Fighting the Negativity Makers...

[SkinnyMiniMe 63]

Last night I got a dose of negativity I did not tell many people (about 3 people know) about my decision to have this surgery BUT the one friend that knows actually had the Lapband. We went out last night. She just got a fill a couple days ago so she was only able to eat 1/2 of a Soup just the broth and an Iced Tea. So in the middle of dinner, she starts telling me how hard it is...blah...blah...blah and I started to freak !!!! I actually started to think that maybe this surgery is not for me. I understand she is trying to make sure that I know what I am getting into. Fear set in ! Then this morning my mom made a comment about the bagel I was eating and how I will only be able to eat a mini. She then proceeded to tell me that her neighbor got the Lapband and started at size 18 and is now a 20!.It made me sooooo frustrated. I was prepared for the negative talk BUT it's hard not to second guess your decision. My husband who was with me in both incidences and is also getting the lapband, said that he does not care what anybody says. He did not get swayed at all. So as I was getting dressed and was struggling to tie my sneakers I realized that this is the right decision for me. I ate plenty of Bagels in my lifetime it's time for a change!

Then I remembered from a Dr. Robert Anthony book "Beyond Positive Thinking" he says fear is not tangible. You can't go and get a bucket of fear. You create in your mind. Just a couple of his quotes that help me stay strong:

(1) "We fear the thing we want the most"

(2) "don't listen to others who are coming from fear and living in negativity. If you do, you are using YOUR creative powers to help THEM manifest what they fear."

(3) "You can think of this like launching a rocket. Let's call it your "Rocket of Desire". The launching power is feeling excited about having what you want. However, if after you launch your Rocket of Desire you say, "But I am not sure I can do this" or "I am not sure this will work out", you've taken your rocket that was moving with great speed toward your goal and you've cut back the power. The end result is your rocket went from soaring towards your goal to crashing into the ground. That's how your worries and fears push away the things you want. If you unconsciously send up other rockets based on your fears, you're cutting the power you sent to your Rocket of Desire."

WOW!!! Just researching his quotes totally just motivated me. I am launching my "Rocket of Desire" full speed ahead!

What motivates you???? I welcome all the positive support I can get!!! THANKS!

[Corrigan 75]

You did well. that was an excellent post. Just keep smiling.

[kll724 3,055]

Last night I got a dose of negativity I did not tell many people (about 3 people know) about my decision to have this surgery BUT the one friend that knows actually had the Lapband. We went out last night. She just got a fill a couple days ago so she was only able to eat 1/2 of a Soup just the broth and an Iced Tea. So in the middle of dinner, she starts telling me how hard it is...blah...blah...blah and I started to freak !!!! I actually started to think that maybe this surgery is not for me. I understand she is trying to make sure that I know what I am getting into. Fear set in ! Then this morning my mom made a comment about the bagel I was eating and how I will only be able to eat a mini. She then proceeded to tell me that her neighbor got the Lapband and started at size 18 and is now a 20!.It made me sooooo frustrated. I was prepared for the negative talk BUT it's hard not to second guess your decision. My husband who was with me in both incidences and is also getting the lapband, said that he does not care what anybody says. He did not get swayed at all. So as I was getting dressed and was struggling to tie my sneakers I realized that this is the right decision for me. I ate plenty of Bagels in my lifetime it's time for a change!

You have the right attitude, don't let the naysayers get you down! Best of luck, Karen

Then I remembered from a Dr. Robert Anthony book "Beyond Positive Thinking" he says fear is not tangible. You can't go and get a bucket of fear. You create in your mind. Just a couple of his quotes that help me stay strong:

(1) "We fear the thing we want the most"

(2) "don't listen to others who are coming from fear and living in negativity. If you do, you are using YOUR creative powers to help THEM manifest what they fear."

(3) "You can think of this like launching a rocket. Let's call it your "Rocket of Desire". The launching power is feeling excited about having what you want. However, if after you launch your Rocket of Desire you say, "But I am not sure I can do this" or "I am not sure this will work out", you've taken your rocket that was moving with great speed toward your goal and you've cut back the power. The end result is your rocket went from soaring towards your goal to crashing into the ground. That's how your worries and fears push away the things you want. If you unconsciously send up other rockets based on your fears, you're cutting the power you sent to your Rocket of Desire."

WOW!!! Just researching his quotes totally just motivated me. I am launching my "Rocket of Desire" full speed ahead!

What motivates you???? I welcome all the positive support I can get!!! THANKS!

