People Are Watching Your WL Journey

[Dave_NW 92]

I'm coming up on 11 months since my surgery, and I've had great success. I'm feeling SO much better than I used to, in all areas of my life, but especially at work. I work in IT computer support at a busy hospital, and my crazy job keeps me on the go all day long, hauling computers around, installing equipment, solving network user issues, and whatever. I now have the energy to make it through my day, my attitude is better, and everyone I deal with comments on how good I look, and how happy they are for my weight loss. It's awesome to feel this good. (For those of you just starting out on your journey, stick with it, figure out resolutions to any issues, and hang in there -- the results are TOTALLY worth the effort!)

I interact with dozens of people every day, and I wanted to share an observation I've made about some of my obese coworkers: A lot of them have asked me for very specific details about what I did, how it went, and what they'd have to do to have surgery. They all say how envious they are of what I've done, and how they can't wait to do the same for themselves. I share as much as I feel is appropriate with anyone who asks, since I know it's hard to bring this topic into perspective if all you hear is the horror stories and failure tales. Knowing someone in person who is successful is a lot less talked about. So it's another of those "pay it forward" things I try to do in my life.

Most of the people who were the most verbal at first have shown themselves to be "all talk and no walk" as things have gone along. One woman especially, was asking me everything about the ins and outs of me preparing for my surgery last year, and said she was totally committed to getting surgery. She wanted to know everything in minute detail, but she has done absolutely nothing about it. If anything, she's heavier now than she was before. It seems every time I see her she's eating some kind of junk food, or drinking a high-calorie designer coffee drink. She always says "Hey Skinny!" when she sees me, which has long since gone past being amusing. I smile and treat her nicely, but I know she's someone who won't make any changes till she has something dramatic happen in her life. And even then she'll probably approach it from the "victim's" angle.

But some other people have completely surprised me. Two women (one in her 60's and one in her 20's) who asked me a question now and then, saying they were curious about what I did and whether it would work for them, have both started the process of getting ready for surgery. They've both come back to me for more specifics, and I've really tried to support them in their surgery choices. One is having RNY Bypass, and the other isn't sure yet which surgery she'll have. She was very surprised to learn I'd been banded -- she thought based on my weight loss that I'd had bypass. I'm very supportive of them both, and hope they do well. They both have said how afraid they were to start the process, but that my example gave them courage to move ahead with things. I'm very pleased to be able to help others to get their lives and health back under control.

My point in posting this is to share with everyone that people ARE watching you, and how you're doing. Even if they aren't in your face about it, people who know you are interested in your journey. How you handle yourself will possibly bring others along the path you've walked, even those you aren't expecting. You have the opportunity to make a real difference in the lives of others, while making a great difference in your own life.

Wishing everyone great success with their journey!

Dave

[Humming Bird 275]

Great post Dave and great job on your road to weightloss success! :clap:

[NJGirl32 43]

What a great post! You have really done amazingly well-congratualtions! I think it's so great that you are open to being a resource for people consideringthe surgery. Someone I work with helped me make my decision and helped give me the confidence to go with the doctor she went to. She is not open about her surgery, but will help thoses considering it. Someday I hope to do the same for someone.

[Dulci 108]

What a great post. I'm only two days post op and I hope to be like you, a success.

[Slim Down Donna 2]

I'm coming up on 11 months since my surgery, and I've had great success. I'm feeling SO much better than I used to, in all areas of my life, but especially at work. I work in IT computer support at a busy hospital, and my crazy job keeps me on the go all day long, hauling computers around, installing equipment, solving network user issues, and whatever. I now have the energy to make it through my day, my attitude is better, and everyone I deal with comments on how good I look, and how happy they are for my weight loss. It's awesome to feel this good. (For those of you just starting out on your journey, stick with it, figure out resolutions to any issues, and hang in there -- the results are TOTALLY worth the effort!)

I interact with dozens of people every day, and I wanted to share an observation I've made about some of my obese coworkers: A lot of them have asked me for very specific details about what I did, how it went, and what they'd have to do to have surgery. They all say how envious they are of what I've done, and how they can't wait to do the same for themselves. I share as much as I feel is appropriate with anyone who asks, since I know it's hard to bring this topic into perspective if all you hear is the horror stories and failure tales. Knowing someone in person who is successful is a lot less talked about. So it's another of those "pay it forward" things I try to do in my life.

