Please HELP! Surgery this week and no support!

[Trac75 0]

Fortunately, I carry my weight very well so my family doesn't understand how a surgeon would even band me. I've had 3 back surgeries and have horrible reflux and have asthma. I've lost the same 50lbs fifteen times. My mom and sister haven't experienced weight problems until about 10 years ago, vs my whole life...I'm 36. I'm having a very hard time. They don't even want to discuss it, won't watch the video, and say I'm not going to be ant fun to eat with. I've cried off and on all day and am really stressing out. I'm on the pre op diet and just want to say screw it and eat. I'm thinking "shouldn't I be able to eat all I want right before surgery?" especially since I'm paying out of pocket! I know bad attitude...but I'm stressing!

[maelo 0]

You must have felt very strongly about your decision to get this far in the process. As you make better decisions about your diet and it shows in weight loss, your family will be facing their own dysfunctional eating habits and unhappiness with their weight/health status. You will be a constant reminder, so expect more resistance.

Don't sabbotage yourself by messing up your pre-op diet. As you know, eating is fun, but being fat and unhealthy is not. You know this.

Use this situation as an opportunity to take control of your life and honor yourself and your decision. Good luck and keep me posted.

Fortunately, I carry my weight very well so my family doesn't understand how a surgeon would even band me. I've had 3 back surgeries and have horrible reflux and have asthma. I've lost the same 50lbs fifteen times. My mom and sister haven't experienced weight problems until about 10 years ago, vs my whole life...I'm 36. I'm having a very hard time. They don't even want to discuss it, won't watch the video, and say I'm not going to be ant fun to eat with. I've cried off and on all day and am really stressing out. I'm on the pre op diet and just want to say screw it and eat. I'm thinking "shouldn't I be able to eat all I want right before surgery?" especially since I'm paying out of pocket! I know bad attitude...but I'm stressing!

[garyb464 0]

don't stop your pre op diet.the diet is supposed to help shrink your liver.if your liver is swelled to much doc might send you home.how they explained it to me is,if your liver is swollen it would almost be impossible to move it out of the way so he can put the lap band in.example take a big piece of Jello try to hold it in your hand it will fall apart.same goes with your liver.if it is to big and he attemps to move it it will tear it.then you are looking now to get a liver transplant.not trying to scare you but my doc said before he starts his surgery he makes one small hole inserts a camera and checks how big the liver is.and that will tell if you followed the pre opt diet.if your liver is to big home you will go.so it is very important you follow the diet.now for your next question you have made your mind up you are having the band put in well as for your family if they don't want to stand behind you and praise your decsion for a better life and health.tell them you are doing this for you not them.i have been banded 2 months and i am doing well with it you just have to put it in your mind you are going to do this and your going to make it work.i think one thing your family might be jealous because your going to be skinny and well you fill in the blanks.if this is what you want for you go for it.its not a bad operation.if i can tollerate it anybody can good luck any support or question you have about the surgery or after surgery i will be glad to help just drop a line and i see what i can do to ease your fears.

[Trac75 0]

thank u both! I didnt stop the diet...just.a bad moment. Lost 7 lbs already. Im committed to this, but if I didnt have a bad relationship with food I wouldnt be doing this.

My family is worried about me going under anesthesia. They want me to be happy and honestly wont be jealous when i lose the weight, they just wont talk to me about it at all and im freaking out!

Im.so thankful for these forums!

[maelo 0]

Please keep me posted. I have not started the process yet (I'll have my first appt on Halloween). I will be glad to have a "big sister" who can guide me. Much luck.

thank u both! I didnt stop the diet...just.a bad moment. Lost 7 lbs already. Im committed to this, but if I didnt have a bad relationship with food I wouldnt be doing this.

My family is worried about me going under anesthesia. They want me to be happy and honestly wont be jealous when i lose the weight, they just wont talk to me about it at all and im freaking out!

Im.so thankful for these forums!

[DebHart71 3]

I have had many people mention all the functions that are centered around food and how I will be sitting there while everyone else has a big meal. I have to tell them that I am tired of my life revolving around food. I think I am interesting enough to have a conversation at dinner that the amount of food I have should not make a difference to anyone. If it makes a difference we don't have to eat together. I love my life and my daughter more than I love food and this is why I am doing this.

Give them some time and they will eventually come around. Ask them if this difference of opinion is really worth the rift in your relationship? Tell them you are going to have this done and you are going to succeed whether or not you have their support but it would be easier with it.

I hope things work out for you and your family.

Debora

[Trac75 0]

Thanks Debora! I really appreciate the support! I think they'll come around, but for right now they're no support at all and Im struggling. Ivr committed to this. Im paying out of pocket, so Ive obviously thought a ton about it. Im ready yo change me relationship with food.< /p>

[Grider 92]

I live alone and fam knows but is kinda far away. surgery day, when it gets here will be a major disruption with small kids- school etc. so I am alone. I pray and God to lead me and keep me through all the ordeals. I have had colonoscopy- endoscpoy and the worse manometry test to get this done. It has been challanging and I am not approved yet. I get on the website , realate to some of my buddies on here who encourage me alot. so hang in there! Keep your mind on a new you, a better you, happier and healthier. I look at all the before and after pictures, when i feel low, that helps me. Some times, you must go through alone, but then you will sing that old tune... baby if you could see me now !.. you will be OK, face front n center- hup!

[Trac75 0]

Maelo,

I'll definitely keep u posted! Good luck!

Grider,

Ilive alone too, just very close to my family. My mom lives in my guest house. I knoe they'll come around, but i need the support now u know? Good luck to u! I'll keep u all posted. Ygis liquid diet stinks though!

[banderman007 0]

It doesn't matter how we pay we have made a decision to change our life for the better the harder we work at it the better our results will be, no one said it will be easy and no one else can do it for us just remember that the end results will be our greatest rewards so start now and work harder than we have ever worked before and the pounds will come off, the diet and exercise will work, and when we reach that target weight work even harder to make sure we maintain that target or it will be all for nothing because we must remember that this is only a tool, and a test of our willpower is still the only way we will succeed. I will be a November bandster and I will succeed so any one who wants to succeed with me jump on my bandwagon and come along for the journey , Think positive and be positive My diet starts tomorrow and my band goes on November 2nd , so come one come all join my friend page and we can keep each other strong and on track to succeed .

[Trac75 0]

Davewd40,

I appreciate your enthusiasm. I am ready to do this and all the support on here is incredibly helpful! I'd love to join ur friend page...but um don't know how. Can u help?

[banderman007 0]

just hit the little guy under the persons profile name in the posts

Davewd40,

I appreciate your enthusiasm. I am ready to do this and all the support on here is incredibly helpful! I'd love to join ur friend page...but um don't know how. Can u help?

[54Shirley 105]

Were on here for support !

I'm sure yu know you must do what you have too. Anastesia with this surgery is down to a Patton. So you don't have to worry about that.

It's all a vary smooth surgery, with pain meds. to keep you feeling almost pain free, until you are pain free.

If yur family doesn't know how to approach you on the matter, don't worry about it. They might not know enough about it to talk..

With what you have learned, or in your books from your seminar, you might want to educate them a little ????

That's up to you.

I can be found most times, and you can feel free to send me a message if you want, and I will gladly answer your question if I can.

Take Care, Shirley.

[Trac75 0]

Thank u Shirley! I appreciate that very much.