"If......Then....."

[needamulligan 3]

Maybe once you lose a few pounds you will want to make these acquaintances more like friends. Maybe you will have the courage to get out to the bars, dog parks, mall, book stores and strike up a conversation with someone who will turn into a great friend. No one ever meets people on their couch. Maybe you need the band to kick your but into gear and help you build more confidence to help build your circle of friends.

Does that make sense???

I agree, being heavy changes the way we behave, the courage we have, the love we have for our selves. Sometimes it's easy to fall into routines that we've been acting out for decades. They feel safe, there's no risk, but there comes a time when you have to ask yourself not if you'll BE happy after the band but if you're happy with who you are and your life NOW, because if you choose not to get the band or change your life everything will stay as it is. So you have to ask yourself this question... are you happy NOW? Will you be happy 5, 10 even 20 years from now if you keep everything as it is now?

Sometimes our minds rebel when we start seeing ourselves successful in weight loss so we sabotage our efforts...maybe we don't think we deserve happiness.

I have been in this mind set before. I'm done with it though- it took a lot of soul searching but I've finally reached my 'AH HA' moment. No one talked me into it, it's just a place I've arrived at. I took a good look at my life and realized I deserve to be happy, healthy, confident and by being heavy I avoid people- I hide or hibernate indoors, I feel miserable, I detest looking in a mirror and that is sad. I'm tired of being this unhappy and this mean to myself, I am a good person I do not need to be treated this poorly by me, enough looking in the mirror and saying such awful things about the way I look. This needs to change and the only one that can change it is me.

I hope you continue to come to the forums, I hope you find your AH HA moment and I hope you realize you deserve happiness. We've only got this one life to live and maybe the Band is your second chance to get it right. Take care, Teresa

[needamulligan 3]

This is an amazing journey of self discovery. My heart is so sad, yet inspired you are able to put this place you are in into words. Also I feel hopeful because just expressing it is a huge thing, even in this somewhat anonomus forum. We all can relate to the "What if I loose the weight and and not happy" dark thoughts. There are many skinny unhappy people in the world. No matter if you have 85 pounds or 285 pounds to loose we all struggle with our demons. Loosing weight in and of itself will not make you happy. I do think that it gives you the confidence to put your toe out the door and try something you have yeaned to do ....go to the park, fish, walk the dog in a new (!!! ) place, say hello to a stranger etc. These things wll inspire you to do new things...and That my friend will lead you in the direction of " happy " .Happy is not a destination, it is a state of mind, It is a decision we make, and it becomes a habit and soon it is a part of you. The dark place becomes smaller and the heavieness receeds. Enjoy your journey the Lap Band can be a tool to get you where you want to be. Sometimes the place we wantto be is the scariest of all. Just take baby steps!

so very true

[pendulum 6]

Interesting how this remind me/us of things...I remember years ago... I remember 'crawling online' as a way to meet folks (still hiding due to my weight) and now here I am 30 years later....same place.

the band is a TOOL in getting thinner, not an end-all be all...

I also go t anote today from someone on here who used the dame doc I have an appt with- that was a nice feeling )

like I said- glad I am talking this out sooner, than later... also nice ot read p on experiences (good and bad) post-op.

today I learned about green and red zones. just think one day I will be on the 'what shake taste yummy and which taste like mud board? (smile)

sow how does it fee to bend over to pick up something? (or figure out how to get if off the floor with OUT bending over?)

[54Shirley 105]

When I was at my Heaviest, 356 Lbs. I found myself wanting to stay home more, I didn't want to be bothered by other people, or have other people always looking at me like I was stupid for looking the way I was. I got that look enough, so I new what it looked like. As a result I turned to my house, and was O.K. in a way with that.

This January I weighed myself, and I was 328. That's not far from the heaviest weight, so I said I will get my act together, because I have artificial knees,

and if they wear out at this weight, they will not replace them. So I would be in serious trouble, and my Ortho specialist would kill me. This was another reason to lose weight. So,, it was time to put the plan of weight Loss into gear.

My attitude changed after I lost 50 lbs... Why ? Because I could now see a difference. So I started walking around the block 3x a week. That made a big difference ! Eventually I went further in walking, but I took my time. I had to....

One day I was at a store, and a worker said Hello to me , I said hello, and was expecting that look again, and I didn't get it ! I knew then that the way I looked was at least except able in the public's eye. So now I would not feel that uncomfortable being out of the house, and out in the public. I was right.

Now I hooked up at a physical Rehab and rent the place for $25.00 a month, and it's worth it.

I do a hour on different machines, 45 minutes in the pool, then a hot oil massage.

My weight comes of 1 Lb. at a time, and I love being out in the social life.

What I'm saying is besides being able to relate a bit.. Once the weight starts coming of, (AND IT WILL...) Your life changes ! I can't say in what direction,

but things start changing, and you will go with the flow because you can. So it just works, and things fall into place. With these surprises, happiness came into play.

So you see,, it really is a day by day thing.

Hope this makes some sense to you. Because this is the way it works for me.

Shirley.