Disappointed And Depressed

[shangefan 193]

I am feeling completely overwhelmed and disappointed by where I am in my journey. I was banded in February 2009 and had great success, losing about 70 pounds in my first year. After that, I moved across country, took a new job and had difficulty finding a new doc that I liked. When I finally found someone, we discovered that I had swelling due to my band being too tight. In the midst of all of this, I have gained nearly 40 pounds. My band was refilled two months ago and at first it wasn't tight enough because they, of course, were trying to make sure I didn't get over-filled. I had a second fill last month and it is much better. Still, I found that I have been fighting against the band, doing everything to get around it and continuing to overeat. It is as though I can't control myself and have completely lost my motivation. I feel fat and like a major failure.

I should note that in the last two months, my job was eliminated. I also in school working on another graduate degree. I feel like my stress level is through the roof.

I'm not sure what I'm asking for, but I know this is a call for help.

Sigh!

[Cazzy 725]

I think you will find that stress is a major factor in not losing weight, we metabolise food a lot differently under stress and for some its the trigger to emotionally eat too.

It might be an idea to find an outlet for your stress, either by relaxation, counselling or something like boxing or gym work .. Having the band fitted doesnt remove all the life challenges we face and we have to learn how to deal with what life throws at us, reduce the stress/change the way you deal with it and i am sure your mind will be a lot more free to concentrate on making the band work for you.

Even getting on the scales to find out you have put on weight can add to your stress, self sabotage with food is a way of internalising stress and this blocks our ability to find the motivation to change what we eat.

But please dont put yourself down, you arent a failure, you just need support.

I wish you well

Try listening to

'If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it'. ~Mary Engelbreit

[Beckh86 40]

I was just there. I lost my job in September and I am currently going through nursing school and I definitely fell off the "band" wagon! I agree with the person above... I took the plunge and joined a gym... It's time for me to put my iPod in and clear my head... It has a major GOOD spiral effect... My body feels good and my mind is at ease because I know I'm doing something good for my self and I have SO MUCH ENERGY. Just try to take even jus a half hour a day to do something good for you and your band... Even if it is a short walk... It's something. Also I joined myfitnesspal.com and I track EVERY CALORIE that goes in my mouth. I love the website because you can also track your exercise and at the end of the day it gives you your estimated weight in 5 weeks. It really keeps me motivated. Keep your head up. Feel free to message me if you want to talk. If you join my fitness pal you can ad me. My user name is beckh86! Good luck

[betheboo 40]

Exercise is such a great stress reliever! Also watch your diet, I am a firm believer that when you eat like crap you feel like crap! Hang in there, you can do it! I tottally understand where you are coming from.

I work full time as a rn, going to school full time for my bsn, & I am primary caregiver for my mom who has kidney cancer with mets to the brain. All we can do is focus on getfing threw the day in as healthy way as possible!

[manda05 0]

I agree with the above comments as well !! Get yourself back on track ... set short term, realistic goals for yourself each week. Start journaling your food intake again. When you reach for something you know isnt a good choice in food, ask yourself if you eat that, will it make you feel guilty, sad/depressed --use that to motivate yourself to say NO and go for the better option snack/food.

And like Cazzy said, you are not a failure!! you just need support !!! thats why we are all here!!! good luck

[Jim1967 3,569]

I don't have much to offer as the rest have stated it already but one thing I would like to mention is if your doctor is not part of a center of excellence then I recommend finding one. You find that the center of excellence providers offer support groups and they don't cost anything. You don't have to switch doctors or anything to visit those groups.

I believe not only will the gym thing help but also a group support system where you can vent and have an outlet to release the stress.

[rosstheboss 21]

Hi you have been through alot of changes, I would suggest like othrs to try and increase your excerize, also look for someone to talk with in your pre-op process you most likley had to talk to a shrink, if you talk to your Lap band dr and get some suggestions they can help alot. go to the support meetings, also it is not out of the question to go to a group like Weight watchers. Keep in mind that the band is a tool so you can use others. I too was over filled for about a year and had to have the ban unfilled than gradualy filled again. At this time I know I need a fill as I can eat just about anything, I usually don't but I could so it is time for a little fill.

Also I see you had your band in 2009, my dr has a plan that you pay $500 for the year and can go as often as you need to but this flat rate is only for thoes who are 2 or more years out so see if your dr has something like that.

[shangefan 193]

Hi All,

I should have mentioned that I AM going to the gym and, in fact, I am working with a trainer. It isn't quite as consistent as I'd like, just because of my crazy schedule and a bunch of other things.