Most of the people who were the most verbal at first have shown themselves to be "all talk and no walk" as things have gone along. One woman especially, was asking me everything about the ins and outs of me preparing for my surgery last year, and said she was totally committed to getting surgery. She wanted to know everything in minute detail, but she has done absolutely nothing about it. If anything, she's heavier now than she was before. It seems every time I see her she's eating some kind of junk food, or drinking a high-calorie designer coffee drink. She always says "Hey Skinny!" when she sees me, which has long since gone past being amusing. I smile and treat her nicely, but I know she's someone who won't make any changes till she has something dramatic happen in her life. And even then she'll probably approach it from the "victim's" angle.

But some other people have completely surprised me. Two women (one in her 60's and one in her 20's) who asked me a question now and then, saying they were curious about what I did and whether it would work for them, have both started the process of getting ready for surgery. They've both come back to me for more specifics, and I've really tried to support them in their surgery choices. One is having RNY Bypass, and the other isn't sure yet which surgery she'll have. She was very surprised to learn I'd been banded -- she thought based on my weight loss that I'd had bypass. I'm very supportive of them both, and hope they do well. They both have said how afraid they were to start the process, but that my example gave them courage to move ahead with things. I'm very pleased to be able to help others to get their lives and health back under control.

My point in posting this is to share with everyone that people ARE watching you, and how you're doing. Even if they aren't in your face about it, people who know you are interested in your journey. How you handle yourself will possibly bring others along the path you've walked, even those you aren't expecting. You have the opportunity to make a real difference in the lives of others, while making a great difference in your own life.

Wishing everyone great success with their journey!

Dave

Tuesday is my last weight check-in with my PCP. I am hopefull that I will be banded in Nov. or Dec. Hubby was banded Oct 21 and has already lost 25 pounds and is wearing clothes that were too tight for him. Your words are a comfort and they are ery encouraging. I want to be the wonderful example you are. Thanks for your post.

[LB4Me 35]

Thanks for the lovely post. I am reluctant to talk about it to people outside my small circle. But you have made me see the other side of the equation.

[roziecakes 20]

Great post Dave! As always, you inspire me. I admire your success!

[pollywogg 17]

I love your quote!

[Mocha-Berry 0]

Dave, thanks for the wonderful post!

[thsisme 14]

Dave great job! and you are so right when you write that people are watching, some very openly and some not so openly. We can educate and encourage and it is up to those that want to do something about their weight and health.

[Thee-O 15]

Great post and congrats on your success!

[123crod 170]

I agree great post Dave! I do believe that people watch us in our WLS journey. I would never approach someone but would not shy away if someone asked me about how I lost weight. I am not ashamed of being fat and then having WLS, I know I have tried so many times on my own and i just needed some help. Also Dave, you are a great inspiration to people who have never met you so I am sure it is double when they have the pleasure of knowing you in person.

But I do hear people say they have taken their Doctor's business cards and handed them out to overweight people they have seen in public not people who asked but just people they thought could use it. What do you think about that? I would be so upset if someone handed a WLS business card and it would put me in a deep depression even if they meant well it would still hurt.

I know that is NOT what you did and not what your post is about but I would like to hear what people think about that. To me it would be like being overweight and someone asking you when you are due. (okay men you would not know that feeling but just imagine it)

Also I would never lie about having the surgery. I have known a friend since our children were in grade school and they are all grown now. She knew I had the band and we talked about it at different get togathers that we saw each other at over the year I was losing. Well I ran into her the other day and she was so skinny, I mean skinny. I told her how GREAT she looked and she said, "Well I just cut back the last couple of months" She had lost a minimum of 150 lbs and looked great but did she think I was stupid? I saw her daughter-in-law and mentioned it and she said yes she had the Bypass we both agreed how great she looked but why the lie? I do not understand it. I was never mean about me having surgery and her not. We talked about the good and the bad, also her sister had the band when they first started doing them and it was common knowledge no one was judgemental. I would never say I know you had the bypass but it makes things uncomfortable. She really looks great and I would have loved to loose as fast as she did but we chose different surgeries and I am happy for her as I believe she is happy for me but why lie? Any thoughts?

Cheri

[Dave_NW 92]

I agree great post Dave! I do believe that people watch us in our WLS journey. I would never approach someone but would not shy away if someone asked me about how I lost weight. I am not ashamed of being fat and then having WLS, I know I have tried so many times on my own and i just needed some help. Also Dave, you are a great inspiration to people who have never met you so I am sure it is double when they have the pleasure of knowing you in person.

