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Who Knows And What Do You Tell People After Lap Band Surgery...



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I told my husband and 1 friend who had gastric bypass. That was my choice...I was a low BMI person and I really didn't want to hear "oh you don't need to do something that drastic".

A couple people at work now know, only because I experienced a slip while travelling abroad for work.

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I see a lot of posts on here about people struggling with who they are going to tell and who they arent going to tell. It is a personal decision, but for me I really just dont see the big deal about it. I dont walk around saying "I got a band" if someone doesnt bring it up but if people ask I tell them and I really dont care what they think. I really have not had any negative comments. When people see how successful it has been for me, they are happy for me. Secondly, I do not know why anyone would have a problem with it. The way I look at it if a smoker is trying to quit smoking they have tools to help them with it- the patch, nicorette, etc. People take medicine to help them control high blood pressure, cholesterol, etc. The band is a tool to help us with our weight control. Its no different from the tools that people get to control those other issues. I am extremely happy with my decision to get the band, and it is still a lot of work on our part to lose the weight, so I am proud of myself for taking the bull by the horns and taking action to do something about my weight problem. Whether to tell people or not is your choice but for it is nothing to be ashamed of and even if I do hear a negative comment, I wouldnt give a rip because I did this for me and I know it has been the right choice for me.

Good luck with whatever you decide and remember hold your head high!

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i have wonderd the same thing. lol i have told my fiance and my mom. thankfully my mother and i are doing this together though we are not banded yet we are working on things and very excited. but i am also in college and im thinkin what am i gunna tell these people all my friends are skinny and they would not understand at all and the ones that are heavy also dont like to talk about there weight problems so im thinking just my family and if im not comfortable telling others then i wont. my main worry is people thinking that im starving my self and upchucking. lol and also im a little worried about offending people while eating at there house. or out to eat i dont wanna make anyone feel uncomfortable. lol

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I have told only my husband. No one needs to know. I have not been banded yet. I plan to tell anyone who asks that I am seeing a dietician and ramped up my exercise program.

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I am like most people in that I did not tell everyone. My wife knows and my neighbors know, because I wear large t-shirts with the sleeves cut out and they have seen the seri-strips. My Dad suffers from early onset dementia, so he doesnt need the extra hassle. My stepmother and the people in my church knew I had surgery, but I just told them it was a stomach procedure. I was suprised at how snippy one woman got when I would not say what I was having done. No one needs to know why I'm losing weight. Just be happy for me that I am.

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Only my boyfriend and his mother know (he told her and I'm assuming she told some people because she gives my clothes away). No one in my family knows and neither do any of my friends. I didn't need any lectures, negativity, or the food police arresting me for eating what I want. A few years ago my sister was thinking about getting gastric bypass surgery and told my parents. They freaked out and started asking me was I thinking about getting a surgery. At the time I wasn't and all I could hear from my mother was you didn't need that (which I did because I've been morbidly obese since I was 18) and I would die (which is most likely not true because of the advancements of today's surgeries). I'm not that close to my parents and I'm a grown woman, so I really didn't need their approval. In the beginning compliments were few and far between. It's hard to tell that someone really large (348 lbs.) has lost weight until they have lost a lot of weight. Now people always ask me what I am doing and I tell them the truth dieting and exercising. No one needs to know your business if you don't want them to know, so don't let someone pressure you into telling them personal details of your life if they are really not that close to you. I've been talked about behind my back so much and stabbed in the back it's not even funny. Just keep your personal life private and if people don't believe you oh well. Isn't that what everyone says, "diet and exercise are the only true way people can lose weight"? Just keep them guessing!

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the only person who knows is my husband. anyone else I tell them I am working with a dietician/nutritionist. I am a very private person and don't share many intimate details. Everyone is different and you have to do what is right for you.

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I told my husband, my mother, my cousin, one banded friend, and my two supervisors at work. My mother told my aunt, who in turn told people that I only see at weddings and funerals.

I also discovered that while I was recovering from "stomach surgery" one of my supervisors decided to violate my right to privacy and told everyone in our department and the two departments on our floor. I have only been in this location since March and I have people from other departments, whose names I don't know, asking me how much weight I have lost!!! I'm livid.

