Band isn't working for me

[NatalieB 1]

I think I kidded myself in thinking that I was a good lap-band patient. I have unresolved food issues and without addressing them, I will never be successful. Had my surgery at the end of June and weighed 306. I think I am hovering around 295 right now and have been as low as 289. I drink too much alcohol and eat too much of the slider foods (chips, ice cream, Pasta, etc). So far I have had 4 fills and am around 7 ccs in a 11 cc band. I don't think I need anymore Fluid because I haven't "mastered" this current fill. A few times a week, I vomit from eating to quickly or not chewing well enough. However, tonight I had about 3/4 of an 11oz steak, some potato, some bread, and some appetizer. I didn't think I would be able to eat that much food, particularly that much steak.

Thanks for letting me vent.

[123crod 170]

Do you want it to work? If you do you have to stop now eating all that stuff. You have to know WE still want some of those things but you just have to say NO. It does not matter if you were filled to the top if you want to eat you will find a way. We all know how.

The choice is yours. Put in the time and do it right and It will work. Heck if you just follow the diet and do not workout you will still lose maybe slowly, So many people would like the opportunuity to be in your shoes Banded. Sometime you have to mature and say I am gonna do it and then struggle through it and it does get easier. But your in control not the Band.

If I was you I would be on the phone tomorrow finding myself a therapist that deals with eating disorders and find out whats going on? Something is you have to know that. Don't give up just ask for some help and then do it. Nothing wrong with seeing a therapist everybody could benefit from it. Then I would find me a support group meeting and go to every meeting. We need support from people who are going through what we are going through. You are no different from all of us, you want to lose weight or you would not have done this right? food is just food and living is living you have a fork in(sorry)the road which way are you going?

You can do this. Are you married? Do you have kids? Do you have parents? Do you have loving friends? Somebody loves you and wants you to live. Do you want to live? The step in the right direction is what you took when you decided and went through the surgery

Your weight is still pretty high, do you want to have a heart attack! Spend the rest of your life in a wheelchair? Do this for yourself go see that therapist and work out your problems just think you could be getting healthly on the outside while you are get healthly mentally.

Please don't give up on yourself you already have the tool just start doing your part. So many people here can help you but you have to stop that kind of eating otherwise nobody can help you. Help yourself first. I have lost 84 lbs and it was not easy but easier with the band. I wanted to eat some things I shouldn't but you have to decide what rules your life

Even if you could eat a whole chicken does not mean you have to, Stop

Cheri

[cheryl2586 3,053]

The band stopping the amount of food you intake is a misconception and people need to realize it. Just because you can eat everything and as much as you want does not mean you are supposed too. Its not going to stop you from making bad food choices. You have to want this and do it. I have lost 70lbs and gving up all the things I love was worth it. Do I love to drink yes but I dont, do I love sweets more than anything but I love living even more. I could with the band sit down and eat a half gallon of ice cream and it wont stop me. I can sit and eat 10 hershey bars and it wont stop me, I can sit and eat as much food as I want and it wont stop me I have to stop myself. No one said it will be easy if they did who was it because it hasnt been easy and everyday is a daily struggle. For those who magically lost weight with no issues well yay for them because I think most people with the band struggle to maintain what they have lost and still reach for that goal. You have to want it you have to stop sabotaging yourself. Isnt the scale moving enough motivation for you. If you dont lose the weight it will eventually lose you. Your choice but make the right choice and healthy eating is not that bad it actually taste pretty darn good. As for the alcohol it wont kill you if you dont stop drinking it but it might if you dont.

[KimK813 2]

Well not exactly the same, I found myself with unresolved food issues as well. I had lost almost 70lbs when I realized I still was "boredom" eating and not listening to my body. Thankfully my insurance covers Psychiatric services, so I started seeing a counselor and a dietician (this was not required prior to surgery for me). I did it out of frustration because I had plateaued, but I see it making a difference already. I hope that you will be able to see help because it has been a real eye opener for me!

Good luck, everyone!

[Jack 855]

re: "I have unresolved food issues and without addressing them, I will never be successful."

now that you've vented, what are you going to do?

Each day now that I have 'mostly' resolved my own 'food issues' is a blessing that is not consumed with living to eat.

I've grown away from the habit and comfort of mere swallowing rather than doing something more fun, more satisfying, more demanding of my time and attention.

Yes, we do sometimes need additional help to get on the path. Hope you can find the time to seek a local live therapist who can assist in your recovery.

Cheers in your journey.

[Corrigan 75]

Why on earth............never mind.

[Subie66 6]

NatalieB- I can relate. This is a hard process for some of us. Some people post, they just eat less of the things they used to eat and drop a lot of weight. I have several friends who have had the surgery and they eat nothing but crap and they have dropped so much weight that it makes me a little jealous. They do not exercise either.

I find I have to work every day at this- just doesnt seem fair. I walk 2 miles a day, I eat my Protein and veggies and still the scale barely moves.

