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To Tell Or Not To Tell About Lap Band ???



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I hope so because I am scared sh*tless lol.

Thank you. My fiancé and family are VERY supportive as well as my fiancé's family. That is all I need. And you are absolutely right. I think she does have a drinking problem and I really do distance my self from her and the other negative people in my life. Life is too short! Congrats to you and your husband! You two will be so happy!

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I've been pretty selective about who I've told. I work with a know-it-all idiot who has already stated that the LapBand is the worst type of diet. If she knew I was having the surgery, she would be spreading it around our high school campus so fast. Only 3 people on my campus know I'm doing it, and I'm hoping that one of them (the administrator who I report to) hasn't said anything to the idiot. It's hard enough working with this person, but this will definitely put me to the test.

My young, physically fit daughter's comment was "why don't you just eat better". I haven't told my son yet (they're 27 and 30). Thank goodness my husband is incredibly supportive - love him!!!

Surgery is mid-Feb, so I'm pretty sure my weight loss will be noticeable by the end of the school year. I say - let them wonder how I'm looking so good!

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I told everyone. I told complete strangers. I'm not saying this has to be what you do, but my decision to do that was for two reasons:

1) it made me accountable. I wasn't going to fail. And I certainly wasn't going to fail if there were a tonne of people watching me.

2) for those who were struggling with their own weight demons, I never wanted to perpetuate to them the myth that ALL you have to do is watch what you eat and exercise more, and it would make you thin. Or that it was what made ME thin. I couldn't do this without the lapband. I wanted others to know that.

So I told everyone, I blogged, I updated FB, I posted progress pics, and every now and then I still come to this website, though most days I forget I have a lapband now. I don't regret telling anyone, even the haters, coz in the end, I had the last laugh, didn't i?

ETA: one of the best things though about telling people is that the lapband went from being 'oh it doesn't work' or 'it's the easy way out' to 'holy crap, it does work' and 'wow, she works out and is fitter than most people'. I alsoI had a tonne of people I knew, who had had WLS, come out of the woodwork to start talking to each other and supporting each other, especially where I worked. I like that I helped dispel the negativity around WLS. It was a side effect that I didn't think of but am grateful for.

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I've only told my sisters and my parents know since my dad is funding it. I'm sure eventuallynword will get out to friends. I may tell 1 or 2 friends so they won't constantly question me. I want to keep it on the down low mostly because I don't want unnecessary pressure and questions.

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For me its "Keep It Simple". Meaning, I only tell people who sees me without clothes on. Trust me, its not that many. LOL!! Its a personal journey. Tell only when its a need to know situation.

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I have been pretty private with the decision to have the Lapband. My husband, parents, sister and best friend were all that knew I was even thinking about it, and other than a co-worker, know that I am having it done in February. I own a two-family home, and my brother and sister in-law live downstairs, and who are both very overweight. We always joke about out weight and out horrible eating habits, but she has noticed that I have had a lot of appointments lately, and have changed my usually over-eating ways. I am very close with my sister in-law, and I want to tell her, but I am afraid of what her reaction will be. She could either be really supportive? Or she can be kinda negative, or even worse compete with me and go for it too. She always said she felt like we were always so close because we are heavy. I don't want that anymore, ya know? Am I making sense?

At work, I am a teacher surrounded by men and women who are tiny. I am very tall and very overweight. I would love to have someone to talk to about this in the lunch room, or have them stop asking if I want another chocolate. They won't understand, and I just feel like this is so private for me still. Anyone else feel that way? That is such a private thing that they don't want people to know about? sad.gif

I have only told my best friend, not even my husband. She and I have shared ups and downs for over 30 years and she is so excited for me. I think she will do it if I'm successful. I just don't think it's anyone else's business! I will tell my hubby when it is actually scheduled and he will support me. But this is something I'm doing for my health and I just want to have it be 'mine'.

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I told a few co-workers and my immediate family. I too was worried about a couple of extended judgmental family members. However, I did find that when I was asked directly if I was losing weight, I answered honestly. When asked how I was doing it, again I couldn't just say, exercise and high Protein diet. It felt sort of dishonest. So I answered honestly and inevitably got into a conversation about the LapBand. I think I should be a spokesperson. :) There is only one person I have not told. And like you, it is a tricky situation. I have a friend (best friend through school) who is overweight and has done everything under the sun to lose weight. She has spent thousands of dollars and not gotten much in the results category. We visited last year (prior to my surgery) and my stepmom went to dinner with us. My step mom was one month post surgery for gastric bypass. I can't tell you how much I heard about the dangers, etc.. from my friend. She thinks she knows all the answers. I decided then not to say anything about my decision to have Lap Band to her. She lives out of state and we see each other once a year. Maybe a year from now, when I am happier with myself, I will feel comfortable defending my decision. Until then she will remain in the dark.

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Good luck with your Feb surgery! I just wanted to add a little thought. I imagine for a lot of us, making this decision took a lot of strength, and personally I think it is a stepping stone towards learning to love yourself better (better love better you!) and because of that I feel its important to remember the priority is you right now. I agree with mgmagnolia, your sis in law might feel threatened and react negatively but depending on personalities she might soon be inspired by you and support your journey.

I had to tell my boss, and when my surgery date was confirmed I told some other colleagues because Id rather be openly discussing it and raising awareness than wonder if ppl are whispering their guesses about my weight loss over coffee.. Ive told my husband and daughters and two girlfriends who have been lovely and supportive. Ive decided I wont tell my family because they would only have negative things to say and would belittle any success. I feel I deserve to make that choice regardless of how I might be judged if they later found out, and I hope you feel as comfortable with your decision.

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