But good news! I had a doctor's visit on Wednesday and am headed back in the right direction. I've lost five pounds since I was there two weeks ago! I'll take all of your suggestions and work to keep it going.

Thanks for all of your support and great advice. I'll keep you posted. And congrats on all of your successes.

[Beckh86 40]

Congrats! That's awesome!

[aloudwhisper 176]

I'm glad that this subject has come up. I had my surgery in 2008, and I have struggled. I've worked out hard since having the surgery, but still haven't found my way. I lost close to 65, but I gained back 20. I'm back on track. Trying to stay positive, and focus on healthy and not just the weight loss. I've had a lot of issues with my band in May. It locked up to the point that I couldn't even drink Water. I feel that if I sometimes wait to long to eat, I start to really struggle to get te food in. I think I'm having band issues, but my doctor does not seem to agree. I plan to look for a new doctor in Jan. I feel that I should have had a better weight loss than I've had.

[Butterfly Queen 111 3]

Dear Shangefan-

It sounds to me that you have had a lot of major life changes happening in a short amount of time which would overwhelm anyone.I think you should search online for some post op support group meetings in your area for local doctors,and attend some of those.That way you might be able to ask some patients how happy they are with the doctor they chose before you commit yourself to him/her for fills.As someone else here said,choose a Bariatric Center For Excellence if you can.You will get the best care possible at one of these.

I think possibly joining Overeaters Anonymous (do a websearch to find a local chapter) may also help you as you will be able to get the help you need to conquer overeating with the help of others going through the same thing.Just because we have a brand new "magical" band in our bodies does not mean that our old ways of thinking and feeling about food eating and excersise have been removed/or replaced so we must face these issues too as Bandsters.You can also join a church group or other group where you share interests (do a websearch or look on your local craigslist).I believe you feel isolated due to the move and losing your job,and leaving the friends you had back home.Joining OA and support groups etc.will help you form a social support network of friends and possibly may help you ask around and network for a new job.

You are not a failure,but just a human being who is going through a lot of changes.I know you feel overwhelmed but you just gotta take back control of your health and your life by finding that new doctor,getting those necessary fills and eating good,nutritious foods and excersicing again.

Taking care of your body and health by loving yourself enough to put yourself first and getting support from others will help you turn this depression thing around.

Before Thomas Edison actually invented the light bulb he tried many, many times.When people asked him how he felt about how many times he "failed" before he invented the light bulb he casually remarked: "I have not failed,I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."Don't beat yourself up for the weight gain or the things you think you did wrong,just make a commitment to a fresh start and forget about the ways that you found that won't work and start back using your band as a tool and the band eating skills that do work.

Also as a sidebar,could you possibly have SAD>>>Seasonal Affective Disorder in which you also can feel depressed from lack of natural lightin the winter?I just recently purchased a blue lightbox last week to help the symptoms of this and I am already feeling better. I think this is an often overlooked source of fall/winter depression so I just wanted to mention that too.

Goos luck to you in all you do.I am sending big hugs your way. ((((HUGS))))

[aloudwhisper 176]

Well said Butterfly.

I ideal of becoming bandster is very different from actually being banded. The band surgery takes you on a journey that you would never go on with any other WLS. Its a day by day process, and support helps. Honestly, I haven't had a lot of supportn during my journey, and honestly its not good. However,I decided to get support for the other area of my life that had a major effect on how I saw food. Its not alway easy to face your struggles, but when you, you will become the best you that you could ever be.

[aloudwhisper 176]

Well said Butterfly.

I ideal of becoming bandster is very different from actually being banded. The band surgery takes you on a journey that you would never go on with any other WLS. Its a day by day process, and support helps. Honestly, I haven't had a lot of supportn during my journey, and honestly its not good. However,I decided to get support for the other area of my life that had a major effect on how I saw food. Its not alway easy to face your struggles, but when you, you will become the best you that you could ever be.

Stay encouraged

[readytogoforit 172]

glad to hear life is back on track! keep us informed, we want to help.

[aloudwhisper 176]

Oh no doubt. I want get the encouragement and pass it on to others. Since getting tighten again, I've had to discover what I can and can not eat and the best time of day to eat it. I'm super tight in the morning. I can barely drink Water. I make my Protein Shake with coconut milk and added some spinach, just for the purpose of getting in the veggies. I can't taste the spinach at all. I went to Zumba class this morning. So I'm on my way :-)