When I went to my banded friends house the other day (her and her hubby were banded the same day) I hadnt eaten all day- since I had gone to the doc with her and she said grab whatever you want- all she had was carbs in the house, Cereal, candy, Cookies, pop and pie. The only veggies she had were the individual portion sizes and some ravioli in the small containers that her 4 y/o takes for his lunch.< /p>

They eat out almost night.

I just went home and did my usual cooking for my family and was dumbfounded at their situation. How could they both loose so much? Our surgeries were about a month apart 2 years ago, and they have never changed anything except the amount they eat. I too eat so much less. I have PCOS and knew this was going to be different for me and I have found that it is.

I crave carbs all the time, I went thru a period where that is all I wanted and had to get out of that mindset. It was hard but I did do the 5 day pouch test. Mostly stuck with the Soup the first 2 days and then chicken and tuna salad the other days. It really helps.

The meal you had with the steak- did seem like a lot. Dont know what others would say- might need to let the doc know how much you can eat at a time and maybe tweek that fill. Practice slowing down and chewing better so you dont vomit.

There are so many people on here that give good advice and I dont want you to think you are the only one who the band is not working for- you just need to practice some better habits and remember this is all pretty new to you still.

[dk4k 15]

NatalieB- I can relate. This is a hard process for some of us. Some people post, they just eat less of the things they used to eat and drop a lot of weight. I have several friends who have had the surgery and they eat nothing but crap and they have dropped so much weight that it makes me a little jealous. They do not exercise either.

I find I have to work every day at this- just doesnt seem fair. I walk 2 miles a day, I eat my Protein and veggies and still the scale barely moves.

When I went to my banded friends house the other day (her and her hubby were banded the same day) I hadnt eaten all day- since I had gone to the doc with her and she said grab whatever you want- all she had was carbs in the house, Cereal, candy, Cookies, pop and pie. The only veggies she had were the individual portion sizes and some ravioli in the small containers that her 4 y/o takes for his lunch.

They eat out almost night.

I just went home and did my usual cooking for my family and was dumbfounded at their situation. How could they both loose so much? Our surgeries were about a month apart 2 years ago, and they have never changed anything except the amount they eat. I too eat so much less. I have PCOS and knew this was going to be different for me and I have found that it is.

I crave carbs all the time, I went thru a period where that is all I wanted and had to get out of that mindset. It was hard but I did do the 5 day pouch test. Mostly stuck with the Soup the first 2 days and then chicken and tuna salad the other days. It really helps.

The meal you had with the steak- did seem like a lot. Dont know what others would say- might need to let the doc know how much you can eat at a time and maybe tweek that fill. Practice slowing down and chewing better so you dont vomit.

There are so many people on here that give good advice and I dont want you to think you are the only one who the band is not working for- you just need to practice some better habits and remember this is all pretty new to you still.

I don't mean to steal the thread, but wanted to say to Subie66 that your friends who are eating all carbs and not exercising are probably losing a lot of muscle, are not any healthier than when they started, and probably have that weight-loss-lose-skin "turkey neck". You look incredibly healthy. It's harder to do the right thing but it's always worth it.

NatalieB, you need to do some tough love on yourself. I can eat what I want on any given day, but most of the time I choose not to. It's hard. The band was not designed to make you not eat the things that are bad for you. You have to decide to do the hard work because you want to be healthier, period. I almost died from an obesity related problem, so maybe I'm lucky that I actually got the wake up call and I get it, I know why I'm doing this. I have 2 kids and I don't want to die young. I still ate 2 Cookies yesterday (and would have had chocolate if I could have found any in the house), but I also ate a lot of Protein and exercised.

About 6 months after surgery, I found myself putting almost as much food on my plate as the rest of my family. If it is on my plate, I am going to attempt to eat it. It took me a while to get back into the right mindset and start serving myself small portions again. I found that if I have a small portion on my plate, I will eat that and stop.

You have to decide that you are worth the tremendous effort you have to put into making this change, and then do it!

[Subie66 6]

DK4K- you are exactly right- I found myself wanting to keep up with the rest of the family and put stuff on my plate like them- but after a while I finally realized- I just cant do it. I sometimes dont even sit at the table- if we are in a hurry to eat and go somewhere- I will just take a bite or two and wait till we get back to sit and relax and enjoy my meal.

They haven't got "turkey neck" yet! Dang-it! I know what you mean- it is not healthy to do that to themselves and they know it. I am afraid when they do revert to eating real foods- that they will gain. I do worry about their health. She said her hubby went to the grocery and bought $50 worth of junk food the other night- since it is right before halloween- you know all the candy that is available.

Use those smaller plates, that is something I do now too. I use the saucers to our plates, that way it all matches, when we eat together and sometimes I even just sit the salad plates out for the rest of the family and they dont really notice the change.

[Jack 855]

I find it VERY helpful to reinforce my own meal size by using downsized dishes. I can 'fill them up' and 'fill myself up' visually using a saucer or the smallest little cereal bowel, rather than my econo-sized extra deep/wide Morbidly Obese Survival Plates....my favorite cup-handled Soup bowl can hold less than 3/4 cup of soup, while my old one was good for 1 1/2 cups. And somehow at times that visual clue simply helps when I might otherwise attempt to eat past mere satiety. Old habits dwindle slowly even now. And bad NEW habits are so easily based on not-quite-yet-extinguished bad OLD habits....

