To Tell Or Not To Tell About Lap Band Surgery

[TracyC 32]

I was banded on 11/18 of this year. Since I was told in June that I had diabetes, I have changed a lot of habits (still have a ton to work on) and lost 25 pre-surgery and an additional 10 post surgery. I have a large family function this weekend and am unsure how to approach it. I haven't seen a number of my family members in a long time, so the weight loss will seem drastic to them. I'm not sure how I want to answer questions about it. I'm proud of making the decision to have the band done. I'm happier with the new me and can't wait until the next version comes along

My boyfriend is of the opinion that it isn't anyones business but my own. I almost feel that he is embarrassed with my choice, but I'm not sure that is it. I think there are underlying issues with his family. We didn't tell his father, who lives in the apartment downstairs, until my surgery was complete. I didn't want to have to defend my decision to have the lap band done. Which would have happened because his father is a sweet guy and thinks I'm great the way I am. I couldn't make him understand that if I'm not happy with how I feel, it doesn't matter what he thinks, I'd still be miserable. To his credit, when it was explained to him (by my boyfriend) he has been nothing but supportive. He had some questions and I answered them the best I could.

As for my family, it's a mixed bag. There are those who would be supportive and those who would give me a hard time about how I'm "cheating". I'm not good at being evasive. So far when I'm asked by acquaintances, I've been very honest. I then get into a very lengthy discussion about what it is and how it's done and what I can eat, etc. I become the center of attention, not to mention an advertisement for the band, neither of which I am comfortable with.

Then I think maybe I'm being selfish. I have family members who would benefit from making the decision I've made. If I can share my story and it helps them in any way, aren't I obligated to do just that? I don't know what to do. Any suggestions?

[roxeyk 0]

I posted the same kind of post in the pre op my hubby is so worried about people being mean to me or making me have to defend myself....he wants me to wait until after to tell or decide if I want to tell

[TracyC 32]

I just feel like I'm being deceitful if I say I'm watching what I eat or something like that. It is only partially true. Yes, I watch what I eat much more carefully than ever in the past and I force myself to use the treadmill for more than a clothing rack. But without the band, I wouldn't be where I am now. I guess part of my issue is that I don't want my boyfriend to be uncomfortable if the topic comes up.

[jedivy21 2]

I was banded on 11/18/2010 and struggled with the same question, before and after. Ultimately, I freely told my family and close friends and over time I tell people that I am comfortable telling. Others who ask me about the weight loss - I simply say that I eat a WHOLE lot less and exercise a whole lot more. Notwithstanding my fear about people's reactions, 99.9% of the reaction has been completely loving and supportive. I even had some tell me congratulations and tell me how brave I've been for taking control over my challenges. My advice - screw what other people think or say, if you want to tell them, do it, if not, don't. You've taken control and thats what matters most!

[muelle 64]

When I started the process, I was very adamant that I didn't want anyone except my family to know. I think I was that way because I was embarrassed that I was big enough to need the surgery, and I was afraid if I didn't succeed, people would look down on me if they knew about it. After surgery though, I was very open about it. When someone would ask me what I was doing to lose weight, I just told them I had lapband surgery. Everyone I've talked to about it has been super supportive and about four close friends are now looking into the surgery as well. You are right that when you tell people, they ask all kinds of questions about what you can eat and how it works and I just take the opportunity to educate them I figure if they hear it from someone who knows what it is like to have it, that they may understand it more. Good luck to you in whatever you decide to do

[TracieR 88]

I tell everyone who asks about my weightloss. I feel it helps keep me accountable. I also get the opportunity to educate people about my tool and what it has done for me. I have never had any negative feedback....to my face anyway!!

[Ashleigh'sMom 4]

I was banded 11-22 of this year and struggled with this very question. I decided to tell only a very few friends and hardly any family members. However, I will tell anyone who doesn't really know me that well...kind of strange. I'm not telling basically because of the fear of failure. Because if it didn't work...I didn't want my close friends and family thinking "she went through all of that and haven't lost any weight". You know how family can be (well at least mine) ! Now I am 3 weeks out and have lost 23 lbs. When I get asked if I am losing weight, I simply say..."I'm trying", and don't feel dishonest about it. When I reach my goal (because I am determined that I will)...I will share my story with others, because I too know of others who might benefit from the surgery.