Need Some Advice?

DevilMayKare · February 12, 2006

Your mother could have handled it differently, but I think it is unrealistic to think anyone is going to loan/give you $10,000 without ANY strings attached. There have been plenty of threads dealing w/ "Mom" issues when there wasn't a cent involved.

My parents are great in many ways and I'm probably closer to my family than most people, but guess what? THEY DO NOT EVEN KNOW ABOUT MY BAND! And I have NO intention of EVER telling them.

So please don't think it's just about the money. Money is often about something else anyway.

Also Velvet, I have no idea from this post how old you are. Although the band has been a good thing for me at my age (50), if my 21-yr-old son (who is about 50# over) wanted to get a lapband at his age I would not be supportive of it. He has far from exhausted his options to lose weight. I would not loan nor would I co-sign for him to get the $ for the band at this point in his life. If he were 150# overweight and 30 or 40 years old I would probably feel differently. I, personally, think SURGERY should be one of your LAST options. The lapband is NOT without complications. And we all don't even know what some of them may be 10 years from now.

I've lost over 100# twice during my life and kept it off for more than 2 years at a time. It's a bitch, but can be done and is certainly easier the younger you are. Maybe you SHOULD take your mother up on Nutrisystem offer. Try that first and give it your best shot with the knowledge that the band will still be there. And while you are doing Nutrisystems you can be working on your credit.

I'm just trying to see it from your Mother's possible point of view--and it is a valid one.

DevilMayKare · February 12, 2006

And as for sending her to this board, don't forget there are a few things you might NOT want her to read! There are more than a few threads (erosion et al) that might give one pause.

At the very least, you have to find some way to put a block on all DeLarla's postings!!

DeLarla · February 12, 2006

If your mom pays for your band, do you think she's the type of person to keep tabs on everything you eat? Will she constantly be in your face asking how much you lost, or why aren't you losing faster? Please take those things into consideration. Having a family member constantly monitoring our intake can have a rebound affect and mess with your emotions.

My mom came to Vegas when I got married with a fat cashier's check in her purse because she wanted to buy us a house. There was no way I wanted that hanging over my head because she'd have smeared my nose in it for life. My husband, however, accepted a loan of a few grand to consolidate some debts from before we met to improve his credit score, and my mother promised not to tell my siblings or family. But the first time she flipped out, the whole family knew. Even though my husband made arrangements to pay his mother-in-law back, now my siblings will always believe that I wasn't able to buy my own home, which is a burn that never goes away. I didn't need her money and wasn't happy that my husband accepted her help, but she's always loved him like her own.

If you decided to accept your mom's loan, at least protect yourself with a contract so they realize they'll have to separate the loan from your progress. Does that make any sense?

bubblesstina · February 12, 2006

I agree with Kare, take you r mom up on the Nutrisystems offer and at the same time get your credit in shape so that is it does not work you have an option avaliable without your mothers conditions/strings attached.

I wuld have rathe died than asked my family for the money if my insurance did not cover it.

My best friend on the other hand has a wonderul family!! when her mom found out she was thinking about the surg she called all the other kids and TOLD them they neeed to contribute so she could have this done. Her sibs are well off and can afford to pay for it withour missing the $$$. Anyway, they all agreed to pay half and my friend paid half with a loan. That is one option you could present to you r mom, After the nutrisystems thing fails..

Good luck and remember, if you take the $ from her, no matter how long it has been, she will always bring it up, everytime you go home, she will make comments about how she paid for you to be skinny....

CCBSTX · February 13, 2006

Take money for band=get healthy

Take health and energy=build your credit, get out of debt, and save $$

Take your $$=pay for your own weddding

Doesn't it sound simple??? Take care and good luck!! Shawn

little one · February 17, 2006

this question is for vluckey, did you have a good experience with Dr. Curry? I am getting ready for surgery with him. Have you had any complications with the band. Have you had any fills yet, in general how would you rate his service. Where are you located at if that is ok to ask. Please all the info would be greatly appreciated.