[Miller.ted 3]

WOW... I could never imagine going thru hell and back then right back to hell. I wish you the best luck...

[Jachut 487]

Its such an unfair situation that it is so difficult for some people.

I can report from the "people who dont change what they eat, just eat less" camp. That's me. I lost pretty easily with the band, right from the word go. I kept losing way past the point where people plateau. I eat carbs. But I do eat healthy overall - I dont stuff my face with white carbs, sugar, crappy foods. But I do eat anything and everything. I use the band to let me live a very normal life - I can join in that morning tea at work because I dont over do it.

But is that as effortless as it sounds? Not really. I exercise REALLY hard and a real LOT. I run miles and miles and miles every week. Not just slow steady jogging, I do interval stuff. I might burn 900 calories in a session. I chuck a 20kg sandbag about raising my heart rate to where I almost see stars, not push a weights machine in the gym around. If I go to the gym and just do a spin class, I feel guilty that I still need to run a bit that day. I really work hard. That allows me to "eat whatever I want" in small portions. Its the other half of the equation. So, the way I see it, its a trade off. You can low carb, change what you eat totally work really hard at that side of the equation and do zumba and a gym program for the other. I just choose to balance my equation by burning insane amounts of energy.

Its how I handle my "eating issues". I have them like anyone else. But I manage them by allowing for them (yes, I know I will most likely boredom eat at 4pm at least four days of the week) and by burning more than I eat. I know I can never totally give up wine or chocolate!

I dont have a turkey neck and no muscle either. That comes from fast weight loss and excessive calorie cutting, not from eating or not eating any particular foods. Many low carbers look like deflated balloons at the end of their weight loss too.

You have to find your formula. Its different for everyone. You know you cant eat a gallon of icecream at a sitting very often. But you dont need to be perfect either. You dont need to hate yourself for not being able to eat perfectly and never slip. You can slip up, and quite often, its getting back on the wagon that matters. Seek out some help if you feel you need it, and if your best attempts on the eating half of the equation arent quite getting you where you want to be, adjust the exercise side. But every good day is a triumph and every attempt at a good day is better than how you used to be. There isnt a deadline to finish this journey either. Day by day, week by week you get there. Sometimes the good days outweigh the bad and those periods are satisfying, sometimes you really have to pull yourself up by your bootstraps.

But you can do it if you're realistic about it - accept that the band changes very little about you, you have to do it. But its a process, not an instant phenomenon. If you can look back in a year and see how you've changed, then its a success.

[elcee 3,341]

and probably have that weight-loss-lose-skin "turkey neck".

This has nothing to do with what you eat or how much you work out. It has more to do with where you were carrying the weight before, your age, how elastic your skin is etc.

I have spent most of my life with double or sometimes even triple chins. They are now all gone , however the skin on my neck is looser than I would like it to be. Yes it could even be the beginnings of a turkey neck. But I am almost 49 and I figure I can't look like a 20 year old for ever. And I would swap the double chins for a turkey neck any day!

If you do know of exercises that prvent or fix it then please let us know!

[Butterfly Queen 111 3]

Good Lord!!!!!!I am not going to say shame on you but instead you need some help immediately with this journey.You could be a danger to yourself eating those things!!!

Identifying the problem is the first step to solving it.No the band will not "work for you" because no,it is not magic(I wish it was!) but instead you must do the work first and foremost (good food choices,following your doctor's recommendations to the letter and excercising 30 min a day minimum 3-5x per week)and the band will mereley help with your portion size,chewing thoroughly and eating slowly which helps with feeling satisfied.It really is a process, not a magic bullet.

You must be ready able and willing to make a permanent lifestyle change forever and ever amen.

Meaning=You must commit yourself to feeling good and being healthy with the Lap Band and say goodbye to the foods that are literally stealing your health and your life away!

I recommend that you get to an overeater's anonymous support group pronto,(do a websearch)visit an nutritionist and cover what your food choices and portion sizes should be plus how many times a day you should eat and no more,plus what supplements you need to take.Last,see a psychiatrist/psychologist if you think you are still "comforting yourself" with food.

Depression = comforting your self with food = weight gain (I should know)

I am not trying to be mean,I just don't want you to cause yourself a serious complication by not following doctor's orders on this and eating all that horrible food.You can serioussly damage your band and even cause band slippage/erosion from poor behavior choices.

Good luck to you and I hope you take me seriously but know I am not trying to hurt your feelings but instead to help you with this.(((HUGS))))

[Butterfly Queen 111 3]

Oh and I also wanted to say seriously consider AA if you need help to stop drinking.>I stopped drinking in 2006 .I did not go there but it may help you.Alcohol is 100% empty calories without any nutritional value whatsoever and the carbonation (as in beer) can stretch your pouch too.

And remember,you have not 'failed' yet-you are just having a setback,and you realize what you have done wrong.Now,dust yourself off,get up and get backon the wagon and if you really really want to,try to make this band work because you are "married " to it for life and the two of you must work together to have harmony.