But I do hear people say they have taken their Doctor's business cards and handed them out to overweight people they have seen in public not people who asked but just people they thought could use it. What do you think about that? I would be so upset if someone handed a WLS business card and it would put me in a deep depression even if they meant well it would still hurt.

I know that is NOT what you did and not what your post is about but I would like to hear what people think about that. To me it would be like being overweight and someone asking you when you are due. (okay men you would not know that feeling but just imagine it)

Also I would never lie about having the surgery. I have known a friend since our children were in grade school and they are all grown now. She knew I had the band and we talked about it at different get togathers that we saw each other at over the year I was losing. Well I ran into her the other day and she was so skinny, I mean skinny. I told her how GREAT she looked and she said, "Well I just cut back the last couple of months" She had lost a minimum of 150 lbs and looked great but did she think I was stupid? I saw her daughter-in-law and mentioned it and she said yes she had the Bypass we both agreed how great she looked but why the lie? I do not understand it. I was never mean about me having surgery and her not. We talked about the good and the bad, also her sister had the band when they first started doing them and it was common knowledge no one was judgemental. I would never say I know you had the bypass but it makes things uncomfortable. She really looks great and I would have loved to loose as fast as she did but we chose different surgeries and I am happy for her as I believe she is happy for me but why lie? Any thoughts?

Cheri

Interesting ideas, Cheri. I think handing out business cards without being asked is just plain tacky. It's one thing if someone asks if you have a card for your doctor, but to give it to someone you don't know just because you THINK they could use weight loss surgery? What if they've already HAD surgery, and are not far along in the journey, or are having complications? What a terrible thing to do! I would never do that.

In my case, I've just gone about my business. People are asking ME what I did, and I know they're talking about me behind my back. Everyone tells me how much better I look, and I'll tell them about my surgery if they ask, but I'd never push the information on them. It's like trying to force someone to stop smoking - no amount of pushing will get someone to quit. They have to want it for themselves. And they won't quit until they're ready. (I speak from lots of experience, after smoking for over 30 years, and I finally quit for good 12 years ago. It happened only after I made the mental switch from thinking I had a "smoking habit" to accepting that I was a "nicotine addict." That distinction was all I needed to quit once and for all.)

As for lying about having surgery, I think some people are uncomfortable being judged by others. The woman you know who said she just cut back on things and whatever is probably telling everyone that because she's not comfortable being "out" about having surgery. So you got the story she's probably telling everyone.

I'm well known at my job, and everyone knew I was fighting my weight. My manager told everyone in my department (almost 40 people) in a group meeting that I was having surgery right before I did it, so my secret was out without my consent. But by then, it was a done deal anyway, and I decided not to try and hide it. There are plenty of obese people where I work, so I thought maybe I'd be able to help others if they asked. And many of them have. Even those who aren't obese are asking me things, because they have a family member or friend who wants to have surgery. So I'm trying to put a face on this kind of surgery. If my story can help others, either first or second hand, then it's worth sharing the details.

Dave

[pendulum 6]

You really make a good point....

I work for a large retail company (100+ folks) and being diabetic I have seen 'those looks' when I am eating 'crap'. I have shared with a few folks my plans of surgery next year. You note made me realize that by telling a few people to assume that EVERYONE knows...(its a given that once gossip starts 'everyone' knows it, and this would be in the gossip category..."hey, did you here the superfat/big guy is getting surgery?" (I think I am the biggest associate in the building at 6'4 1/2" 398)...

so this DOES put me under the microscope a bit..... and having said this, maybe wishing blabbermouth me weren't telling so many folks in my cautious excitement.... with watching comes judgement? (a fact of life)....

hmmm......thanks for the reminder of a big comany...and congrats on your success!!!!

My point in posting this is to share with everyone that people ARE watching you, and how you're doing. Even if they aren't in your face about it, people who know you are interested in your journey. How you handle yourself will possibly bring others along the path you've walked, even those you aren't expecting. You have the opportunity to make a real difference in the lives of others, while making a great difference in your own life.

Dave

[B-52 7,113]

I agree, very good post.

But as for myself, I have not made my surgery public knowledge and keep it personal and to myself (and close family)

I do not wish to be put under a microscope and critiqued by everyone.