[screeden 21]

ignore the negative nellies. they are out there, but i have found those who are the most negative either know nothing about the band or know someone who had a problem. it is a tool, not an instant fix. i thought about it for me for over a year and decided this is what i need to do for me and i don't regret it one bit. yes it does suck sometimes to not eat a big fat deep dish slice of pizza, but it is not good for me and it is what helped get me to where i was in the first place. i am down 40 lbs in 6 months and i am right on track. i am happy, feel good and would do it again. it is a lifestyle change and you have to work at it. i say poopoo on the ney sayers. don't worry about them, only worry about you.

[54Shirley 105]

When I was first Banded 10/31/06. I was so happy that I spread the word, because I was know 1/2 the size, and loving it.

They came out in Groves ! Can't you do it yourself ? Why do you have to have Surgery, don't you have any willpower ? I heard it all.

I was sorry that I opened my mouth, because of the peoples ignorance about the band. Mostly these were people that I worked with.

and loved the fact that I started to looked so good, (SO THEY SAID) but then would stick the knife in my back.

So this time around, I told no one ! It's none of their business how I live, and what I do.

People are just amazed at the weight loss, and approve it. So they see me in stores every now and then, and see the difference, at then compared to the

last time they seen me. So a lot of NSV's going on by the General Public, and Friends.

I am Happy when I see the Cloths size change. That does it for me.

I would say don't worry about it, because they really don't know what they are talking about.

Your the one that has to tie those shoes (never will forget that..) So you know what must be done.

They will get use to it, and you will also find out who your friends are.

Shirley.

[shirley36 14]

[quote name='54Shirley' timestamp='thats why im not sure who all im going tell few as possible.

[SkinnyMiniMe 63]

When I was first Banded 10/31/06. I was so happy that I spread the word, because I was know 1/2 the size, and loving it.

They came out in Groves ! Can't you do it yourself ? Why do you have to have Surgery, don't you have any willpower ? I heard it all. ARGHHHHHH

I was sorry that I opened my mouth, because of the peoples ignorance about the band. Mostly these were people that I worked with.

and loved the fact that I started to looked so good, (SO THEY SAID) but then would stick the knife in my back.

So this time around, I told no one ! It's none of their business how I live, and what I do.

People are just amazed at the weight loss, and approve it. So they see me in stores every now and then, and see the difference, at then compared to the

last time they seen me. So a lot of NSV's going on by the General Public, and Friends.

I am Happy when I see the Cloths size change. That does it for me.

I would say don't worry about it, because they really don't know what they are talking about.

Your the one that has to tie those shoes (never will forget that..) So you know what must be done. LOL...not for long

They will get use to it, and you will also find out who your friends are.

Shirley.

[abqann 3]

I am not telling many people. I do not need the horror stories or the negativity. I have listened to many conversations that others have gone through it and watched the emotional fall out. My Husband and adult daughter know. I will tell my adult son when I have a surgery date. I have 2 friends at work I have told, one had bypass last year and the other is just a good friend. That is all. I may change my mind after I am approved but I doubt it. Probably after when I can be of encouragement to someone who is contemplating the procedure. I figure it in nobodies business. .I must say it is HARD sometimes not to tell because it is on my mind ALL the time! However this is a personal decision, just like getting banded, so what ever each of us needs on the journey is what is important.

[Cindy C 150]

I usually tell the naysayers, "Well you are certainly entitled to your opinion." Before surgery I had a skinny friend start preaching about what I should do. I told her, "Why don't you go gain a hundred pounds, carry it around with you for a couple decades and then come back and tell me how easy it is to lose it 'the right' way!"

[Catherine55 43]

Hi, Skinny Mini Me! Don't let that friend get you down. Also, the food changes really aren't that big of a deal. It's no hardship to "only" eat a smaller portion when that portion makes you feel 100% full and satisfied.

I just had my third year bandiversary yesterday, and I've been at goal for more than a year. This process has been so overwhelmingly positive, and I don't question my decision to get banded for a second. I just put up a post on my blog for my bandiversary (link below), and in it, I wrote a letter to my pre-band self from my perspective today. If you're interested, take a look at it, since it probably addresses things you are thinking and worrying about now.

Also -- on the telling people thing, I elected not to tell anyone at work and was selective about who I told outside of the office. I'm glad that I did that -- I really was glad to have my privacy through this process and not to have people bothering me about my food choices or giving me their unsolicited opinions about my decision to have WLS.

Sending you best wishes for much success,

Catherine

[FLORIDAYS 3,040]

No-one walks my shoes..... so I do not let anyone dictate my decisions.

Before deciding on the band I did my research, read forums like this one and interviewed 3 different Drs. I asked everyone I knew who had WLS to tell me the pros and cons..... Since I was self pay I really had to consider all the options.

I made my decision and so far it was the best decision I have ever made for myself. Its not easy.... if it was then everyone would be doing it.

[54Shirley 105]

DITTO !