles in the months and years to come.

As far as support is concerned, you have it all right here sweetie. You can do this. And we will support you and be here for you.

[sandybraman 18]

I was very surprised that some of the people I chose to tell weren't supportive. My best friend believes that I can do it with diet and exercise; I asked her how long she'd known me and when she answered, I asked her how long I'd been dieting and exercising. There was a long pause - and then she said that if was going to be a tool for me and was going to help some of my health problems, that was what was important.

I guess what I'm saying is that you can't let other people influence your decisions. You have to do what is right for you, and if you've researched this, discussed it with your doctor, and feel that its right - then DO IT. You will have lots of support here -all you have to do is ask.

[myownjourney 47]

Thank you for the support. I talked with my sister today and laid down the facts and she decided that she's going to be in it with me from now until finish. She's taking me to all my appointments. I think with the support of this website and my sister I'll be fine. I also think that once my parents see how I feel once I start losing weight they'll be on my side. Again thank you all

[TexasDianne 5]

That's awesome! You're going to do great at this...and tell your sister that she's the best sister in the world for standing with you. :-)

[suzbuni 32]

My mom was against me having surgery too. ANY surgery. it was just because she loves me, and was afraid of the risks of surgery. My sister had by pass surgery in Sept. my mom saw how well she was doing and came around. she was there with me in the hospital supporting all the way. just took her a while to change her mind.

one of my friends was also against my getting surgery and wouldn't talk to me about or help withkids for preop appointments. Hoping I wasn't go through with it. was very strange, She finial confessed she was worried i would get skinner and she would still be overweight. what was she suppose to do then? She was scared,

Anyway, ignore the negitive comments and do what is right for you. I had surgery a week ago and feel great.

[sandybraman 18]

What a great sister you have! With her support and the support of everyone here, you're going to do great!

[myownjourney 47]

Lol I think that's happening with my friend too. I'm sure they'll come around. I've already made up my mind and its honestly unchangeable now. I'm just ignoring all the negativity and counting down the days until my next appointment