A Few Answers & Update to the End of the Road

[NewSho 20]

I am still confused because in your blog you say that you were banded in 2005 and had the serious illness years before. You post your ticker showing that you had 69 lbs to lose and have lost 53...

and

Ditto above. The story you have on here & the story on your blog are totally different. I re-read both of them thinking I may have mis-read. But, NOPE.....they are different. I'm a little confused. Can you explain please?

Hello! Let's see if I can better explain this.

Turns out it was 51# not 53# - Grrr...I removed the ticker from here since it needs to be re-done, but I haven't done it on my blog yet. Good looking out - I'll change it.

Until I was "fired" as a patient, I never really felt free to talk about my earlier band process. You have to remember, I was told to re-start my band process - in other words, my new 2005 band was just that - a new band. Many of the things that newer Bandsters take for granted were just now available to me. It was a completely new port site, revised location, access, port type, etc. Anyone who has been through FDA Trial A thru C would understand that, it doesn't make much sense to anyone else I'm sure. Getting a new band was a whole new start for me, so since my former surgeon thought that it was vital. (Kind of like being stuffed in a closet.)

Until this weekend, I never posted that I was banded before - so now that I am out of the band closet, I've edited it to reflect that I was seriously ill after a surgery. Quite frankly, I hadn't planned to discuss LapBanding on my plastic surgery blog at all - but I get more questions about LapBanding and insurance/approvals than any other aspect of it. So, I have now edited it to reflect that it was after a surgery that I became ill. Being sick after surgery did damage that will take extensive reconstruction to fix. I'm not being maudlin about it, but there it is. So I try to keep my blog as an informational source and not a written testament to my hell ride with my band. ( I hope my upcoming LapBand Blog can tell the full story, warts and all.)

...

and then had a Tummy Tuck done....and are looking into Lipo, breast job, nose job. ...

I'm not sure what you're saying here. I guess some people frown on cosmetic surgery (*shrug*) but if they saw the hanging skin I had, they might reconsider. I am fighting the hanging skin and hanging boobs with all my might - and there is no gym exercise that can lift up boobs I'm afraid. Anyway, I had long ago discussed my cosmetic surgery aspirations and options with my (former) surgeon. He knew about it.

Oh and not that I have anything against nose jobs, but the blog mentions that I actually have already just had a septoplasty - technicallly more of a sinus surgery done internally. I considered a nose job - but now it's so unimportant,especially next to the Boob Lift & Lipo which need to be done first. It was more important to get my functional parts of my nose fixed rather than the aesthetic aspects of it. Plus I'd rather spend $$$ on LASIK which will actually improve my sight, not just my looks.

Could your doctor just be concerned that you dont need more fill?

Concern? Maybe, but it's clear he doesn't think I need a fill, and he's the surgeon, so he won. I don't call him "Dr No" for nothing.So I didn't get the fill, and he "fired" me anyway. I lost all around. I wish I'd never even gone to his office that day. I'd still be fat, but I wouldn't be overwhelmed with having to find another surgeon right now. It sucks.

Maybe he truly thinks you dont need to lose anymore weight.

Then he needs glasses? Sometimes I wonder what HE sees when he sees me, because he's not looking at me the patient. As a surgeon, I'm sure he's looking at a chart or numbers. That's fine for him - but I have a mirror to contend with! Besides, I have a 30 BMI and am still 'technically' obese. I have his original patient file notes where he says that "the patient is concerned about only losing 1/2 of her excess weight." And then it goes on to say that in his opinion if I only lose a certain number of pounds then he will also be disappointed. Five years later, I guess he got over it, because he thinks it's OK for me to have worked hard and be disappointed now.

I don't blame him for my current weight situation but am VERY distressed that he thinks I'm a Lost Cause. So we're at an impasse. And I pray that another surgeon will see that I have drive, determination, and potential and will work with me. New appointments are being set and hopefully I will get back on track. I just need some help, and more importantly, I need someone who believes I can actually succeed.

[vinesqueen 2]

Wow Sho, amazing journey you've had.

I know you've been through hell and back, but I would strongly recommend that you get your body fat percentaged measured.

My goal weight is 190 to 170, and I will look damn fine at 180, if I ever make it. (stupid Cushing's) But at 180, I'll have a BMI of 30 as well. But at a BMI of 30, I'll have a body fat percentage of close to 30%, which is right where it should be for a woman of my age. RIGHT THERE.

If you need help figuring out your FFM, please drop me a PM and I'll help you figure it out.

Best of luck to you Sho.

[Sunta 5]

I always find it extraordinarily frightening, depressing, and disturbing when doctors give that speech (I've only had it happen once so far, knock wood!). The time it happened to me, it was because the doctor (really she was a nurse practitioner) had absolutely no idea what she was doing, and after a year a half, decided to give up instead of learning something and figuring out what was going on. I subsequently went to a different doctor who took one look at me, diagnosed me within a minute, and prescribed medicine which got me 95% better with three months, as opposed to getting NO better under the care of the NP who gave me the "end of the road" speech. Personally, I do not believe that anyone ever really comes to the "end of the road", because medical science is rapidly evolving every day. Therefor, there is no "end of the road" for any patient. Rather, the "real" definition of "end of the road" is that the doctor is lazy, unenthused, ignorant, and/or unqualified. No doctor should ever give up on or abandon a patient. The very idea is really scary. Why can't doctors just do a little bit of research, or consult with their colleagues, or look up things online? It's not that difficult! I know doctors are short on time, but damn it, we patients are worth it! I know the end of the road speech is a horrible, horrible thing to hear. But when it comes, it really just means it's time to find a different doctor. There is a doctor out there who knows what he/she is doing and can help you. It might take some searching, but there is someone out there who can solve your issues. It's so disheartening, I know, but start looking and you can find someone better. Keep us posted.

[dishdiva 5]

Just curious -- you seem to be focused on what the surgeon "did to you." I know I would be too, after five years. At the same time, I also know that I have issues related to rejection, as do many people who have struggled with weight. So, perhaps this experience is activating some issues for you....that are clouding the main thing you should focus on: yourself! There are so many more great band docs out there now than when you first started your journey -- and you deserve a great one!

I've had complications with my band and totally understand the frustration/anger and wide range of emotions experienced with problems. I've gone to not just one band surgeon, but three. And I "fired" my original surgeon -- with a letter, no less -- who I loved, in part because he was price gouging on fills. It was a matter of principal...and my expectations of what I deserved from someone that I am paying. WE are the customers!

Honestly, had I been as sick as you were at one point, I would have cut myself open and taken the band out myself! That you pressed on is a testimony to your great strength.

So, FORGET the surgeon. He's O-V-E-R. The why's are irrelevant. (I'm with Amy -- send him a nice note or something showing you've risen above his actions!)

Good luck and God bless.