A Tiny Thanksgiving Dilemma

[sam3841 57]

Oh and we did tell some.people thY I had minor outpatient surgery on my stomach to remove a cyst, best excuse to use.

[cheryl2586 3,053]

I just dont see the point of not telling him your going to have surgery. What if your really not up to going? I dont see why be dishonest with someone if your planning on a long term relationship. How will you explain the scars or even if your out and something gets stuck or even if there are problems after surgery. I dont agree with dishonesty with anyone. It always comes back to bite you.

[sam3841 57]

Well I didn't tell my dad because he had just gotten though colon surgery and cancer and would not understand why anyone would willing going under the knife. Also there is still a big stima with wls and maybe she didn't want the oh your taking the easy way out talk or look. You are.going to.have to tell him eventually, you know when the clothes come off, even though he is guy he might notice the scars. If you don't want to tell anyone you don't have to.

[Joyce Real 21]

Okay so I know this is a really weird thing to post and ask peoples opinions on, but I'm just wondering if anyone else faced a similar situation. On Monday the 21st, I will be getting my lapband surgery. I'm psyched about it and I'm all prepared. I don't mind not being able to eat on Thanksgiving at all. However, a guy that I'm seeing (he's unaware that I'm getting surgery and I prefer not to tell him), invited me over to his house for Thanksgiving dinner. I REALLY want to go but knowing that I can't eat anything, I don't know how that's going to work. It would be really obvious and weird to him and his family if I don't eat anything. I don't see any way around this. The sad part is that my mom and my sister are both working night shift that night so we are not really doing anything for Thanksgiving. So if I don't go over his house, I will be spending Thanksgiving alone. I have personal reasons for not telling him. I'm not ashamed at all, I've told lots of people, but he's very opinionated and I have a feeling he would not approve and would share his negativity with me. Also, he seems to like me the way I am. Just yesterday, when I told him I was on a diet, he asked me why. I really don't think there is anything I can do. It just makes me sad that I'll be spending the holiday alone because I can't eat. Just figured I'd throw this out there in case anyone else has some insight. Thanks!

Don't know about anyone else but 4 days after my surgery I did not feel up to visiting or going out! You need to take care of yourself and heal. But I would not plan an outting until you see how you feel afterwards. Happy ThanksGiving.

[byrd 28]

i like the minor procedure thing,,, I really don't think you are going to feel like going anywhere at all. wait to the night of and start letting him know that you are not feeling well at all. which will probably be true anyway.

[byrd 28]

i like the minor procedure thing,,, I really don't think you are going to feel like going anywhere at all. wait to the night of and start letting him know that you are not feeling well at all. which will probably be true anyway.

[Short and Chunky 230]

I agree with not going and telling him you don't feel well. It was 7 days before I felt "social". As for telling him. Only you can make that decision but it won't be long before he does know - You are getting skinny, can't go out for pizza night, you eat like a bird...He will know..Good luck with your sugery. I know you will be alone on Thanksgiving but you will probably sleep alot that day anyway..watch the parade and some football..it is only one day and you are making a decision that will change your life. I have lost 65 pounds since my surgery (7/7/11) and look better and feel 10 times better..Next Thanksgiving or even this coming Christmas you will be in a better place with yourself and your weight. Hang in there...

[KBaum 7]

By far, days 3 and 4 were the worst days for me. If you feel up to it, go with the minor outpatient procedure on your stomach. I wouldn't want to be alone on Thanksgiving either if I wasn't 'sick'. No one needs to know the details unless you want them to. Just tell them you'd prefer not to discuss with an audience. Good luck!!

[legnarevocrednu 47]

I just dont see the point of not telling him your going to have surgery. What if your really not up to going? I dont see why be dishonest with someone if your planning on a long term relationship. How will you explain the scars or even if your out and something gets stuck or even if there are problems after surgery. I dont agree with dishonesty with anyone. It always comes back to bite you.

Wow...umm...first off, I'm not going to lie to him. Hence the problem I'm having. Second off, it's a new relationship. I have every right to keep it to myself if I want. As I stated, I may feel differently after surgery. I haven't once lied to him so how am I being dishonest? Your response is a tad bit offensive and a lot judgmental.

[54Shirley 105]

There is no Dilemma... You just don't go.

You know This Holiday is all about food ! You can't have any at all, you must let yourself heel.

That's the bottom line.

If you don't want to tell him, then tell him something like a Aunt has personally invited you over, and you must go.

You get the idea.. and leave it at that. No if's , ans, or buts ! You will be out of town. So don't make contact, except cell phone, or Text.

Otherwise enjoy the time that you are going to need to feel better..

Or tell him you are going in for a small surgical procedure, and you must stay home and heal.

[legnarevocrednu 47]

There is no Dilemma... You just don't go.

You know This Holiday is all about food ! You can't have any at all, you must let yourself heel.

That's the bottom line.

If you don't want to tell him, then tell him something like a Aunt has personally invited you over, and you must go.

You get the idea.. and leave it at that. No if's , ans, or buts ! You will be out of town. So don't make contact, except cell phone, or Text.

Otherwise enjoy the time that you are going to need to feel better..

Or tell him you are going in for a small surgical procedure, and you must stay home and heal.

It's really not all about the food to me. I just enjoy being with family and friends. I'm not going to lie or anything...that will just make it worse if down the line I decide to tell him. Thanks for your input though! I will probably need the time to rest up anyway.

[legnarevocrednu 47]

Thanks everyone for your responses! I really have no intention of lieing about anything because I'm hoping I'll feel comfortable telling him in the future. Lies would probably just make it worse. I've already told him I'm on a diet so he knows I'm eating differently. I'm not so worried about the scars because our relationship has not progressed to the level where I need to be. I'll etiher just stay home and watch tv, or I'll go over afterwards. After reading all of your responses, I suppose it's not such a big deal. I've just never had to spend a holiday alone before and the thought of it made me a little sad. But it will be okay!!

[54Shirley 105]

Why don't you have him come over, and keep you company, instead of being alone.

Once he has had his dinner, he won't even think about being hungry. Which is a plus for you.

Good Luck with your surgery, and see you on the Losers Bench...

[Poodlelover56 2]

JoyceReal, I totally agree. There is no way I felt like going and sitting ANYWHERE 3 days after surgery. I couldn't even wear a bra all day due to the discomfort. My advice is also to make no plans for Thanksgiving. I don't agree wih not telling this guy that you want to spend a major holiday with, but that's your business. But I think that trying to sit at a table, even not eating, could be very physically uncomfortable for you. Concentrate on taking are of your self and taking it easy in that immediate post op phase. You want to concentrate on healing. Good luck and Happy Thanksgiving!

[bromo 17]

glad you don't want to lie to him, as that is no way to start a relationship. I could not have gone anywhere on day 4, so you may or may not feel like going anyway. Good luck to you on your surgery and your new relationship.