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One of the reasons that the only family that knows is my parents and my one aunt (who doesn't live here) is because they really just can't keep their mouth shut... When and if I decide I want people to know, I want to tell them not them already know from someone else.

As for what I'll tell people when I disappear for two days and why I'm not working, I don't really know. I'll leave that for figuring out later. Haha

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OMG!! That's horrible! That's a large part of the reason I chose NOT to keep it a secret at work. I work on the OB unit, and each night I print out the surgery schedule for the whole hospital for the next day. We get surgical patients that have had hysterectomies, etc on our unit, so we need the housewide schedule. That being said, people browsing through to see what we are expecting the next day are privy to the name of every surgical patient that is scheduled and what they are having done. Because my surgery is at my hospital, my name will eventually be on that list. I would only be inciting gossip by letting it be some secret that gets discovered. That being said, i have not told all of my coworkers. I do speak freely about it with them though, so presumably others have some idea. If anyone asks, I will certainly share. Hopefully it will be on my terms though, and not on someone elses.

I told my husband, my mother, my cousin, one banded friend, and my two supervisors at work. My mother told my aunt, who in turn told people that I only see at weddings and funerals.

I also discovered that while I was recovering from "stomach surgery" one of my supervisors decided to violate my right to privacy and told everyone in our department and the two departments on our floor. I have only been in this location since March and I have people from other departments, whose names I don't know, asking me how much weight I have lost!!! I'm livid.

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I've told my husband, son, sister, brother, nephews, and one close friend. I, like many others, don't want the scrutiny of others. What do I tell them? I tell them the truth - I did one month of liquids and now I play a game everyday to see just how little I can eat!!! I'm a very honest person!! lol

smiley-laughing025.gif

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At first, I wasn't going to tell anybody except my immediate family. Then I realized that I didn't really care if other people approved. I didn't do it for them. So I told anybody when it came up as to why I would be missing from work or better yet, shrinking. Luckily, I guess, I got almost exclusively positive feedback.

Do what makes you comfortable. On one hand, it's none of their business. On the other hand, if they are not supportive, then they are probably not worth your effort.

Plus, if you ever need support, I find just hanging around this site does wonders. Good luck.

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I was very open about it. If I could start over, I dont think I would have been so open.I just get sick of the conversation piece always being about the surgery and being watched when I eat. People assume you will eat a bite of chicken and then be full and if you eat more then (they) expected sometimes they comment..."wow you can still eat alot".... really 14 oz of food is alot? really? I also hate, that I am busting my butt working out, running,lifting, and I have had over weight friends-co workers refer to the band as the easy way out.... EASY WAY OUT? WHAT? I've never worked so hard in my life! For me personally.... I would keep a low profile.

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I was very open about it. If I could start over, I dont think I would have been so open.I just get sick of the conversation piece always being about the surgery and being watched when I eat. People assume you will eat a bite of chicken and then be full and if you eat more then (they) expected sometimes they comment..."wow you can still eat alot".... really 14 oz of food is alot? really? I also hate, that I am busting my butt working out, running,lifting, and I have had over weight friends-co workers refer to the band as the easy way out.... EASY WAY OUT? WHAT? I've never worked so hard in my life! For me personally.... I would keep a low profile.

Yeah.. That's one of the reasons I'm not just telling everyone. I don't need other questioning everything I do, especially since most don't even know how the band works. If someone told me I was taking the easy way out, I would probably say very not nice things to them (LOL). I don't even have mine yet and having to change my eating habits and excluding things from my diet completely is soo difficult... Especially when it comes to cooking. It is nice to be able to make one dish and it last for a week though! :)

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I am open about my surgery. I don't go around talking about it, but if someone asks I tell them the truth. There are people who feel I've taken the easy way out, but it doesnt bother me. Being 4 days out of surgery and the 2 years of workup and the work I'll be doing for the rest of my life isnt the easy way out.

I've also found that not hiding it has given me a larger support group. After telling a coworker, I found that there are 2 other associates dong the workup for lapband.. We've connected and shared stories. So for me, sharing has been more beneficial than keeping it a secret.

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